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Beating heart Master Post
Aug. 7th, 2014 11:29 pmCHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
***
Jensen went home that night decided to go looking for his teacher the next day. And Jared found him on his way out the next morning.
“Jensen, there’s not much you can do.” He answered at the crazy idea in his friend’s head.
Jensen was furious and his clear almost white pupils were fix on his friend’s face “At least I’ll try.”
Jared scoffed how he could worry so much. “You hardly even know her.” Jared tried while holding his hand.
Jensen turned tossing Jared’s hands away. “You don’t understand, you are not one of us. That’s why you don’t care.” He started walking but Jared followed him.
“I care, I just don’t understand why you try to save everyone.” And Jared held Jensen by the arms and standing in front of him.
“Jared, please don’t piss me off, last time the marks lasted weeks…”
“I just want to understand. Why?”
“At the center…” he tried but nothing came out. “At the center here… they said that when rottens lost it, and they have no one… they… those without family are used for experiments… I wouldn’t allow that to happen to her.”
Jared moved to the car and drove Jensen straight to the police station where the incident was reported.
The only police officer that cared enough to talk to them told them that the rotten involved might have died already, that was sent to a confinement center downtown.
Jensen moved closer.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” and moving closer and closer kept shouting. “You just throwed her, a human being; into a center when she needs health assistance?”
“We needed an adult in charge of her to get her to a better place; we did what we could do.”
“You did what was easier!!” shouted Jensen.
The officer crossed his arms and raised one brow. “Careful son, you’re very close to attack a police officer.”
Jared got in middle of them. “He’s legally half deceased. Even if he wants to he can’t control his anger.” And then turned facing Jensen. “We’ll see if she’s still on that center, we’ll help her, okay?”
Jensen finally fixed his eyes on him and nodded.
“Could you please give us the address?” Jared tried. They left the place and Jared waited patiently until Jensen cooled off enough to get in the car with him. “We’re gonna find her Jensen, don’t worry.”
Jensen just nodded. Still not trusting his own voice.
When he finally spoke they were half way to the address given to them.
“I don’t understand. Why? We’re not different. We don’t have anything more or anything less. Why people can’t understand we’re just people, just people…” and he moved his hands as if searching for something to hold on to. “Sometimes I wish… I shouldn’t have been brought back.” Something warm wrapped his hand, was Jared’s right hand.
“Don’t say that, don’t you ever say that again… what about me? You brought me back too Jensen. What about Osric? What about your parents? Mines? The entire town! Don’t you ever think you’re better off gone.” Without thinking he brought Jensen’s hand to his lips and kissed it.
Jensen felt the soft, warm touch of Jared’s lips and the only thing in his head was Misha, how the older man used to kiss him and make him smile even after the cruelest jokes, or the most abusive things.
He heard like from far away a voice calling his name and by the time he focused his eyes he saw Jared holding his hand trying to call his attention. “What?”
“You spaced out, you okay?”
Jensen nodded and Jared saw something on his face, was it a blush? On that too pale skin?
It took Jared all his will power to let go of Jensen’s hand. It took Jared all his will power not to ask for a real kiss, instead of the weird detachment, or the surprise of the unexpected.
They walked into the center and Jared was shocked, once passing the doors they saw hundreds of rottens, in diverse clothing in different states of lucidity, some of them were tied to tables and chairs, most of them gagged, still they could hear screams and threats.
On one side of the enormous room some half deceased were bunched, most of them couldn’t move, they had dry blood caked on their faces and hands, their clothing were only rags covered in different satins, surely they have tried to feed them.
“What in God’s grace is this?” Shouted Jared, a female nurse cam to them worn stern expression on her face.
“Hello, I’m Nurse Talbot, who are you looking for?”
“Samantha Smith…” Jensen was still looking around; this was their first look into how the world treated half deceased patients. When they said that their town was progressive and inclusive and treated them like real people was right.
Jared looked how the nurse flipped page after page on her clip board, frustrated for not finding anything.
“When was she brought?” Jared spoke while Jensen still faced one and other. He saw one of the patients on one of the thick straitjackets, very upset, trying to reach the wall to smack his head again, an equally stern nurse just moved his chair away from the wall, Jensen walked to him and without even saying a word started scratching his nose, the sob the man let out broke his heart, he also stopped the manic movement.
“Sir! Step away from that patient!” the nurse that was near to Jared shouted.
Jensen turned to her, clear eyes fix on her, tense, and shaking out of contained anger. “If you even got close to him you’ll know his nose was itching.” He raised one hand. “You’d knew if you cared enough to ask him!”
