szarabasjka: (Wink)
Title: Easter bunny
UNIVERSE: Supernatural
rating: G
Based on this scene

***
"Dean?"
"Sleep Sam, please..." Dean was back from a hunt to stay with Sam for a week, mostly because he was badly beaten and had a concussion, Dad was worried but he had to finish the job.
"But.. D...?"
Dean let out a sigh of frustration and turned to face his brother.
"What? Sam it's 3 am, I want to sleep." it was still mostly cold even if the first of spring was tehre already.
Sam had his head up and was looking at Dean's face while biting his bottom lip. "Is it tue? what's on dad's journal? everything?"
"Yes, I told you it is. I wasn't lying."
Sam considered this information for a moment. "Vampires?"
"Yes."
"werewolfs?"
"Yes."
"Ghosts and ghouls?"
"Come on Sam, YES!!"
"all monsters? and all creatures?"
"Yes!!"
"why didn't you told me?"
"you were too young, I just..." Dean was hardly 15, Sam was 11 and a half.
"it's just... you remember tommy from school?"
"the piece of shit I had to beat up yesterday for hurting you?"
Sam huffed. "I was doing just fine..."
Dean finally faced his brother frowning and with his jaw clenched. "That ass had you covered in eggs, paint, and melted chocolate, what kind of easter joke was that?"
"he says its not true."
"What?"
"you said creatures and monsters are real, right? but he doesn't believe the Easter bunny is real, and it had to be right?" Sam's puppy eyes begged him to say yes. "like everything else? if the bad ones are real, the good ones too. right?"
Dean swallowed the knot on his throat. "Sammy..."
"don't do that... D, don't say it." he turned burrying his face on the pillow.
"Sammy.." Dean felt his ribs creaking and when he moved closer to Sam wincing with pain. "monsters are real, it's true."
"but I know Santa is not real, and that stupid stuff about the smurfs..."
"come on, even you can't believe they're real..."
"you said all creatures... why you lied?" Sam's voice broke and he started crying against the pillow, Dean moved closer wanting to touch his baby brother.
"Hey" Dean whispered against his baby brother's neck. "I just wanted to do the right thing, you deserve..."
"that's okay, I forgive you..." Sam cut him before he had the words out.
"aww, Sammy, please."
"really... let's go to sleep."
Dean called for him a couple more times but Sam never answered him, not even when Dean shook his shoulder
The next day Dean found Sam easter basket and the chocolate he had stashed in the bin.
Sam never again asked Dean about any other good character.
szarabasjka: (Wink)
Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] sasha_dragon at For Our UK Members: Get 'Carry On, My Wayward Son' to #1
Shall we ladies?


Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] kate_mct at For Our UK Members: Get 'Carry On, My Wayward Son' to #1


szarabasjka: (Wink)
Seriously.
I cried, I laughed, I scared the whole neighborhood when he opened his eyes.
such a great episode, and I just... I'm still in shock.
I had -as many- that theory already but seeing those eyes.
THOSE EYES!!
DAMN!!
Castiel should worry, Cas should've been there already.
what now? is dean going to kill Cain? he promised he will.
is he going to do something else? like going with Crowley? like controlling Hell?
my heart is pounding and I feel like I should be sad.
I'm just in Hyper mode for the adrenaline.
long time since something caused this reaction in me.
szarabasjka: (Wink)
Written to fill a simple prompt here that I made a gigantic mess...

Title: Little wonders
Author: Kali
Pairing: J2, Misha/rachel, Danneel/genevieve
Rating: PG 13 for language and depiction of violence against women, mild sexual situations and sexual talk.


