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When I was your man
Feb. 24th, 2012 08:19 amTittle: When I was your man
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: h/c
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, mentions of others.
rathed; G
Spoilers: Yes, some
Summary: They have lost people, they've lost someone they love, and both miss what they had for a little while.
A/N: I use to think in the weirdest things while preparing for stress
***
It is supposed that we have one or two chances of real love in our lives right? for this two it weas true, each one had two chances,
for the first, the first woman he loved, thought he was insane and asked him to leave, it broke his heart and made him give up on everything. The second Heaven gave him, maybe to broke him a little bit more, he had to left and everything he loved of her world, to keep her safe.
The second met the love of his life, but she was killed, and heaven gave him a second chance, maybe just to mock him, the second was taken away from him aswell. to protect her, and to bring her back to her old life, where SHE wasn't broken.
***
Dean remembers that blouse, it used to be her fancy bluse, light blue with the darker thingies, he remembers the first time she wore it, a saturday, Ben was at a friend's house for the night and he arrived from work. they had fun that fternoon, right next to his baby.
he remembers before, when he was stupidly young and she was jus tthis side of older than him, and every times a smile flashes on his face, those are one fo his best memories, only his because he's the only one who remembers.
He remembers those days, because he had that little bit of normal, he remembers the first time they went out, they laughed and kissed and got lost on a park and then, he held her while they saw fireworks.
yeah, they met in the craziest circumstances, yeah... but that does not mean she'd have to be less important. he remembers her arms aroud him when he was alone, and now he misses it, he needs her.
***
Sam was standing outside the window, this time being really carefull, this time there's no fear.
he remembers the couch, it was THEIR place, he remembers because the one time they fell asleep on it, just holding each other, his nose burried on her hair and her hand over his heart, exactly on his tattoo.
He remembers that time for what they told each other, he was lost, he was done, and when he felt so lonely she was there for him, When he had nothing she was there for him, he was broken and she was broken, and once again Sam had someone with him.
***
During his entire life Dean Winchester gave things up, It started when Dad lewft, buit he was back and then when Mom and Dad brought the baby home, he missed his om the three days she was away but now she was busy with the baby. Thinking back, Dean feels weird and sad because he was jealous, and those few months were all the time Sam had Mom. He gave up time, he gave up he friends, his house, space, toys, even sleep and food, he gaveup part of his life for Sammy and the one he loved too.
Giving Up on Lisa? was harder. The life she had Ben and the house, he misses the restaurant where they used to go, the teasing from Ben, he misses. Giving up on her for his brother, maybe but for the empty soulless version of him? it hurt.
he used to get up early, and make her breakfast, used to come home as soon as posible, to be with them, used to go to the movies with Ben, just the boys of the house.
Now? looking inside the house by a glass distorting everything, it almost can imagine he's the on on the table with them.
***
During his entire life Sam had somebody, sometimes, in the middle of the night or when he had one too many drinks he can imagine is because he was compensating for Mom, he always had someone, first Dean and Dad and once he left, at first he didn't had calls, but Bobby, and Missouri and Jim called, always asking if he was okay, if he needed something, how he was in rent.
Then Deanstarted calling, and leaving messages, always so infuriatingly normal, as if they were talking daily.
That's why he was so lost, so broken when he ended up alone on that lab, he should have to go around looking for him, but he thought Dean will be back, he came back before, so he just sat and waited, waited until every hint of hope was gone. That's why he stayed in one place, that's why he met her, because he was waiting for his brother.
And hecame back, right in time, when his world once more was falling apart. Amelia decided for Don and he had a call from Dean and thouht things will be allright now.
The guilt? the pain he made him feel, he never expected them. Maybe he deserves them, maybe this is all he'd ever have. he's so lost even with his brother back, he barely sleeps, doesn't want to eat, Sam had to hide in the bathroom and cry, please don't tell anyone about that.
***
Dean lost Benny and missed Castiel, his brother wasn't honest with him, he asked for few days on his own and went to see them, he knows they don't remember him, he knows he was never there. he's not the kind that will cry, NO, dean Winchester has no time for that, instead he just stays awake, feeling guilty and feeling tired, and sometimes, at night he wishes he could put a gun in his mouth and.... But he has to carry on right?
