InsanityXIb
Sep. 4th, 2010 06:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
szarabasjkaTittle :Insanity
Rating: PG, this one as pretty much everything else...
Gender: Drama *actually created from one idea and one Prince Charming moment from a friend/boyfriend/guy I'm dating
Characters: AU, characters created thinking on actors and real people..
Sumary: It scared me at first, it scared me shitless to think on this, on US, when there's always being only me, it was just me, scared little thing, scared little thing full of obligations that will never be free to do whatever I feel like. Lets go earlier than that, to get even closer to this...
chapterXIa
Daniel made everything easier for the rest of the month, specially since she'd be at hospital every day next year, and it meant she'd have lots more to deal with, Naia was already packing, Lim was safe and secure back at school and parents, mom was fine, was doing great to be exact, she had enough sense in her to try to get along with dad, Peggy got to stay at her apartment more often, not to mention that there was a second reason for it, at the apartment, at campus, at the coffee shop, at the other end of her life, was Mathew, he was everything, once in his arms she felt safe and secure, she had no reason to be strong all the time or to be in charge, with him she just let go, they went to the harbour one night and he forced her to get on the merry-go-aroud, made her dance on a kiosk, made her ride a bike, never in her life she did that before, when her friends had time for bikes she was busy taking care of the girls.
Mathew was very understanding about her appointments and never asked for an explanation, until one day at the coffee shop, she was waiting for Lim, they'd meet there to go home together when the door opened and a heavily pregnant girl entered followed by him, the one we call John, he turned to the counter and smiled and waved at her, Peggy swallowed hard, turned desperated where was Mathew? the guy started walking to her, what if Mathew heard?
'Hi Pegs' and sat, Milly waiting few steps behind 'I wanted to talk to you...'
'there's nothing to say' she answered cold and severe trying to move away
'there is, I'm gonna be a dad pegs, I need to clear things up'
'you were about to be a dad before...' it was one of the things that could've made her cry but it's was Peggy we're talking about, she never cries 'think it was for the best' tried to got up 'you'd be a terrible dad, I'm not sure about hers thou' looking to the girl behind 'you have what you deserve and I...'
'you have your family?' said sarcastic, Mathew came from nowhere and wraped his arm around Peggy's waist kissing her hair
'yes, she has me now, why?' and to her 'our girl is waiting' she didn't meant to do it, she just leant on him and the smile came out from nowhere. they moved to the office where Lim was waiting but on the hall he stoped to make her turn 'he was about to be a dad before?' and her facade broke, nodded and started crying 'hey!' held her close while she whispered 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' wanted to protect her from everything, and everyone that ever hurted her, she was so soft and so vulnerable 'hey, love, you have nothing to sorry, I know I wasn't the first, I just want to be the last, okay?' she frowned 'lets clean your face, Lim is waiting...' his thimb were passing over her face already, she moved closer and kissed him, desperated, wanting to be part of that strenght, the wisdom, the calm.
What she doesn't know is that he knows how it feels like, to be alone, to feel like nobody cares, still since he doesn't know what is like for her, what is that that
keeps her busy and sad, he can't tell her. By the time she entered the office she felt fine, and Lim never suspected something was wrong.
not long after that he had to go to see his parents, his dad had surgery and the family needed him, he explained her where they were, told her about his sister and his brother, he told her about everything, she heard and tried hard not to say her own story, because... what if he leaves like th eone before? he used to say he'll do anything for her too, Mathew called her at the hospital, to let her know he went to the apartment, needed some stuff he had there and every time he mentioned he'd be gone for a week she started crying and he couldn't help himself.
Mom had a run to ER that week, she broke a vase and cut her arm, the doctor thought it could be a suicide attempt and decided to have her over night, and that night Lim and Naia stayed with Pegaiai, three worried girls, at midnight Peggy woke up with a knock on her door, was Naia 'Peg, can I sleep with you?' and she scooted over giving her sister some room on the bed 'bad dreams?' asked knwingly 'yeah.. I saw her over the craddle' and Peggy held her 'don't worry I'm here like then...' not two minutes latter another knock, was Lim 'I went first to Naia's but her room was empty... I didn't want to bother you...' and the three of them slept together thst night. the following week, when Mathew came back she stayed every night downtown.
when Mom was released and was, as strange as it is, feeling fine, even dad was acting fine, maybe because the girls were there, they even invited few people for easter, among those invited were Hugh, and Lim's new boyfriend, a guy called Jerry, and Mathew, Peggy was nervous,the girls knew him but what about her parents?
