You'd know
Jan. 10th, 2011 09:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
szarabasjkaanother messy drabble that will need categorizing latter
It was late night, very late, he was married now, I was there, I knew it, and still couldn't breath, the person sleeping in my bed was completelly unaware of me up, of my tears, of me don't wanting the presence there or the last few hours to be real, not aware of my pain.
There should be a law, that clearly force people you slept with by mistake to disapear when you wake up...
The time passed, and the next time I sat there was when the first baby arrived, long since we stoped seeing each other in regular basis.
By then I had someone too, a different someone from the first time I sat there crying over something I couldn't stop at the time, I tried, first the darka hair and puffy lips, then the tall one, then someone else, now, now I had a shadow behind, supporting my back
"its because of him right? because he's not here..." I shook no, asked him to go back to sleep
"I can't, I couldn't sleep if you're not okay..." and pulled me back "come here" held me and didn't tried to understand, he just let me cry, allowed me the time to get myself together before kissing my forehead whispering that he was sorry, and that he'd be there for me.
And I understood, you might not be with the one person you thought belongs to you, you have to be with the ONE person that you HAVE to be with, and I'm here where I belong, because in this arms I forgot the selfishness of someone else, to hell with hazel eyes, wavy hair, to hell with his height and his smile.
I understood there being held against a heartbeat that if you love someone you can't be unaware of the things that happens to that person, he, the one I miss, he used to sleep soundless when I was worried, he never knew if I was sick, he never caught my lies, why I lied to him for a start?
if you love someone you cannot sleep without that person in your bed, you know if the person is upset, you know if your partner loves you. and surely you'd know if that perosn is crying, now, held against this chest, I understood everything, if you'd love someone you'd know...
It was late night, very late, he was married now, I was there, I knew it, and still couldn't breath, the person sleeping in my bed was completelly unaware of me up, of my tears, of me don't wanting the presence there or the last few hours to be real, not aware of my pain.
There should be a law, that clearly force people you slept with by mistake to disapear when you wake up...
The time passed, and the next time I sat there was when the first baby arrived, long since we stoped seeing each other in regular basis.
By then I had someone too, a different someone from the first time I sat there crying over something I couldn't stop at the time, I tried, first the darka hair and puffy lips, then the tall one, then someone else, now, now I had a shadow behind, supporting my back
"its because of him right? because he's not here..." I shook no, asked him to go back to sleep
"I can't, I couldn't sleep if you're not okay..." and pulled me back "come here" held me and didn't tried to understand, he just let me cry, allowed me the time to get myself together before kissing my forehead whispering that he was sorry, and that he'd be there for me.
And I understood, you might not be with the one person you thought belongs to you, you have to be with the ONE person that you HAVE to be with, and I'm here where I belong, because in this arms I forgot the selfishness of someone else, to hell with hazel eyes, wavy hair, to hell with his height and his smile.
I understood there being held against a heartbeat that if you love someone you can't be unaware of the things that happens to that person, he, the one I miss, he used to sleep soundless when I was worried, he never knew if I was sick, he never caught my lies, why I lied to him for a start?
if you love someone you cannot sleep without that person in your bed, you know if the person is upset, you know if your partner loves you. and surely you'd know if that perosn is crying, now, held against this chest, I understood everything, if you'd love someone you'd know...