“Sir…” Nurse Talbot smirked. “Most of them don’t understand anyways…” and once more facing only Jared. “Samantha Smith, she’s among the regressed ones…” the lady pointed to the bunched ones, covered in their own filth.
“Really?” Jensen stalked to the group of rabid rottens, most of them had gags, few had masks, and it was like a rendition to the silence of the lambs.
It was such a surprise seeing them calmed and focused on Jensen as he walked among them. Nurses and orderlies ran to stop him, but apparently he was at no risk of being attacked, among the group he found a matted blond head, she had one of the masks, he caressed the hair and fake blue eyes turned to him. “Don’t worry, I’m here…”
The eyes blinked a couple times before they focused on Jensen and she let out a sigh. Jensen knelt in front of her and removed the mask. “I’m here now.”
Jared looked amazed how Jensen was caring and sweet with Mrs. Smith. It took them the rest of the day to finish the paperwork, and it only served to take her somewhere else, a decent place. She couldn’t go home or go home with Jensen.
Josh was there when they carried their teacher in, only to tell them she was in regression. “She has seven, ten days tops…” he said morose. “I’m sorry Jay.” he was facing his brother, ready to be at least pushed away, Jensen just started breathing harder.
“Jensen?” Jared was next to him. But Jensen ignored him to face Josh.
“Isn’t there anything else? Can’t you do anything else? Is she really going to die?” Josh just shook his head. Jensen calmly thanked him and waited until his brother left hands and knees on the floor. Tears were falling down his eyes.
Jared was at his side. “Jensen… Jensen?”
Jensen sobbed, deeply, and Jared couldn’t help it, he pulled Jensen against his chest.
“Shhh, you’ll be fine.”
“I know…”
“And she’ll rest.”
“I know… at least she’s in a better place at the end. This is all she’ll remember.”
“Then why are you crying…?”
The sobs got louder and heavier. “I don’t know.” And Jensen held his shirt as if it were the only thing holding him on this world. Jared wanted to laugh, wanted to say something funny to make Jensen feel better, but he couldn’t make himself give a fig for that, all he felt was the warm breath of Jensen against his chest, Jensen’s face was right over the collar of his shirt, and he was getting hard.
He prayed for Jensen not to notice.
***
Mrs. Smith passed away-back, as they say in case of half deceased- on a Thursday near summer, the service was three days later, Mrs. Smith’s last wish was to be cremated. “I don’t want to do this over again, please.” She said to Jensen.
So Jensen respected his wishes. Many kids from her classes were there, so were few other teachers, one of them told her story, she died the first time on a car crash, she was in the same car as his mother and baby sister, her husband and her twins. But she stayed alive over a month on ICU while the rest died instantly, as a result; she was the only one back, all alone. Yet she did her best to give something back.
Jensen had cried more over the last week than in the entire year. His eyes were hurting after that, finals were coming and the new teacher kept the system of grading Mrs. Smith left, that’s why Jensen’s novel. “The kid with blight black eyes” gained him the top score at the end. It was a novel about how a kid, called Oscar came back as half deceased and at first hid from the world scared that he’ll not be accepted. How he went back to school while on treatment and found amazing friends, Tristan and Jason, they always had ice cream and walked around and got in trouble, but not for being bad.
How the kid wanted nothing more in life than to find love and to have back his black eyes, because those were his mom’s eyes and he missed them the most from his old life.
The new teacher even gave Jensen a couple editors’ cards and wished him luck.
Jared changed majors, even thought it meant he and Jensen would not have more classes together. He wanted going after social studies, and public planning. The day Jensen heard that, just looked into Jared’s face for a minute and smiled.
“Okay, it’s been good to have you around.” He said and offered Jared his hand to shake.
“What?”
“I guess that’s it, right? You said so; you’d be done with me at the end of the semester.”
“Wha- what?”
“You said that after thanksgiving, you will be done with me after the semester were over.” And smiling to him continued. “I guess is over. It’s been a pleasure.”
“But… ” Jared had no idea of what was happening; his changing of majors was only to help. He was planning on helping in centers, and literature or history weren’t the right kind of courses.
They didn’t see each other again in campus, they went back home for the summer and Jared started working on a camp for kids about a week after going home. And Osric was there, Osric was elated to have his tall friend with him.
Jensen was left alone to roam the streets, it was hot, it was quiet, and it was far different from the town he came back to. It was like the town he grew up in now, it was like a heavy fog was lifted.
