Stitches

'its just some stitches Sammy you can do it yourself' repeated John exasperated by his younger son once more 'It'll hurt a little but you have to learn how to do it yourself' still nothing 'come on, you've seen Dean a million times' finally an answer, tears... Oh boyhe thought and got close 'ok, I'll do it for you, but you have to practice ok?' after less than ten minutes Sam had a bandage and was ok.
it wasn't the first time.
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'hurry up' said John while trying to stop the bleeding from his brow 'Dean and James are alone..' had Sammy bleeding a cut on his leg 'do it fast' said while patching himself and leaving 'follow the trail, if you see something, shot first ask latter ok?' and left, Sam couldn't do it, still too affraid to stitch his flesh alone, out of nowhere Dean appeared and held the porta for him stitched him up, very quiet and serious
'you ok?' asked Sam, green eyes turned to him and he saw fear, FEAR in Dean's eyes

'James is dead...' said and sighed,it was the firs time they saw something like that, dean just steps away from the man before he died 'you really need to get this done by yourself Sammy...' moved away and started packing the guns while Sam covered his stitches, Dasd came around serious and tired, saw the stitches and smiled wearyly
'good job kid' ruffled his har with a bloody hand and moved away, Dean got close again taking the bandage from his brother 'promise me Sammy, you'll learn to do this yourself...'

'I don't want to...' Dean sighed and held his hand

'promise me you'll learn...' Big hazel eyes on him 'James had a wife, she died two days ago, and he didn't know how to take care of this... what if...' swallowed hard 'what if something happens to me? I don't want you to be helpless Sammy, you have to learn, just...'

'what's gonna happen to you? are you ok?' Dean smiled and covered the wound

'nothing, not right now... but... one day...' shook his head 'that's the first hunter I saw dead, they... we...' young eyes suddenly aged in front of his brother 'we're not invincible, if I die...' snorted 'just... ' shook his head again like getting rid of bad memories 'just learn ok?' dad was getting close again

'you see? is not that hard, is it?' asked with another smile for Sam, turned to Dean 'you ok champ?' Dean nodded faking a smile 'good, we're leaving pick everything up while I... I'll take care of...'

'James...' murmured Dean, his father sighed and nodded and left holding a gas can.

'we'll get ice cream if you want some' said from the darkness, they packed everything up and waited in the car for their father, when the red flame iluminated everything Sam thought he've seen tears in Dean eyes, Nahh! it was Dean, he never cries

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after that wednesday, Sam learned few things, for a start he learned that it was good that he finally got to stitch himself up, and remembered the 'if I die...' he learned just like he wanted and he did a damn good job considering the endless tears from his eyes,left alone... was what he tought, left alone, almost 20 years ago he warned this would happen but still hurt the same.

even with the pain and the cold and the fear the only thing he could remember is Dean's concern, not wanting to leave him alone. now he missed his Dean more than anything else from his real or his once perfect normal life.