He sees the guy, tall, almost blonde sitting on his place, laughing, even if neither Ben or Lisa joins him, he knows that face, she's not amused, but she's not angry either, preocupate, that's it, she's always like that when work is not okay, he should be making her smile, she neds to laugh before she gets too worked up by worry.
Ben is bigger, almost full grown now, and a little chubbier than he remembers, and is good, that means he's safe, his features are different now, no longer Ben looks like him, it used to make people wonder, used to make him wonder.
He hopes the guy gets along with him, hopes he plays video games with him, hopes he have the time to talk, about htings, about life and girls.
Dean standing in that window,hopes the tall almost blonde guy gets the memo... Lisa is getting pissed, hopes the guy could hold her and smile to her and tell her everything will be alright. that's what she needs, he knows. Hopes he could take her to dane and to watch stupid fireworks in the park.
Hopes, stupidly that he could go inside and hopes one day he can come back to them, but that's just wishful thinking.
Ben's eyes found Dean's and they all turn, by the time the guy is out Dean is already half way to his baby.
***
Sam can't even remember how he got there, the second Dean left he just took off aswell, he's still coughing blood and feels worst and worst, and he needs to see her, because dean is not being honest, and is not giving him a second of peace.
he's standing on her flowerbed, looking inside the house, there on his couch, Don is watching TV not even looking at her, Amelia is reading on the other end. he is begging, wishing he could move, he should move and touch her, distract her, she's worried, Sam knows by the way she's reading the same page for so long, maybe Don should taker to the park, take her out to walk Riot... Do all the things he should have done, all the things he wish he could've done.
Is the scruff on the front door what calls her atention and she gets up, and Sam can see the bump on her tummy. Sam's heart broke, and he can't breath.
He notice she's opening the door for the dog who surely has sniffed him and runs away, she's not gonna find him this time.
***
They gave up because they had to but don't ask for them not to mourn their losses.
______________
Where this comes from? When I was your man by Bruno Mars, for no good reason.
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: h/c
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, mentions of others.
rathed; G
Spoilers: Yes, some
Summary: They have lost people, they've lost someone they love, and both miss what they had for a little while.
A/N: I use to think in the weirdest things while preparing for stress
***
It is supposed that we have one or two chances of real love in our lives right? for this two it weas true, each one had two chances,
for the first, the first woman he loved, thought he was insane and asked him to leave, it broke his heart and made him give up on everything. The second Heaven gave him, maybe to broke him a little bit more, he had to left and everything he loved of her world, to keep her safe.
The second met the love of his life, but she was killed, and heaven gave him a second chance, maybe just to mock him, the second was taken away from him aswell. to protect her, and to bring her back to her old life, where SHE wasn't broken.
***
Dean remembers that blouse, it used to be her fancy bluse, light blue with the darker thingies, he remembers the first time she wore it, a saturday, Ben was at a friend's house for the night and he arrived from work. they had fun that fternoon, right next to his baby.
he remembers before, when he was stupidly young and she was jus tthis side of older than him, and every times a smile flashes on his face, those are one fo his best memories, only his because he's the only one who remembers.
He remembers those days, because he had that little bit of normal, he remembers the first time they went out, they laughed and kissed and got lost on a park and then, he held her while they saw fireworks.
yeah, they met in the craziest circumstances, yeah... but that does not mean she'd have to be less important. he remembers her arms aroud him when he was alone, and now he misses it, he needs her.
***
Sam was standing outside the window, this time being really carefull, this time there's no fear.
he remembers the couch, it was THEIR place, he remembers because the one time they fell asleep on it, just holding each other, his nose burried on her hair and her hand over his heart, exactly on his tattoo.
He remembers that time for what they told each other, he was lost, he was done, and when he felt so lonely she was there for him, When he had nothing she was there for him, he was broken and she was broken, and once again Sam had someone with him.