'please don't take them serious, they're just... special...' he smiled
'special as in brain damage special?' she was serious 'lighten up sweetheart, I'm fine, we'll be fine...' and made a movement to be sure that he had something in his pocket.
'while we're there, please don't use pet names, use my given name only, please don't kiss me, they should not see any demonstation of love, okay?'
'are they mormons?' said laughing, but Peggy just sighed worried, seeing once again that she'll be left alone when he get to know where she came from. During the dinner everything went well, even if her mother ignored matthew, after that while she was taking care of something her dad pulled him aside, and after a moment started laughing hard scaring Peggy a little bit, she moved closer to a blushing Mathew 'what did he said?' she was scared, did he scared him away? 'nothing, I think he believe I'm not serious' but was obviously crossed 'please... he's um... he's...' and Mathew held her hand 'an ass? yeah he is...' she chuckled.
After everybody else were gone and they were finishing with the katering, dad started screaming, and mom started screaming too, Mathew saw how peggy ended up in the middle of everything, how she ended up being the bad one, the one her mother accused of being a bitch and his father yelled at what a terrible daughter was. he got quiet and saw how humilliated she felt noticing him near the door, on their way back home she was quiet and distant 'so... ' started out of nowhere 'what do you think?' he smiled distant, and turned away
'they're interesting...' and noticing her biting her lips 'hey... you're not what they said, you're amazing' and she smiled 'that's better'
Once at the apartment, he suddenly felt his troath dry and was slightly shaking, but he made his mind and after the week he spent away from her he've decided to do it, once she left the car he held her hand and kissed her 'there's one thing I want to ask... ask you' licked his lips, Peggy tensed 'what? did my father said sometihng wrong?' Mathew breathed hard 'um.. no, its ... Pegaiai, I love you' she smiled 'I love you too, but...'
'let me finish' he said and took the small box from his pocket 'I love you and I'm sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you... do you...' opened the box 'would you marry me?' Peggy choked...
Really, as in choked! not the romantic way of speaking, where the girl cries and chokes sobs and says yes, but she choked, started coughing and turned red faced and moved away from him, took her several minutes to recover, they went into the apartment and he gave her some water, she was embarrassed 'I bet that's not what you had planned' joked while they were getting ready for bed, still he said nothing 'Mattie...?' said once they turned the lights off and he turned in bed to hold her 'I'm not saying no, I'm... I wish... I...' sighed 'you know them now but there's so much more you still don't know...' he hummed 'is that okay if I let you know more about them and then you decide if your offer is still on?' he pulled closer 'It'll be on no matter what, do you hear me?' and kissed her hair 'its just...' it was the first time she kept talking, usually was the one who got quiet first 'before you... before you I had... I once got pregnant and... the baby... was... I couldn't, my body, I couldn't protect it, I lost him and...' she had to explain how she was fine until his mother,the mother of the one we call John had to know, how before facing her she told the other one, the so-called John about her family, mom and her problems, dad and the rest, and how he freaked out and left, how she fell on the stair after their fight, and how he ignored her on the floor, in pain and bleeding 'I'm not sure...' he covered her mouth with his hand and wrapped himself around her 'did it hurt you? when they got him off?' she shook no, he felt the movement 'I don't care about anything else, you're fine, I'm here and no matter what, I'm here for you and with you for ever more okay?' she kissed him 'It scared me at first, I'm scared Mathew...'and moved to touch his face, caressed his jaw 'I used to have my priorities in order until you came into my life... now... now I wish I could be selfish again...'and kissed him again 'think... I... we need to talk a little more...' he snorted 'you want to talk?' teased and felt the warm of her blush 'I don't care, all I want is you to be sure, then when I'll get to see you walking down the aisle, when I get to make you mine... I won't let anybody else ever hurt you, I promise' kissed her face, and covered her mouth with two fingers 'now please lets sleep, don't worry I'm not going anywhere and I'm not letting you go either' tightened his embrace and sighed.
And she believed him, but her brain was working already, he'd change his mind for sure, told herself, with all the baggage... he'd freak out, she feared her brain were right, after less than a year she couldn't imagine her life without those eyes on her, without those arms around her, without his voice telling her everything will be fine. he changed her life and there was no way back, the mere idea of it made her eyes burn and her heart ache, and Damn Peggy was scared.
