Guys... I'm kinda worried

[szarabasjka]

 remember when i was innocent and nive and thought this job was a good idea with a far better enviroment than the last one? I was SOOOO wrong!!

first of all there are people leaving every now and then like in any jobm the bad part is when one of the long time ones sudenly is fired in front of patients and staff.
it was so humiliating!! it was horrible.

it only results in one thing, I'm havig even more time now.

Next.

R and I kinda worked our differences before new years eve, and we're on far better good terms, in such good terms I spent my only three free hours yesterday with him just diriving around because neither of us dared to go anywhere for the risk of me falling asleep.
he's the sweetest tolerating my exhausted ass and being sweet.

and then he has to scare me shitless with his crazy ideas.

Why am I saying that? because R asked me to move in with him, we're not together for one year and he wants to live with me? me? with the hectic insane shcedule and almost zero free time? what is wrong with him??? should I mention his kid still hates me?

 

what should I do? I like him yes, but even if he has said the L word I never said it back, to me it is too soon.

I'm freaking out, I went far from where I usually run away and now I'm so out of my depth I have no idea of what to do!!

HELP!!

Comments

[phantomdaae1981]

That's concerning about your workplace. Humiliating employees is not okay :-( And I'm so sorry you're working so many hours and so exhausted now, too.

I'm really glad to hear that things have generally been better with R. It definitely sounds, though, like he's moving faster than you're comfortable with. Have you tried to tell him you want to take things a bit slower? And has his son explained what his issues are with you, because while it's normal for a kid to dislike a parent's new partner, that's definitely something that ought to be addressed before any talk of you moving in with R. I mean, R has a right to have a partner, and you and R deserve happiness, and his son should not dictate the course of that. But his son's discomfort should not be ignored, either; it should be addressed appropriately, which is 99% R's responsibility.

[szarabasjka]

I kinda ignored the mention of such subject and I'm personally a big fan of ignoring problems until they bite me in the ass...
I don't know what I did to the kid, he just acts as if we were rivals for his dad's attention, i tried to give him space, and I'm never pressing when he needs anything asking R to be with him; yet he still hates me. is not like he's neglecting his kid or anything, he even asked what was wrong when I was not supposed to hear; the kid just groaned and said nothing, and I mean.. if the kid is not ready to talk, maybe is a matter of time and he will change his opinion about me. I hope.

someone said it might be the mother's fault since she's a manipulative bitch.


about work... things changed for the better, we're trapped tehre for days to end but the enviroment changed to a far better, the balck toxic stressful cloud left with that one doctor and now we're all laughter and smiles.

it is still way too stressful and long hours but somewhat better.

[ava_marz]

Wow, glad to hear your workplace has improved so much (yes I'm a comment stalker lol) About the other thing well, as has been said before me, sounds like you're not comfortable with the idea just yet, and definitely do what feels best for you. If that's putting off moving in together, than that's the way it must be, and he should accept that. Also he needs to address his son's feelings in the situation, before any serious talk of moving in even takes place again.
I can't talk much about time frames, as the last person I lived with, we moved in after only knowing each other 6 months lol. My daughter wasn't happy with him either, but at least she admitted part of that was holding onto hope her dad and I would get back together.

[szarabasjka]

LOL yeah... the job is better, and still i see changes coming, hopefully.
I kinda think it is hard to find a place where you just feel conformtable, as if is a slot made for you? (if it makes sense at all..?)
i still miss the place where i was a resident, ven if I had options after that one job i kinda miss my hospital a lot.
I was offered a position there not long ago and I'm still not ready to go back when so many things an people had changed (the reason why I left to start with).

about R... I kinda told him it was too soon, he said: "that's fine" but it was obvious it was not *fine* and apparently since we had no time to spend together this week the kid just asked about me, good? bad? I kinda think he hopes I'll be out of the picture soon.
PS.- feel free to stalk and read comments and posts in my account.

[ava_marz]

This was so much my biggest problem in the workplace, I never found that place I felt comfortable, or like I just fit right in. Maybe cause I'm weird LOL or at least it just feels that way sometimes XD.
Ah, yeah I can understand why you would be hesitant to go back, you miss it, but it sounds like it's changed a whole lot since you were there last, and maybe it won't be anything like it used to be and that would ruin the memories you did have?

As for R, hm... I know sometimes guys can get a bit pouty when they have an idea, or take the risk of asking to move the relationship ahead a step, and get turned down, but I think he will see that you're right, and you should wait once he's had a chance to think about it.
The kid asking about you though, I wonder maybe if that's him noticing you're not around, and seeing R missing you? Sometimes kids can be surprisingly perceptive o.o
PS. LOL I'm so bad for doing that, I'll poke around at everything to try and keep up with people XD

[szarabasjka]

LOL happens that the kid asking about me was fr the sweetest reason, R says he mentioned me and said "he smiles more when I'm around"
I know it's like LJ 2005 version but i like its simplicity.
About the job things happened and my life is better and far worst...
I'm kinda getting used to it which scares me