***
During his entire life Dean Winchester gave things up, It started when Dad lewft, buit he was back and then when Mom and Dad brought the baby home, he missed his om the three days she was away but now she was busy with the baby. Thinking back, Dean feels weird and sad because he was jealous, and those few months were all the time Sam had Mom. He gave up time, he gave up he friends, his house, space, toys, even sleep and food, he gaveup part of his life for Sammy and the one he loved too.
Giving Up on Lisa? was harder. The life she had Ben and the house, he misses the restaurant where they used to go, the teasing from Ben, he misses. Giving up on her for his brother, maybe but for the empty soulless version of him? it hurt.
he used to get up early, and make her breakfast, used to come home as soon as posible, to be with them, used to go to the movies with Ben, just the boys of the house.
Now? looking inside the house by a glass distorting everything, it almost can imagine he's the on on the table with them.
***
During his entire life Sam had somebody, sometimes, in the middle of the night or when he had one too many drinks he can imagine is because he was compensating for Mom, he always had someone, first Dean and Dad and once he left, at first he didn't had calls, but Bobby, and Missouri and Jim called, always asking if he was okay, if he needed something, how he was in rent.
Then Deanstarted calling, and leaving messages, always so infuriatingly normal, as if they were talking daily.
That's why he was so lost, so broken when he ended up alone on that lab, he should have to go around looking for him, but he thought Dean will be back, he came back before, so he just sat and waited, waited until every hint of hope was gone. That's why he stayed in one place, that's why he met her, because he was waiting for his brother.
And hecame back, right in time, when his world once more was falling apart. Amelia decided for Don and he had a call from Dean and thouht things will be allright now.
The guilt? the pain he made him feel, he never expected them. Maybe he deserves them, maybe this is all he'd ever have. he's so lost even with his brother back, he barely sleeps, doesn't want to eat, Sam had to hide in the bathroom and cry, please don't tell anyone about that.
***
Dean lost Benny and missed Castiel, his brother wasn't honest with him, he asked for few days on his own and went to see them, he knows they don't remember him, he knows he was never there. he's not the kind that will cry, NO, dean Winchester has no time for that, instead he just stays awake, feeling guilty and feeling tired, and sometimes, at night he wishes he could put a gun in his mouth and.... But he has to carry on right?
He sees the guy, tall, almost blonde sitting on his place, laughing, even if neither Ben or Lisa joins him, he knows that face, she's not amused, but she's not angry either, preocupate, that's it, she's always like that when work is not okay, he should be making her smile, she neds to laugh before she gets too worked up by worry.
Ben is bigger, almost full grown now, and a little chubbier than he remembers, and is good, that means he's safe, his features are different now, no longer Ben looks like him, it used to make people wonder, used to make him wonder.
He hopes the guy gets along with him, hopes he plays video games with him, hopes he have the time to talk, about htings, about life and girls.
Dean standing in that window,hopes the tall almost blonde guy gets the memo... Lisa is getting pissed, hopes the guy could hold her and smile to her and tell her everything will be alright. that's what she needs, he knows. Hopes he could take her to dane and to watch stupid fireworks in the park.
Hopes, stupidly that he could go inside and hopes one day he can come back to them, but that's just wishful thinking.
Ben's eyes found Dean's and they all turn, by the time the guy is out Dean is already half way to his baby.
***
Sam can't even remember how he got there, the second Dean left he just took off aswell, he's still coughing blood and feels worst and worst, and he needs to see her, because dean is not being honest, and is not giving him a second of peace.
he's standing on her flowerbed, looking inside the house, there on his couch, Don is watching TV not even looking at her, Amelia is reading on the other end. he is begging, wishing he could move, he should move and touch her, distract her, she's worried, Sam knows by the way she's reading the same page for so long, maybe Don should taker to the park, take her out to walk Riot... Do all the things he should have done, all the things he wish he could've done.
Is the scruff on the front door what calls her atention and she gets up, and Sam can see the bump on her tummy. Sam's heart broke, and he can't breath.
He notice she's opening the door for the dog who surely has sniffed him and runs away, she's not gonna find him this time.
***
They gave up because they had to but don't ask for them not to mourn their losses.
______________
Where this comes from? When I was your man by Bruno Mars, for no good reason.
