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So as much as I bitched about going out with a guy I shouldn't date at all I have to mention an event from last week.
I didn't mention it earlier because it was still not clear in my head, and it left me all jumpy and weird.
Why? because after having a stalker for years something like this SHOULDN'T happento me, I'm supposed to be smarter!
And it had me wondering how others deal with this or worst!? I've seen victims but never really faced this.
okay so lets start... last friday the guy I'm seeing, -not Hugh- asked me out, saying that we had to clear out our make out session. since I don't want him thinking I'm a toy I accepted and met him, we were on the street and talking about personal matters when he looked around and said "we should get out of the street to talk about something like this... what if someone listen?"
it made sense so I accepted. right? why should I not trust someone I used to see every other day at work?
it was okay until we got where he took me, it was his apartment and Me, stupid me, didn't see anything wrong with it, just a place. I wasn't expecting anything bad.
as soon as I passed the door he pushed me againt the wall and kissed me and I rolled my eyes thinking how cliché that was.
he kept kissing me and tugging at the sleeves of my shirt, and fumbling with something else when I didn't take the hint and my shirt was still on, he moved back and I saw him taking out his shirt, his pants already half way down his legs.
I scoffed and turned around trying to leave but the door was locked anf there was no key in sight.
I turned to him and he was naked, he held me by my shirt and tossed me to the couch, I was ready and pushed him off when he got near me, but he pinned me down holding my arms over my head with only one hand and once more got my shirt and pulled. he said somerthing that really chilled my blood. "take this off, or it would rip." and it really made me realize what was happening, he pulled my pants so hard they opened and the zipper broke and and he could put his hand in my crotch and my labia.
That's when I reacted finally, I kicked and thrashed while he tried to hold my legs down and pry them apart, the second he let go of my hands, my right hand flew to his throat and pressed hard, until he was coughing, he tried to move away and I finally could bend my knees and press my feet to his chest kicking him off of me. he once more tried to get on top and I held him on an arm barr and turned him around ending with me on top.
I told him something of the sort of "I decide if things happen", "I say if you're allowed to touch me" or "I'll kick your ass if you touch me" not sure.
he tried to hold me again but I just sent him tumbling backwards again. asked me to stay and talk but I said no, even if I wanted to, I wanted him to try something when I was ready to fight, so I could kick him black and blue and call the police on his rapist fucking ass!
I got up and moved to his pants to get the keys, opened the door and went out, took his car and drove home. I guess he came searching for his freaking car because is not on my driveway anymore... it was gone by saturday.
He asked me to talk while I was leaving, maybe is a good thing I didn't stay.
As a result I still have a huge bruise on my right boob and my arms ahve smaller ones, and I'm all sore, seriously, it takes a lot to kick a 6 ft. tall guy's ass around. and what i've heard he has a giant bruise on his throat and had no voice for a couple days.
My point is not even the violence, because as far as I know this is sexual violence, right? I am fine and he suffered more damage than I did, what worries me Is: what would have happened if I were like other girls!!??
what if I weren't trained in self defense for like 20 years now, what if I were like my friends who pannick at the smallest raise of voice of sign of physical violence?
What if instead of an overweight, muscled fighter, I were the size 0 wannabe girl most girls are nowawdays?
how could any of them fight a guy who tries this on them?
It scares me to think that this could have ended in a very different way if I were someone else.
I didn't mention it earlier because it was still not clear in my head, and it left me all jumpy and weird.
Why? because after having a stalker for years something like this SHOULDN'T happento me, I'm supposed to be smarter!
And it had me wondering how others deal with this or worst!? I've seen victims but never really faced this.
okay so lets start... last friday the guy I'm seeing, -not Hugh- asked me out, saying that we had to clear out our make out session. since I don't want him thinking I'm a toy I accepted and met him, we were on the street and talking about personal matters when he looked around and said "we should get out of the street to talk about something like this... what if someone listen?"
it made sense so I accepted. right? why should I not trust someone I used to see every other day at work?
it was okay until we got where he took me, it was his apartment and Me, stupid me, didn't see anything wrong with it, just a place. I wasn't expecting anything bad.
as soon as I passed the door he pushed me againt the wall and kissed me and I rolled my eyes thinking how cliché that was.
he kept kissing me and tugging at the sleeves of my shirt, and fumbling with something else when I didn't take the hint and my shirt was still on, he moved back and I saw him taking out his shirt, his pants already half way down his legs.
I scoffed and turned around trying to leave but the door was locked anf there was no key in sight.
I turned to him and he was naked, he held me by my shirt and tossed me to the couch, I was ready and pushed him off when he got near me, but he pinned me down holding my arms over my head with only one hand and once more got my shirt and pulled. he said somerthing that really chilled my blood. "take this off, or it would rip." and it really made me realize what was happening, he pulled my pants so hard they opened and the zipper broke and and he could put his hand in my crotch and my labia.
That's when I reacted finally, I kicked and thrashed while he tried to hold my legs down and pry them apart, the second he let go of my hands, my right hand flew to his throat and pressed hard, until he was coughing, he tried to move away and I finally could bend my knees and press my feet to his chest kicking him off of me. he once more tried to get on top and I held him on an arm barr and turned him around ending with me on top.
I told him something of the sort of "I decide if things happen", "I say if you're allowed to touch me" or "I'll kick your ass if you touch me" not sure.
he tried to hold me again but I just sent him tumbling backwards again. asked me to stay and talk but I said no, even if I wanted to, I wanted him to try something when I was ready to fight, so I could kick him black and blue and call the police on his rapist fucking ass!
I got up and moved to his pants to get the keys, opened the door and went out, took his car and drove home. I guess he came searching for his freaking car because is not on my driveway anymore... it was gone by saturday.
He asked me to talk while I was leaving, maybe is a good thing I didn't stay.
As a result I still have a huge bruise on my right boob and my arms ahve smaller ones, and I'm all sore, seriously, it takes a lot to kick a 6 ft. tall guy's ass around. and what i've heard he has a giant bruise on his throat and had no voice for a couple days.
My point is not even the violence, because as far as I know this is sexual violence, right? I am fine and he suffered more damage than I did, what worries me Is: what would have happened if I were like other girls!!??
what if I weren't trained in self defense for like 20 years now, what if I were like my friends who pannick at the smallest raise of voice of sign of physical violence?
What if instead of an overweight, muscled fighter, I were the size 0 wannabe girl most girls are nowawdays?
how could any of them fight a guy who tries this on them?
It scares me to think that this could have ended in a very different way if I were someone else.