The Healing Hearts center for half deceased was now in every newscast, a decent clean place, in a very inclusive society, and the initiative taken by the small town was producing a chain reaction in the rest of the country.
Still something was missing on Jensen’s life.
It was noon when he sat on the bus stop, he was going to the center and he still had no car. Apparently his progress was once more stalled. Still everyone had faith on his full recovery even if he passed the 2 years mark without having a beating heart or colored eyes.
Two people sat next to him. He didn’t even turned at first.
“So? Are you already dating him?”
Jensen ignored them thinking they were talking to each other or something. He kept the same position, staring right in front.
“Seriously, are you gonna ignore me?” Jensen turned to find Mackenzie his baby sister, sitting next to Megan, Jared’s baby sister.
“Mac? Meg?”
“Tell us, are you two dating?” Jensen smiled the same smile of tenderness his baby sister gets out of him.
“No, not really into dating right now… and he’s not interested.”
Megan smiled and blushing a little interceded. “Not true, he’s so stupidly inlove with you is disgusting…”
Jensen smiled responding to her, and even more color tainted her cheeks.
“Sweetie, we’re not together, because I am not ready, and Jared is not interested. That should be enough.”
“Call Osric!” pressed Megan. “We need to know.”
Jensen blinked a couple times trying to understand this.
He learned that contrary to what happened to Jeff, Jared and him, the girls were blessed with being in the same boarding school and were good friends even if Mack was a senior while Megs was a junior. The question was how the girls did know Osric.
Osric was of course from Meg’s class back before he died, they were best friends and until the day Osric passed away several months before Jensen and Jeff Padalecki get into the fight.
***
Osric was sitting next to Jared in a raft.
“So… about what we discussed at oggie’s” Started the boy while rowing as fast as he could.
“Discussed? What we discussed?” Jared kept rowing too, trying to direct the raft away from dangerous water while the other couple rafts on the race were left behind.
“About Jensen dating someone.” Osric was left out of breath. “Come on! I want to win this one…”
“I don’t think he’s ready to date, and I don’t think we should be discussing this.”
The group of people on the shore was cheering loudly.
“So, he didn’t call Alfie? Damn! He was so cute.”
“He wasn’t!” Jared was pissed at Osric out of nowhere. “His head is too big and he looks closer to your age than Jensen’s” and breathing deep. “Besides, Jensen deserves something better.”
“Like someone who shares interests? That knows about his classes and stuff?”
“Why? Did he told you something?” Jared smacked himself internally rolling his eyes for sounding like a teenage girl. “nevermind, he’s free to date anyone.”
“Jared…” they were getting to the dock. “You like Jensen, right?”
Jared sometimes wished he could hate the adorableness of Osric Chau, every time that young little mouth let out his crazy ideas he ended up losing sleep.
That’s why he went to town the next day, just to be harassed by Mack and Meg. Apparently the girls had a secret deal with Osric, all of them wanted only one thing: To hitch Jared and Jensen.
Jared was pretty much dressed and had his hair brushed by both girls and asked to go to the library for a book they needed seconds after they asked for his car and were on their way out.
Hey! Don’t blame him he’s embarrassed enough. Just remember he didn’t had the chance to grow up near to a baby sister, and he still don’t know how to say no to her.
So he ended up sitting on a bus station waiting for a bus when he felt before hear something. He turned and saw Jensen, but something was different, and it was breath taking, his eyes finally had color. And were gorgeous!
That was the most amazing green he’s ever seen, and Jared couldn’t even breath or blink or look away.
“Jared…” Jensen said surprised and tried to look away self conscious of his eyes.
“Your eyes!!” Jared was up and moving closer to Jensen.
“Don’t get too worked up… I bought contacts. The shrink thinks it’ll be good for me.”
“Are those your eyes? For real?” Jensen blinked, was Jared listening at all? “I mean the color…”
“NO…” Jensen moved past Jared and sat on the bench looking down the street for the bus. “There wasn’t anything closer to my color but yeah… my eyes were green.”
“Oh…” Jared sat next to his friend, the smell was comforting now; there was something comforting in the earthy smell that once disgusted him. “For one second I thought you progressed fast.”
“No… I haven’t seen anything new since the end of the semester… I had my first ha-“ he cut himself off. “…dream.” He Corrected.
“What you dreamed about?”
Jensen lowered his eyes with a sad smile. “Better times.” He wasn’t ready to accept he had a wet dream, which was a sign of improvement, he wanted to miss Misha, he wanted to mourn Mrs. Smith, he wasn’t ready to face his attraction for his friend. But what was the point.
