szarabasjka: (Default)
[personal profile] szarabasjka
 fill to this PROMPT (John finds Dean sacrificing something he needs (shoes or clothes that fit/medicine/food) to buy something Sam wants (a book/ laptop)with the little cash he has and realizes that he pushed his elder son into watching-out-for and putting Sam first for so much of Dean's childhood that the boy doesn't even think twice before placing Sam's wants before his own needs. Cue angst and guilt.
(And maybe a scene where he awkwardly tries to tell Dean to get the things he needs before buying Sam's stuff only to have Dean splashing him with Holy-water because Dad would never ask him to put himself first)...

Someone please write this? *puppy eyes* pretty please? )

Title: Aching

___


“Boys I’m home!” John Winchester passed the door, his eleven years old Sam was there, doing his homework but Dean was missing.


“Hi dad!” Sam had grown a couple inches in the last week since he last saw him, he was all gangly and skinny again, he’d need new clothes soon, he always needed them, but his pants looked fine, still. One thing less to worry about.


“Where’s your brother?” 


“Went to the store, he’s having a toothache for two days now…” John just grunted, he knew something might be happening.


“okay, but is he okay? Or…”


“he’s okay, he’s been taking few pills from the first aid kit, the strong ones.”


“That bad…?”


“Apparently.”


“I’ll take a bath, and we’ll get your brother to the dentist as soon as he gets home.”

***


Dean went around the store, looking for something for the pain on his mouth, it was like having a golf ball inside his mouth, and it had this giant blister-like thing, he should have gone to see a dentist, he had money, but Sam needed new shoes two town ago, and then the freak grew four inches in like two weeks and his pants were so stupidly short... he tensed his jaw and felt the sharp pain, like an electric bolt. “Damn!” he said holding his face, if you touch it you could feel it, there’s a lump there, a giant painful lump.


“You okay sweetie?” Dean turned to face a middle aged woman; she was looking concerned to the kid.


“Yes, Ma’am, just a little problem here…” and he pointed to his cheek. The lady bit her bottom lip as if thinking about.


“Take this…” she offered a card. “That’s my eldest son’s card, give it to your mom. I’ll tell-”


“My mom is death.” Dean let out and the woman frowned. 


“Sweetheart! recently? I’m so sorry, are you okay?”


Dean smiled, the angelic smile - according to Bobby, the one smile that would take him anywhere and between any legs. Dean still have to try the last one.- “thank you Ma’am, but it happened when I was 4. It gets better with time.”


“I’m sure…” the lady got close, gave him a hug and told him to give it to his dad, that he’ll talk to the guy so he’d have an appointment as soon as he called.


Dean finished picking up something fresh, Sammy needed healthy salads, that way he’d grow up just as fine as he was doing.


By the time he got to the cashier, the lady there, told him someone already paid for his purchase that he could take some more milk and couple other stuff too. Maybe Bobby was right about his smile.


Dean walked back to the motel room and saw the impala, his heart did a flip and he ran inside. “Dad!” he was smiling, and that made more obvious the lump.


Dean’s voice was already changing; he could hear the adult low voice behind the squeaky tones. Dean cleared his throat and repeated his greeting.


“Hey Deannie.” Sometimes he just need that, Dad stopped calling him that when he was eight, but in days like today when dad is concerned or fresh back from a hunt he sometimes uses that name. “Sam told me about your teeth…”


So it was concern. “yeah… it’s been hurting.”


“Look for a dentist and we’ll go see him.” It wasn’t even 6pm yet. “we could have a late dinner, so you can enjoy your food.”


“A lady gave me this.” He offered the card. “She said he’d have time for me if you call.”


John thought for a minute or two, the card surely was from a quite pricey place, but it was Dean’s health, right? He could afford it for Dean.


The doctor said he’ll see Dean in two hours if he could make it, John had a chat with the man and invented a story about insurance problems after Mary passed away, that way the dentist said he’ll take cash.


John told Dean to get ready, they’ll be going together and Sam asked for a ride too, “I have tons of homework and I need to use the library’s computer again.” 


All the time on the car Dad noticed Dean was quiet, while Sam kept complaining about his lack of a personal computer.


Dad told him that the computer had to wait, that Dean needed to go to the dentist first. The huff Sam let out made Dean snap his head back, John saw how his boy bit his lip and kept checking on Sammy all the time, as if waiting for his brother to be mad.


The doctor; a guy hardly older than Dad, gave him some gas and started with is job, he had an abscess and it’ll need to be treated, and he was put on antibiotics, by the end a funnily groggy Dean is carried to the impala by their father, the doctor said he had three cavities. “He has to take better care of his teeth, I know… he said he’s nervous, but you’re his father, you should talk him into letting me work on the rest.”


John had given his son money for the whole treatment, and he’ll give him an explanation as soon as the anesthesia wears off. “he’d come back tomorrow.” Promised and moved to hold his son who was smiling stupidly to a potted plant, and smiling.


By the time they were home Dean was more focused, he even turned to Sam and gave him the Fonz’s wave completed with a HEEEY. John let him sleep and waited but a desperate call from Bill Harvelle had him out of the door in two minutes.


“Lock doors and secure everything.” He ordered as he was loading his gun and taking his stuff, Sammy answered with a serious Yes sir. “Watch out for your brother.” He said out of instinct for the first time not to Dean while offering Sammy a wad of bills for whatever they might need. 


Another yes sir for answer and he moved to hug and kiss his boy’s hair, then stopped next to Dean asleep in the bed. He kissed his head too. “If I’m not back in a week…”


“We’ll go to Bobby and say; dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days.”


John hugged him one last time. “Good boy.”