Part 1 )
Next

Pure

Feb. 19th, 2014 11:08 pm
szarabasjka: (Wink)
made as a fill for this prompt Here
***
Title: Pure
Author:Kali
Pairing: Castiel/Dean
Kinks: Depression, suicide attempt, bullying, and once more I don't know how to tag John being a kinda Jerk!Dad, Protective!Cas

Pure )
Pure_2
szarabasjka: (Wink)
three things:
1) that girl who asked to everyone but Jensen... he said he really felt bad when he was left out, you know?
2) sometimes I wish Misha would stop making jokes about destiel...
3) someone said "maybe that's finally how we can get to end this thing, don't you think?" refering of the fact that fans leaving either because they ship or not ship destiel and are tired of the wank would be the death of the series

so yeah... Chicon ruined my life
szarabasjka: (Wink)
I mean, seriously!!
Charlie's mom, The Hobbit.
those two lines she reads.
and dean taking care of his baby brother and being scaerd for him and that little bit
"are you ready to let go?"
"Never!!" That's my Dean!

I loved Sick Sammy saving the day even if it was Saint Sam again,
this was a very very good epi!!
szarabasjka: (Wink)
Tittle: When I was your man
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: h/c
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, mentions of others.
rathed; G
Spoilers: Yes, some
Summary: They have lost people, they've lost someone they love, and both miss what they had for a little while.

When I was your man

Six tears

Mar. 30th, 2013 05:39 pm
szarabasjka: (Wink)
Tittle: Six tears
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: Family angst
Characters: John Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and mention of others
rathed; G
Spoilers:S1 barely there
Summary: based on the idea of "someone knows why Dean eys were bleeding when bloody mary?
A/N: we fell guilty for a lot of things, but some people guilts are far worse

Six_Tears

Six tears

Mar. 27th, 2013 08:08 pm
szarabasjka: (Wink)
Tittle: Six tears
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: Family angst
Characters: John Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and mention of others
rathed; G
Spoilers:S1 barely there
Summary: based on the idea of "someone knows why Dean eys were bleeding when bloody mary?
A/N: we feel guilty for a lot of things, but some people guilts are far worse.

***
This is the first, but is the second. He was ten the first time, he remembers it because the guy was dad's close friend, at least for a while, he remembers when the rougaroo held him and bit him hard, Dean heard the crack, the noise and he gasped and his eyes got closed and he feels guilty, because he should've kept his eyes open and he should've been the one saving him, he was the back up, that's what Dad said.

When Pastor Jim and Dad were burning the remains he was sitting next to a sleeping Sam inside the car, but he heard
"That's what happens when you hunt without a back up" Pastor Jim said and Dad growled
"He had back up, he had Dean"
"He had nothing! Dean is a kid, he's not real back up, you need a real hunter for this Winchester... "

Dean always felt this was his first kill, because, seriously... the guy died because of him.
***

The third and the second are from a couple he couldn't save, it was Loussiana and he got into the house when the angry spirit of a battered wife had them hanging from hooks on the ceiling, he tried to warn them but when the lady said he was just a kid trying to sneak intotheir wealth he got furious and left, he was 22 by then and Sam just jad left for Stanford, not even dad could stop him.

He feels guilty because the last he said was "you know what? I hope you get killed, and painfully for being such douche bags" he hardly got into his car by the time the first cristal broke and the man's scream pierced the morning quiet air.
***


The fourth is from a time when the creatures, Dad never really told him what they were, for all he knows it was some kind of very nasty witches, had a girl tied to a sacrifice stone and a dagger right over her heart.

"I give you. Oh great goddess this virgin" The spell was supposed to make them forever young and pretty, and Damn the hag holding the dagger could use the help... and he shot, one of the things he learn that night is that nobody actually flies back as it's seen in movies. instead the thing shrieked and got the girl out of the stone in one fluid motion while one of the others attacked him, Dean was 14 at the time and Dad was just four miles away and coming, he was held down "He'd be next... he's not a virgin but his blood is special" said one of them holding him and licking his face "All that delicious pure blood..." said sniffing his skin

"Let her go!!" he yelled, his voice still high, as any 14 years old voice, just starting to change.