Jared was thinking about Osric as usual, about what the kid said, damn kid with an old soul who always knew how to make him think about Jensen.
So he moved closer.
“I heard the craziest thing from our sister.” Jensen started out of nowhere. “They think you might be inlove with me.”
Jared held his breath; half panicked looking for answers while staring at Jensen’s fake green eyes. Jensen blinked and moved his hands to take off the lenses “I’m sorry, I- I just wanted to try.”
“If your eyes are at all as beautiful as those contacts, then they’re the most beautiful eyes in the world.” Jensen blinked again. “I mean…” Jared tried to correct what he just said.
“I-I don’t think my eyes were at all like…” and Jensen tried to move. “this is-” he reached for his eyes again but Jared stopped his hand.
“I don’t want to offend you, okay?”
Jensen relaxed and his brain provided what he used to call polite smile. “I know, I just don’t want you to feel awkward around me, we’ve get so far in this… this friendship.”
“I know…”
“I seriously don’t want this to get awkward; I rather have you as a friend than not at all.”
“I might believe the girls are right.”
Jensen felt the heavy pain in his chest again, what a bad moment his heart found to try to work. “I was hoping…” he said breathless. “Hoping you felt that way. But I don’t think…”
“I’ve felt that way since the beginning. Since that first time we spoke, at my parents’ house.”
“Good.” Jensen showed one of those honest smiles, with the green eyes was even more amazing, breathtaking beautiful. “Because I knew you were different that same night. When you came after me I knew it. I was just scared and hurt.”
Jensen sighed and faced him. “But so much has happened Jared, are you sure you’re ready for whatever we have to change?”
“I don’t know.”
“Because if things change I won’t go half way, I’ve learnt something, with all this, that if you love someone you have to love them fully, with everything, showing the world and the entire galaxy how you feel, to value the one you love every second, I won’t hide it, no matter the consequences.”
“Good.” Jared repeated smiling so wide his dimples cut deep on his cheeks. “I wouldn’t let you.”
“Good.” Jensen repeated moving forward and kissing him. They could hear the bus coming, so they parted and smiled getting on the bus quietly.
***
Jared had to go back to work, and they pretty much kept the change in their relationship a secret.
Jensen used to walk from his house to Jared’s and they kissed and chatted or just held hands for hours.
It wasn’t because they weren’t ready, it wasn’t because they were afraid, they felt protective of this new budding thing, this love, they wanted to have it as theirs for a while.
Because once out, once their families knew, everything would change, they knew their parents would be over them in seconds so their sisters and Osric.
And also because it was to piss the girls and Osric too, they were all trying so hard.
“OOHHH you going to Jared’s…” Singsonged Mackenzie while Jensen was getting ready. “Jared and Jensen sitting on a couch, F-U-C-K-I-N-G…” she started before her mother threatened to wash her mouth with soap.
Megan offered Jared a deluxe pack of condoms. “How you got those?”
“Oh come on… do you need them or Jensen is the kind of guy who carries their own?”
“I’m not having sex with Jensen.” The *yet* was left out. “and you having those? That’s disgusting.”
Osric was sitting on Jensen’s car, because that summer Jensen got to have his license again. “Do you like Jared?”
“I like him, yes; he’s one of my best friends.”
“NO, I mean it, as in like-like…”
“Why? Do you have a crush on him?” Osric sputtered and throwed his hands up.
“Can you be serious? Do you or do you not like Jared.”
“I told you I like him, he’s one of my best friends.”
“Jensen!!”
Jensen was happier now than in any other moment of his life since he could remember. “What?” the kid’s face exasperated made him smile. “come on, I have to take you home, I’ll go watch a game with Jared.”
“Can I come too?” Osric asked, maybe he could sneak around and see if they were actually kissing or something. Second thought- he said to himself- I am sure I don’t want to find them doing something else
“SURE!” Jensen was all smiles. “Call your mom, I’ll tell Jared he’d need to order more pizza.” So yeah, that night they did stick with watching the game.
By the end of summer they were ready to start a new life, and Jensen went to see Jared parents, to say good bye and ask them permission to date their son.
Donna and Sherri spend the night cooing over their sons and their fathers, as open minded as they were; were already making plans for adoption. The rest of the siblings were in complete ignorance of this. Just like Jensen and Jared wanted it.
***
Jensen’s apartment was bigger and they moved there, they started getting closer and closer.
