statement

[szarabasjka]

Dear you:
yes you, the one who made me stop my life almost two years ago, you who were the reason of my smiles and my appreciation, you who's eyes were the light of my path, you who's scars hurt in my soul too. You who carried my wounds and helped me to heal.

You who I admired more than anything else, you who carved a giant space in my heart to live in and then left it empty way too early.

I still miss you, I do, I still wish I could turn to my left and see your pretty smile, the joy of your laughter, the true of your tears.

I still want to feel that skin, and the strength that your words gave me, I want to have the example of your actions, knowing deep inside that hoping and wishing and wanting is not gonna bring you back.

You, my dear, you who left and paralyzed my life for almost two years, I still remember the second I saw those powerful fire-like eyes, the second I felt your courage, the second when you sent thrills down my spine just being there. The second you broke my spirit by leaving, The second I understood I'll never again see you.

I remember you, I'll never forget you, and there's a place in my heart for you, my angel, if you ever come back; but no longer gonna let you rule my life, no longer I'll be tazzed in place by the pain of the loss; I might have let your absence make me wander away from the path, but even grief should have an expiration date, wish you could Be Here Now, but since its imposible, I'll carry you with me all the time, I'll carry you in my success and my fails, I'll carry you in joy and in Sorrow, but moving on, not from you, but from the emptiness you left.

This is not a good bye, this is not a farewell; this is a statement of strength and eternal love.

I love you and I miss you, but I can't keep mourning you letting my life pass while I'm still sitting here depressed and alone.
This is for you to be proud of me, because I love you and I know it'll make you sad if I let things go because I feel too small without you.

You'll see, from your place up with the others, how I change, how I become more, bigger, stronger, better, for you, to make you proud, to be good enough to see you again when the time comes.

you'll be always in my prayers and my mind, you'll always be here with me, but let me go.

- Kali

Comments

[phantomdaae1981.livejournal.com]

I don't know the situation and person to whom you're writing, but I wanted to let you know this was beautiful to read. Very thoughtful, intense, and evocative.

[szarabasjka.livejournal.com]

Oh! thank you!
it's for someone who passed away back in 2012, I still struggle with depression after he left, but things are better.
Thanks for commenting, I wasn't even aware it's public!
good thing, I guess, since you liked it.