"you care for her?" said the Witch, and held the girl clawing at her neck, the first dropplets of blood running down to her white cotton top as she cried. She begged, and begged and screamt in pain and fear while Dean saw the three things ripping her apart.

Dad got there and saved them both but while he was fighting the last one, and killed her, Dean had to pick up the dead body of a girl, hardly of Sammy's age, hardly heavy enough to make it hard to carry the lifeless body out of the shut.

He always feels guilty, because Hunters are supposed to save innocents, not to have them killed in front of you, Dad never said anything about it, not even cared the girl had to be returned to her parents.
***

The fifth is from the skinwalker that went after Dad,  he was hardly 15 and after the girl... after the girl he went kinda trigger happy, wreckles, so much dad even avoided letting be bait. Sam was whining on why they can't live in one place whenit happened, the thing followed dad "Why? because you'll bore every town to kill you if they have to bear with your crap for longer than few days you bitch!" Dean ran out and turning on a alleyway saw a bulking figure against the light and shot, the pained scream made it clear he hit his target, the creature on the floor was sobbing and Dean took his bowie in hand to finish it, a snicker from behind him made it clear he shot the wrong creature.

The skinwalker jumped him fom behind and pushed him down "Aren't you a jewel?" he said and punched him before Dad's footsteps made the monster flee.

Dean moved fast, and got tho the victim of his bullet and found a homeless guy, maybe 25, blonde and is clear blue eyes filled with terror and tears "I just wanted some food, I swear I did nothing wrong" Dean freaked out, started screaming for help, while the guy turned pale and cold on his arms, Dad had him by one arm and up

"Shut up, stupid!" he said hissing "do you want tot have every cop in this damn city on our tails?"

"he's bleeding Dad.. I..." and bent over the guy "i'm sorry, I swear I'm sorry, I'm sorry" but the guy was dead already. Dad dragged him away. Sam was just there, watching him, neither commented on it ever again but Sam looked at him different ever since.
***

The first. The first is special because it's his first memory, he couldn't even speak after that, for months, couldn't even say Dad how sorry he was, he couldn't even tell the truth.

The very first was when he was four, and he felt too hot and too much light in the house so he walked and saw Mom, her mouth open like trying to say something, her lips moved in a voiceless word, it seemed to him it was Dean, she wasked him to help her. he moved closer, but then Dad held him, gave him his brother and ordered to run, Dean obeyed, he had to take Sammy out, he had to, he had to go back, mom wanted his help, Mom needed him. and he had this picture in his head, mom held up high with the stains of red blood on her belly and her hair on fire.

He wanted to go back inside and help her when Dad had him and pulled him away. He should go back to Mom, he should've heped her.

and he's the one to blame, sammy will never met her because of him, and Dad started drinking because of that too, and Mom died because he wasn't good enough, fast enough, he felt guilt.
in his entire life, Dad never told him he forgive him, because Dean never tried to say he was sorry for not saving Mom.
***

And right outside the antiques store, for Sam it was only a line, but Dean even can count the beads of blood staining his face. When Sam asked him why his eyes bleed, he still has no enough strenght to tell his brother all of this,

the end
********************
Where this comes from? comes from the general question of why dean's eyes bleed in Bloody Mary.

Dad's gone

Mar. 7th, 2013 11:08 pm
szarabasjka: (Wink)
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made.

Title: Dad's gone

Rating: PG

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, John Winchester, Mary Winchester.
Summary: Dad is gone, all the time and for everyone of them...

A/N: I tend to think on the weirdest things while preparing for stress, this came to me in the last couple days thinking about the epi I just finished not an hour ago.

A/N1: read the first paragraph and then chose one of the paragraphs bellow each time, it applies to all of them.
"sometimes you have to stop hoping for things that will never happen."


Was dark and makes you feel alone, it is quite disturbing waking up in the middle of the night to notice this weird thing, the feeling of every monster closing over your bed.
But there's some things that help right? avoid the emptiness?

