Jun. 12th, 2011

szarabasjka: (Default)
A while back I had this non verbal comunication classes, you know, as part of my training as an MD, well, since I had a mention on pchyshiatry and I'm a bit of a creep for that kind of stuff I startred marking points in every day life when I use what I learnt, I'm very aware of my trsut issues because I always tend to think the worst from others when is about missunderstandings or mistakes.

It comes in the shapes of memories of my 10th b-day that hunts me to no end. I tend to think I made mistakes, I'm the one to blame, that's why nobody stays, why Nobody never wants to stay.

but that will go in diff directions if I keep going
about the non spoken language thing

As an example this event that happened while watching CM LDSK, near to the end when Hotch Kicks Reid; I saw it the first time thinking "I knew the whole big brother I care for you thing was a lie, why would anyone be so worried about someone"

And noticed that it was the way Reid must have felt, right? at least at first trust and abandonment issues too strong to beat down.
Then came the second part, when someone else saw it for the first time, that someone being my sister, she saw the same scene and said "I'm sure Hotch's planning on giving him some kind of exit he's not kicking him for real" and then she explained that it was like when I used to make her leave the room or the house whenever something bad was about to happen, it felt good, for like a second to think she can trust others just like that.

I understand there's lots of things wrong with the world but we'll be fine, and I like to think there's hope even for those tortured childrens

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