ChapterXII
Rating: PG, this one as pretty much everything else...
Gender: Drama *actually created from one idea and one Prince Charming moment from a friend/boyfriend/guy I'm dating
Characters: AU, characters created thinking on actors and real people..
Sumary: It scared me at first, it scared me shitless to think on this, on US, when there's always being only me, it was just me, scared little thing, scared little thing full of obligations that will never be free to do whatever I feel like. Lets go earlier than that, to get even closer to this...
chapterXIa
Daniel made everything easier for the rest of the month, specially since she'd be at hospital every day next year, and it meant she'd have lots more to deal with, Naia was already packing, Lim was safe and secure back at school and parents, mom was fine, was doing great to be exact, she had enough sense in her to try to get along with dad, Peggy got to stay at her apartment more often, not to mention that there was a second reason for it, at the apartment, at campus, at the coffee shop, at the other end of her life, was Mathew, he was everything, once in his arms she felt safe and secure, she had no reason to be strong all the time or to be in charge, with him she just let go, they went to the harbour one night and he forced her to get on the merry-go-aroud, made her dance on a kiosk, made her ride a bike, never in her life she did that before, when her friends had time for bikes she was busy taking care of the girls.
Mathew was very understanding about her appointments and never asked for an explanation, until one day at the coffee shop, she was waiting for Lim, they'd meet there to go home together when the door opened and a heavily pregnant girl entered followed by him, the one we call John, he turned to the counter and smiled and waved at her, Peggy swallowed hard, turned desperated where was Mathew? the guy started walking to her, what if Mathew heard?
'Hi Pegs' and sat, Milly waiting few steps behind 'I wanted to talk to you...'
'there's nothing to say' she answered cold and severe trying to move away
'there is, I'm gonna be a dad pegs, I need to clear things up'
'you were about to be a dad before...' it was one of the things that could've made her cry but it's was Peggy we're talking about, she never cries 'think it was for the best' tried to got up 'you'd be a terrible dad, I'm not sure about hers thou' looking to the girl behind 'you have what you deserve and I...'
'you have your family?' said sarcastic, Mathew came from nowhere and wraped his arm around Peggy's waist kissing her hair
'yes, she has me now, why?' and to her 'our girl is waiting' she didn't meant to do it, she just leant on him and the smile came out from nowhere. they moved to the office where Lim was waiting but on the hall he stoped to make her turn 'he was about to be a dad before?' and her facade broke, nodded and started crying 'hey!' held her close while she whispered 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry' wanted to protect her from everything, and everyone that ever hurted her, she was so soft and so vulnerable 'hey, love, you have nothing to sorry, I know I wasn't the first, I just want to be the last, okay?' she frowned 'lets clean your face, Lim is waiting...' his thimb were passing over her face already, she moved closer and kissed him, desperated, wanting to be part of that strenght, the wisdom, the calm.
What she doesn't know is that he knows how it feels like, to be alone, to feel like nobody cares, still since he doesn't know what is like for her, what is that that
keeps her busy and sad, he can't tell her. By the time she entered the office she felt fine, and Lim never suspected something was wrong.
not long after that he had to go to see his parents, his dad had surgery and the family needed him, he explained her where they were, told her about his sister and his brother, he told her about everything, she heard and tried hard not to say her own story, because... what if he leaves like th eone before? he used to say he'll do anything for her too, Mathew called her at the hospital, to let her know he went to the apartment, needed some stuff he had there and every time he mentioned he'd be gone for a week she started crying and he couldn't help himself.
Mom had a run to ER that week, she broke a vase and cut her arm, the doctor thought it could be a suicide attempt and decided to have her over night, and that night Lim and Naia stayed with Pegaiai, three worried girls, at midnight Peggy woke up with a knock on her door, was Naia 'Peg, can I sleep with you?' and she scooted over giving her sister some room on the bed 'bad dreams?' asked knwingly 'yeah.. I saw her over the craddle' and Peggy held her 'don't worry I'm here like then...' not two minutes latter another knock, was Lim 'I went first to Naia's but her room was empty... I didn't want to bother you...' and the three of them slept together thst night. the following week, when Mathew came back she stayed every night downtown.
when Mom was released and was, as strange as it is, feeling fine, even dad was acting fine, maybe because the girls were there, they even invited few people for easter, among those invited were Hugh, and Lim's new boyfriend, a guy called Jerry, and Mathew, Peggy was nervous,the girls knew him but what about her parents?