Dad's a presence every kid in this world wants, is like having your own superhero right there, at home for you, at least most of the times, unless you're one of those unlucky who instead of a personal superhero have a nightmare... we all have heard of that girl's dad for example, he's violent and police had to remove her from her house because of what he did to her, it were years before you could even get an idea of what happened to the poor little girl. At least until you grew up, having your Dad is one of the best things ever, his voice, or his smell, making you feel safe and complete and okay.
That's why it hurts the most, he said good bye, he said he'll be back but so far... nothing, it's been a week already and it makes you feel betrayed and thorn.

***
Is not like he's left alone, he has someone to take care of him, he's not alone yet it hurts.

It hurts for John when his dad didn't come back, not knowing what happened to him, not knowing if it's his fault. he's standing next to a window when the voice of his mom calls him for dinner

***
Is not like he has time for this, he has someone to look after for.
It hurts for Dean when his dad is away, not knowing if he's coming back, not knowing if he's safe, not knowing if it's his fault they never stay in one place...
He's standing next to a window when Bobby's voice calls him for dinner, Sammy is right there very proud of himself for seasoning the salad by himself.

***
Is not like he has time for this, he has to pretend everything's alright
It hurts for Sam, when Dad's away, not knowing if he'll be back, not knowing how long it'll take, not knowing if it's his fault that Mom died, at least he's safe, he has Dean but at some point you realize that you're just two kids alone...
He's standing next to a window when Bobby's voice calls him, asking his help to have dinner ready, yeah, he can do that.

***

Is not like she has time for this, there's training with mom tomorrow and she needs to be ready.
It hurts, for mary, when her dad leaves, not knwoing what he's after, not knowing if he'll be back, not knowing what mom's feeling right now, it must be hard on her too.
She's standing next to a window when her mom calls, Dad said she'll go with him next time, and it scares Mary, she'll never let this happen to her kids, NEVER!


***********************
Too many Daddy issues on Supernatural right now.
szarabasjka: (Wink)
It was a great episode, yes! Even if the whole killing/kinda killing Zeus was kinda lame...
I loved how Deanjust connected with the kid and how he felt angry the second prmoetheus said he'd bolt. Yeah I was right there with him...
27213dean

What I loved; Dean being Hotter than usual for some reason, and being protective of his baby brother, which is no novelty.

Dean hugging the lady and facing another high deity, right there, looking someone as powerful as Zeus for some kid's sake, any kid's Sake, and offering HIS room, the room he's so proud of.

Sam's story is not clear to me, is he going to be at risk of death? is dean gonna have to save him again?

The fact that he's bleeding makes things not clear, but him, being Sammy-know-it-all as usual was cute, and I just want to know what's gonna happen.

Sam as Samwas great.

I miss Castiel because of Dean's prayer, "you know I'm not one of prayers, I tihnk it's like begging" he said, or something like that and I just felt like crying right there.

the baddies of the day? Zeus was great, but he should've been more european... just me.. you know? he should've had an accent or something.
Artemiss? meehhhh... lol

I liked Supernatural because I love supernatural but there was just so little of anything relevant on this episode, it just made me happy thefact that we get to see more of our boys.
27213boys
szarabasjka: (Wink)
It was painful and stupid and so so perfect...
My fav was Dean, he might be pissed with baby bro Sammy and still he protects him over his own safety.

deanhot
Lots-of-caps )
also watched a bit of Criminal minds episode last night, enough to be brokenhearted and sobbing

and try to do all of this with the "She's the one" song by Robbie Williams
szarabasjka: (Default)
And I liked it, it was far better than last week's.

I liked Benny, being around his great grand kid, the girl was cute and Benny can be such a sweetheart when he wants to be, liked him being protective and being honest with Dean, And the way he pats him in the back it felt like very old friends that love each other very much, The way he worries for Elizabeth was so sweet, I'm not ashamed to accept that the second he laid his head on that counter I cried, seriously cried.

