So close

*personal rant again*
So... many of you must know about my loss right? I lost a friend last year, a guy who was the soul and heart of me, he was never a bf, he was not a person I'd say I love in a romantic way or a relative, he was so much more, he was my reasn to believe.

he made me understand that pretty doesn't always means dumb, or hollow, or that smart doesn't mean no pretty.
he made me understand that you have to fight for everything, even knowing you've lost before you start, given the chance? you have to fight. for your own self-respect and for those who would find it inspiring.
That was him, my spirit, and he's gone.
last night for first time I could get to see where he was supposed to be, I sat there looking into the faces of those who once were with him and no longer remember him, and it hurt.
I was sitting right in front of where he sould've been and I felt him so close I could've reached my hand and touch his skinonce more, I could've hear his laugh, smell that freaking perfum I sweared to him hated but I miss, just so close, I could have hugged him if he by any chance coudl be there with me.
I miss my angel, I want him back

when you're gone, all the colors fade
when you're gone no new years' day parade
when you're gone, colors seems to fade...