'please don't take them serious, they're just... special...' he smiled
'special as in brain damage special?' she was serious 'lighten up sweetheart, I'm fine, we'll be fine...' and made a movement to be sure that he had something in his pocket.
'while we're there, please don't use pet names, use my given name only, please don't kiss me, they should not see any demonstation of love, okay?'
'are they mormons?' said laughing, but Peggy just sighed worried, seeing once again that she'll be left alone when he get to know where she came from. During the dinner everything went well, even if her mother ignored matthew, after that while she was taking care of something her dad pulled him aside, and after a moment started laughing hard scaring Peggy a little bit, she moved closer to a blushing Mathew 'what did he said?' she was scared, did he scared him away? 'nothing, I think he believe I'm not serious' but was obviously crossed 'please... he's um... he's...' and Mathew held her hand 'an ass? yeah he is...' she chuckled.
After everybody else were gone and they were finishing with the katering, dad started screaming, and mom started screaming too, Mathew saw how peggy ended up in the middle of everything, how she ended up being the bad one, the one her mother accused of being a bitch and his father yelled at what a terrible daughter was. he got quiet and saw how humilliated she felt noticing him near the door, on their way back home she was quiet and distant 'so... ' started out of nowhere 'what do you think?' he smiled distant, and turned away
'they're interesting...' and noticing her biting her lips 'hey... you're not what they said, you're amazing' and she smiled 'that's better'
Once at the apartment, he suddenly felt his troath dry and was slightly shaking, but he made his mind and after the week he spent away from her he've decided to do it, once she left the car he held her hand and kissed her 'there's one thing I want to ask... ask you' licked his lips, Peggy tensed 'what? did my father said sometihng wrong?' Mathew breathed hard 'um.. no, its ... Pegaiai, I love you' she smiled 'I love you too, but...'
'let me finish' he said and took the small box from his pocket 'I love you and I'm sure I want to spend the rest of my life with you... do you...' opened the box 'would you marry me?' Peggy choked...
Really, as in choked! not the romantic way of speaking, where the girl cries and chokes sobs and says yes, but she choked, started coughing and turned red faced and moved away from him, took her several minutes to recover, they went into the apartment and he gave her some water, she was embarrassed 'I bet that's not what you had planned' joked while they were getting ready for bed, still he said nothing 'Mattie...?' said once they turned the lights off and he turned in bed to hold her 'I'm not saying no, I'm... I wish... I...' sighed 'you know them now but there's so much more you still don't know...' he hummed 'is that okay if I let you know more about them and then you decide if your offer is still on?' he pulled closer 'It'll be on no matter what, do you hear me?' and kissed her hair 'its just...' it was the first time she kept talking, usually was the one who got quiet first 'before you... before you I had... I once got pregnant and... the baby... was... I couldn't, my body, I couldn't protect it, I lost him and...' she had to explain how she was fine until his mother,the mother of the one we call John had to know, how before facing her she told the other one, the so-called John about her family, mom and her problems, dad and the rest, and how he freaked out and left, how she fell on the stair after their fight, and how he ignored her on the floor, in pain and bleeding 'I'm not sure...' he covered her mouth with his hand and wrapped himself around her 'did it hurt you? when they got him off?' she shook no, he felt the movement 'I don't care about anything else, you're fine, I'm here and no matter what, I'm here for you and with you for ever more okay?' she kissed him 'It scared me at first, I'm scared Mathew...'and moved to touch his face, caressed his jaw 'I used to have my priorities in order until you came into my life... now... now I wish I could be selfish again...'and kissed him again 'think... I... we need to talk a little more...' he snorted 'you want to talk?' teased and felt the warm of her blush 'I don't care, all I want is you to be sure, then when I'll get to see you walking down the aisle, when I get to make you mine... I won't let anybody else ever hurt you, I promise' kissed her face, and covered her mouth with two fingers 'now please lets sleep, don't worry I'm not going anywhere and I'm not letting you go either' tightened his embrace and sighed.
And she believed him, but her brain was working already, he'd change his mind for sure, told herself, with all the baggage... he'd freak out, she feared her brain were right, after less than a year she couldn't imagine her life without those eyes on her, without those arms around her, without his voice telling her everything will be fine. he changed her life and there was no way back, the mere idea of it made her eyes burn and her heart ache, and Damn Peggy was scared.
ChapterXII