I didn't liked Sam sending someone to track him and I didn't liked crazy Martin wanting to kill Elizabeth.

I liked Sam being protective on his brother, it feels like he's not worried about Benny being a vampire as much as he's worried he'll take his place. I kinda find disturbing he bails on a fellow hunter near to a Dean skilled level vampire for a married woman, but my heart broke when he saw her with stupid ass Don.

And is it just me... or Don looks absurdly like Sam? same nose, same brow, same lips, with the right light and a wig I'd believe he's Jared's stunt double. Just sayin'...

The idea of Don being so mature and talking to Sam when noone else was around makes me wonder if this is not in Sam's head, esp by the fact that when he gets that Dean wanted him gone, THEN Amelia Appears again, how convenient!! I still believe that Amelia herself or her husband resurection has something to do either with Naomi or Crowley and will be used against the boys at some point. Iknow I've complained alot about Jared's acting in the past but the way he reacted to both Dean's false message and Amelia standing right in front of him were GREAT! you can see a difference from the stiff boy *no pun intended* from the earlier seasons.

Still! not cool letting a half crazy person hitting your brother and then leaving him behind without even checking and cleaning his wound.

Bringing back old characters just to kill them off? WTF writers? but okay I kinda never liked the guy.

Dean is my fav and I can't be really objective when is about him, but still did't liked when he stood in front of Sam deffending Benny the way he used to deffend Sam. and what's wrong with things like his ability to fight? he just came back from purgatory where he was a slayer for a whole year and now a simple stupid vampire can take him down now? a simple almost crazy man can knock him out? okay I get he trust his brother to watch his back but still...

I like he'll back his friends up and gave anyone the benefit of the doubt at least for a while, the fact that even caring for Benny the way we know he cares, he still had his machete in hand when he faced him first, like sure if Benny was the killer, then he was going down.

I laughed like nuts when Benny had to ask if he slept with Elizabeth, think he was actually considering it. I liked when Dean turned his baby in a split second for her and for Benny, liked him checking her first before going inside to check on the rest, that's very Dean.
But sending false messages to get rid of his baby borther? really? I know, he needed to help Benny and had to keep Sammy and Beny safe, I get that, Sam would chase Benny and Benny hadto fight back and dean was not ready to be left in the middle, still I'm on Sammy's side on this one, Bad dean, Bad Dean...

All in All I liked this episode very much, but still feel like this season as good as it is -far better than anything done in Sera's administration- is flavorless, nothing memorable happen, like someone asked me what happened in the second epi this season and I still can't even remember the second epi at all.

The story is geat, the whole arc is getting a good shape, and sure enough we're gonna see things getting even better soon.

I can't wait to have Cas back and I seriously SERIOUSLY want dean to met Amelia(if she's real) I'm sure they're gonna just click like brother and sister from the first second and on, to Sam's chaggring because then there will be someone to tell her funny stories about chubby ten year old Sam.

the scene of the episode? Benny setting his head down to protect his kin, it broke my heart and made me understand why Dean will do anything to protect him, I guess a pure and caring soul can see another of its kind, huh?
szarabasjka: (Default)
Amazing Supernatural epi again!!
I thuoght it was kinda slow, pretty much nothing happening but then*sadly as in Sera Era* the last ten or twelve minutes madi it all up.

Why Crowley took a piece of Kevin... does it meansomething? Who's this Naomi girl? does it has something to do with the "lock hell doors forever arch"? Why are we back to Cas is betraying Sam and Dean?
Why the righteous Man can handle guilt better than any other feeling?
If Sam is Half Demon, why the Demon bombs doesn't hurt him?

things I liked, Kevin and Mrs. Tran, they're great, except that her voice was kinda squeaky...
I loved Dean seing Cas everywhere, I liked Cas in front of the TV.

cas141112
Cas showing his wings!!!
Was I the only one who Booed the TV when they didn't show Dean and Sam's reaction to having Cas back? they should've been hugs and laughter, we need some of that again... don't you think?
cas141112b
Cas facing Crowley!!