They have tried some things, but Jensen got too worked up, when Jared wanted to change angles, he growled, pushed Jared down and held him down making him groan in pain. Just to jump back saying he was sorry.
No matter how often Jared wanted them to try again Jensen always felt scared of hurting Jared.
“I won’t be hurt, Jensen…” Jared caressed his arm while Jensen was moving away. “If you get too rough I’ll tell you to stop.”
Jensen kissed his chest and sat next to him trying to inhale calmly. “You don’t understand, love. I don’t know if I can stop.” And he sat smiling to his boyfriend. “You make me lose my mind.”
Jared smiled, he felt loved and cared for, he had found his place finally.
The bedroom was small hardly room for the bed and a small table and a chair, it was still the best place in earth, Jensen had over the headboard a small shelf filled with memoires of his childhood, an old stuffed animal, the fishing trophy he and his siblings won when they were kids, the ball from his last lacrosse goal, Ty’s football patch, his yearbook, Misha’s aviators, and a beer cap, from the first night at Jared’s house, when he helped his now boyfriend to clean, and also picture of them both with their entire families including Osric and his mom.
He felt protected and safe, even if scared to hurt his future lover.
“I’ll be fine, Jensen, sweetie, please…” begged Jared sucking Jensen’s neck, knowing what that made to him. “I like it when you get all possessive, and all strong and dominant.” He licked a line over his throat feeling his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. “I so need you in me… I want to remember only you… forever only you.”
Jensen was looking up, to the shelf trying to find something to still his resolution. “Jay, no… I’m not sure…”
“Please…” he whispered against his skin. “Please make me yours.” Jensen gasped and let out a growl –like
“MINE.”
The first time they had sex, had Jared over the moon, he came so many times he can’t remember, apparently half deceased in still not full recovery had endless stamina, the bed rocked against the wall until few things from the wall fell on tom of them, Jared will have a bruise where the trophy hit him, and they needed another glass for the picture frame. The yearbook landed next to them with few pages crumpled, Jared was held on Jared’s arm against his chest.
“I think you broke me…” mumbled Jensen half asleep making Jared chuckle.
The younger man took the book and tried to put it away, seeing the page folded was the football team on he checked it, looking for his first crush, he found Jensen but he saw nobody else.
“funny, I thought there was a guy, a wing. I think green eyes, Broad shoulders? very shy?”
“Oh… no, that was me…” Jensen giggled and closed his eyes. “Don’t tell me you remember me, I was so lame, only on the team to please my father2 he snuggled closer. “You really broke me, my heart is still beating and my head hurts.”
Jared held the book amazed, it was Jensen, it was him his first love was him the love of his life.
Jared woke up to find and empty bed. “Jensen?”
He walked down the hall calling his lover’s name, he felt worn out and sore, but in a good way, in a delicious way, he found the door of the bathroom ajar and light pouring in a small line from it. “Jay?”
Jensen turned facing Jared, his eyes were green, but they glowed differently under the yellowish light. “You don’t have to wear those…” Jared tried to calm him.
Jensen shook his head and offered him a hand, when Jared gave him his hand Jensen pulled him close and pressed his hand over his chest, under layers of clothes and flesh he could feel it, the soft beating of a heart.
Jared gasped and moved away, that didn’t make sense. That wasn’t right.
“You cured me.” offered Jensen showing him the closed case of contacts.
Jared gasped, surprise too much for him to take in one go. He let out a giggle “Good.”
Jensen chuckled and faced the mirror again. “Yeah, good.”
So many possibilities open for them now.
The end.
There was a zombie apocalypse, everyone who died in 2009 rose from the grave. (it's not infectuous, if you get bitten you don't turn)
Scientists found a treatment for the zombies, to bring back their original personalities. Their bodies are still deadish, but other than not needing to either eat or drink and not feeling any pain, and only being able to die if their brains are destroyed, they're for the most part just people.
Jensen died, committing suicide, and now he's back in his home town, where people already couldn't stand him because he was gay. His parents took him back in, but they and his siblings have a hard time dealing with his suicide.
People in town don't like the ideas of the zombies coming back home. There are laws protecting the partially deceased, but not everyone obeys them.
Jared was a classmate of Jensen and part of the militia that used to fight the zombies.
He's shocked to see Jensen. And he has a hard time dealing with the fact that Jensen is ... different, but he still loves him. And learns to realize that people like Jensen aren't evil.
Would love a romance, just no graphic sex pretty please.)
Title: beating heart
Author: me
Kink: romance, J2, suicide, violence, several characters death (including main characters), homophobia, non explicit m/m non con h/c.
