Happened before Dean went searching for Death

Dean was looking at his brother, he gave up on Lisa, on Cassie, on Dad, on pretty much everyone and everything, he gave up on so much yet there was two things he'd fight for. Sam wasn't asleep as he pretended to be, Dean knew, and it makes him remember another time when Sam minus soul couldn't sleep at all, when his baby brother who was his life betrayed him, but moved on his chair, silently, waiting for Sam to be asleep, really asleep before walking towards the bed, remembering the time he was a just a kid, maybe five and Sammy broke in his fisrt teeth and he spent the night next to him singing Mom's song and caressign him, and his hand moved to brush brown hair away, before conscously stoping, becaue adults does not stroke their also adult brother's hair away while they sleep.. that was way too close to what Vicky and the weirdos liked... he said and smiled to himself.
He forgot so much from Sam, since the day he wanted Mom all for himself after he fell on the park and she was with Sam, when he wished he had no a baby brother, it only lasted like two hours after that he was just there staring at the baby's little face.
yeah Dean knew he'd do anything for Sam right there and then

he saw his baby brother and saw a demon more thanonce, he was hours away from hell, HOURS away from leaving his baby brother alone for good.

Tittle: Don't Fear The Clown
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: Family
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam WInchester, John Winchester
rathed; G
Spoilers: No
Summary: We all know Sam fear clowns, but why?
A/N: I tend to think on the weirdest things while preparing for stress, this one comes from omething that happened back back in my first days back and a kid lost in a circus
A/N 1: long time in the making, lets see what you guys think
( clowns )

'No Sammy, this is not right...' Dean was checking on his homework and pointed so many errors that Sam was about to cry, it was late and he was tired 'look, go to bed I'll wake yuup early and we will see ok?' pushed him towards the bathroom, Dean is not always like that sometimes he's mean for no good reason, Just like dad, and with mother's day coming, Sam doesn't know what to do, but the teacher choosed him to read his compossition on the festival and he's very proud, because he's the one who read best, he's been called smart, at first he started something like

'Why I have no mother by Samuel Winchester

When I was six months old my mother died so I never get to know her, then my dad had to start traveling wiht his new job so I don't have a home either, all I have is my brother Dean.
My dad is not bad he's always sad and sometimes he drinks too much, but he love us, that's what Dean tells me every night.'

But Dan read that and was upset, don't let dad find that recomended and caused Sam to throw a fit, but as usual his older brother controlled him with no problem, after all noone will ever known him better than his Dean.

'Dean...?' and his older brother left his own homework to look into his face with a smile... as usual 'tell me about mom...' green eyes flicker for a sec with a pain Sam almost miss being only seven, you don't really understand all the feelings in other people but this is Dean and his eyes will always show everything, at least for Sam, and Dean told him, how She was always warm and smelled like lilac, and the wayshe always kissed them good night and told them the angels will look after them, and Dean hides a tear and all Sam can do is hug him, then dean told him about what others think a mother is and something in Sam eyes changes in the way he looks at Dean.

that's why after he eats the breakfast Dean made for him ran to show his paper to Dad, Dean cannot see this, at first dad eyes are cold and bored, then turns into wattery pools that scare Sam even more, at the end he just holds his younger son on his lap and hug him.
**
'Now we have 2th grade Samuel Winchester, he'll read his composition 'why I have no mom'' The whole auditorium awwed and Dean sitting next to his father growled, they had no right to pity Sam... and what was this little dummy to read it in front of the whole school

'When I was six months old my mother died so I don't have a mother, all I have is dad and Dean, my older brother, he's the one who taught me the most, he explained me what a mom is and what a mom does, he said a mother is always there for you, and that she make you feel better when you're sad, she takes care of you and feed you and tug you in bed and kisses good night to you, she's always there for you when you're sick, but I don't have a mom, all I have is Dean.'
the whole room was quiet
'He's there for me, since I remember, he feeds me and take care of me, he picks me up from school and goes home with me, he's always patient even thought I'm not always good, he's there at nights when I have a nightmare and always let me get the best of everything, he even keep using old shoes so I can get new ones, he fought two kids that were bullying me and he bleed still the first thing he did was ask me if I was ok, he's brave and when monsters came he promised he'll deffend me even if they kill him'
people laughed, morons Dean thought, if they knew.. and why Sam was telling them anyways?
'Pay attention Kid, your brother worked hard on that paper for you' and his heart felt weird, what was that? so he turned to listen Sammy again
'Dean was very young when mom died too and sometimes I feel sad because, even though our dad loves us he never did for Dean what he does for me, I know that he miss mom more than I do becaue eh remembers her, and I know he wish she were with us and that this day is harder for him than it is for me, I know his friends makes fun of him for carrying me all the time, I know sometimes he's scared but he has to be brave to protect me and I think is not fair, I wish my brother had a Dean to look after him too.

that's why I'm not sad for not having a mom, because I have Dean and I never tell him this but I love him, and I want to be like him when I grow up' Sam was scared maybe this wasn't the right thing to say because most of the ladies were crying, and Dean's mouth was open while tears were rolling down his cheeks, man! he made Dean cry, he should never do this...

'Thank you' ended and the thunder of applauses made him a little afraid, came down with th esame little box all the kids on his class had for their moms and gave it to Dean, he tossed the box in his seat and held his little brother 'you liked it?' dean didn't answered, he never answered, John literally dragged his older son to this because mother's day was always hard for Dean, and he wanted to stay at home watching TV, Dad promised Sam he'll make Dean go, and after all this years, looking into his little brother while he was sleeping made Dean's heart swell, yeah maybe he's been called a mom but he loved Sammy back then as much as he loves him now

'rise and shine Sammy' turned the radio on, Asia's heat of the moment, great, Damn this Tuesday promised to be a great day
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