It took him two weeks to go back and arrived at three in the morning, Dean was up and at the door by the time he climbed down the car. 


“Dad!” Dean greeted him smiling. And John felt his heart break.

That kid, the one with the too heavy burden, the kid he entrusted with his baby brother, the one that was always prepared, always alert and ready. 


Dean was already taking his duffel inside while talking nonstop about the things they’ve done, it was the usual thing, but something was there also.


“Do you want something to eat? There’s lasagna left for you from dinner.”


“No, no, I stopped by the Roadhouse. I brought some pie for you and your brother.” And he took the food out of his duffel; Bill’s lady always gave him things as if he were a normal person. Dean opened the Tupperware and smiled. 


And then he did something Dean always do, he looked to the sleeping form of Sam in one of the beds and covered the plate. “Tomorrow, with Sammy.”


John sighed, he got up. “Did you go to see the dentist? Is everything okay?”


Dean looked at him startled before hiding his eyes. “Yeah... about that… I kinda used the money for something else.” His eyes traveled to the table, a computer was sitting on the table. John huffed and faced his son. 


“That money was to fix your teeth.”


“But Sammy needed it for school, and we don’t have to go to any library anymore.” And panicking at the look of disapproval from his father Dean kept talking. “It’s not new. I couldn’t afford a new one but is good shape and…”


“Still, that’s by far more expensive than the money I gave you.”


“Seriously, I thought that was the best option, because now with Internet… we can do research faster and-”


John raised a hand. “S’okay. I get it, but you still have to get your teeth fixed.” He let out a sigh at the way Dean was biting his lip. “Do you have any money left?”


“No, I used my savings and all you gave me.”


John sat down rubbing his face. “Your savings?” Dean answered with the same Yes Sir, they always use. “That’s your money, is not to spend, that’s for something serious.”


“This was serious Sir.”


“Okay!” he let out frustrated and getting angry. “I’ll give you money tomorrow, and you’ll go to the damn dentist, I don’t want you hurting, okay?” John got up moved to his son and held him, kissing his hair. “I worry about you. You shouldn’t always care for Sam.”


“Dad!!” Sammy was laughing and running to him. “Dean bought a computer, did you see it?”


Dean had his brother by the elbow and was pulling him behind his back. 


“NO, Sammy!”


John stood there watching his 13 years old kid pointing a gun to his face, his other hand in a flask on his pocket. “Who are you?”


“Dean…” his father scoffed. “What’s this?”


“Shut the fuck up! Who are you?!”


“Dee...” Sam held Dean’s shirt with one hand while his brother gave him the other glock he always carried with him.


“That’s not Dad.”


John moved forward worried. “What the fuck dee?”


“My dad would never say he’s worried, he trusts me.”


“I do, but I’m still worried.”


“Shut up.” The voice on his kid was different lethal hunter all the way, and it made John proud. “Get the fuck out of here or I’ll gank you.”


“Dean, that’s enough.” Dean unscrewed the flask on his hand and splashed his dad with holy water. Nothing happened. “Okay, I’m not a demon.” He tried to move to them but the secure on Dean’s gun clicked. 


“Don’t get any closer.”


“Dean, seriously?” John took a gun from his pocket. “Silver, right?” he showed his knife to his boys, they knew the weapon, and he made a cut on the inside of his arm. “No shape shifter and no ghost.” He said knocking his hand against the table on his way to take the saltshaker. “It’s me.”


“Thanks God.” Sam let out and forgetting any reservation and ran to his dad; Dean kept the gun pointed at him for one more second before lowering it. “What happened?”


“Nothing.” Dad hugged Sammy and after a couple seconds raised an arm to motion Dean to come over. “Come here.”


“I’m sorry...” Dean had tears in his eyes, he was sure dad will punish him for this.


“Nothing to be sorry, you did well, not to trust anyone no matter the face.”


John had his boys in his arms and was thinking about Dean’s dedication to his brother, when Sammy was starting school he bought him a 240 colors pencil case instead of buying himself clothes, he never mentioned his shoes had holes so Sam could have cleats, and more than once he saw Sam wearing Dean’s jacket while they waited for him in the rain. And it’s all his fault he pushed Dean into this, he pushed Dean into sacrificing everything for his baby brother, Sam doesn0t need more than ask and Dean will find a way to give him anything he wants. 

DAMN I royally fucked this up. He thinks while rubbing his boy’s back.


“Go back to Bed, Sammy.” Dean let his youngest go. “You check the salt lines Dean and get ready to bed too.” Both boys moved.


While Dean was getting in bed next to his sleeping baby brother Dad got close to him. “you’ll go back to the dentist…”


“Okay.”


John knew he had to say something else. “I… you don’t always have to do everything for Sammy.”


Dean stopped mid motion and looked at him. “you said it’s my job”


“It is, but you don’t have to do absolutely everything for him.”


“But-”


“Listen to me, you have to take care of your brother, okay? That’s fine, but you also have to take care of yourself.” He caressed the blond head and looked deep into his son’s eyes, Mary had the same eyes. “How are you supposed to look after him if you’re not well?” Dean blinked and nodded. “So… from now on, you’ll take care of Sam without being careless about yourself. Clear?”


“Yes Sir.”


“Good, now sleep.” Dean lay down but was still tense. “What?”


“Are you sure you’re you?” John snickered. 


“Yes I’m sure, I just… don’t know, wanted to make things clear, you and your brother are equally important to me, I don’t want you to stop caring for yourself because you’re putting Sammy first. That’s all.”


“Okay.”


“G’nite Dee.”


“Nite dad.”


John stayed up for hours; he tried to be clear but had this idea of Dean thinking he was nuts.


And he was right no matter what Dean never stopped putting Sammy first.


 

The end

   . 
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