I liked Cas, period, just because is Cas, the way he was there to save Dean and not to be out, the fact that while dean thought he was protecting Cas and saving Cas for once, he had someone thinking only in saving him, andit's always Cas... the moment he says "I'm stronger I let go" I cried.
When Cas says he deserved to be in purgatory as penance for what he did, I cried!!
Note: kill bf who finds amusing me cooing a fictional character on TV, and having conversations with Dean and Cas...
dean141112
The face of a man who feels guilty.

Dean became a more eficient killer, a better hunter by his time in purgatory, so i guess that's gonna be very important at some point, I guess that being only a human hunter was kinda not enough anymore, he needed to step up his game, for both his and Sam's sakes huh?
Loved the epi and can't wait for the next.

BTW baby sister? the girl just presented her grade paper... she's gonna graduate college sooner that expected, what am I supposed to give mher?
szarabasjka: (Default)

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szarabasjka: (Default)
I'm so pissed at Supernatural right now... so it's okay for Sam to make this all Dean's fault again? Just like that?
Dean is right, Sam was all lies and deciet and now he acts like he's entitled to be pissed? because maybe Dean feels all that about him, but when did he actually throwed everything at his face? NEVER!! so stop making us think he can't let it go... there was not ONE thing in what Dean said that wasn't right, there was not ONE thing that was a matter of interpretation or Dean not knowing the truth, not ONE, Sam has always tried to run away.

For one second before Amelia told her story *which kinda was cool* I felt that Sam never looked for Dean because with Dean dead he has no need to be good, to do the right thing, because there's nobody to be disapointed of him. I'm still feeling that we might have seen the most selfish move on Sam Winchester history of douchiness.

Two things I loed About Sam, that he seems to realy like the girl, his face when Garth asked Dean how he left purgatory.

Two things I loved about Garth, character that's next to the second Ruby on my likes-not list, the fact that he step up when someone -or several ones- needed him, even being more lucky than expert. And the fact that he miss Bobby as much as the boys, and that told them so, because it's true Bobby might have had a soft spot for Dean and Sam but he was the whole comunity of hunters' source and it is just fair for them to mourn him too.

For one second there I thought that the reason why Garth wasn't affected by the coin is because; to feel betrayed you need to trust someone and maybe he has nobody... and It felt just so sad...

Two things I liked About Dean, that he's still struggling with Bobby's death, even after a whole year in purgatory, that he's so attached to Bobby's memory, to his second father's death and yet he understood that he was being selfish and gave the hat back to Garth, he might have pieces of Bobby aswell, so others deserve something too.

And that -as someone stated two weeks ago- his family is growing, He was okay with Castiel, but aparently he's still holding a grudge against him right? the same way he feels betrayed by Sam, the only one who was straight and forward to him was benny, and he acted just the way Dean Winchester likes, no questions, no long talks about feelings, he told him what he was and why he wanted to team up with him. he'd be back with Castiel in no time and hell be preotective with him the second they get to explain why Castiel was left behind. .I'm even sure that once Dean gets to know Amelia, he'd be protective on her too, even if Sam doesn't care about it. or if Sam is ashamed of his brother or if he doesn't want to explain her why the brother he had "lost" is live and kicking again.

all in all I liked this episode, it was very good, and so far this season is very strong and extremely drawing! something I haven't felt since S5.
szarabasjka: (Default)
You know, being the second of six kids I understand Dean's point of view, I've raised my siblings since my parents were always "busy with life" and I feel alot like Dean, everytime I see any of them doing something stupid I'm the one calling them out on it, I might even tried to force them into choices I thought were better for them, but when life called me over seas only one of my sisters *the cancer survivor* asked me what she was supposed to do, she couldn't come with me,
The rest? the rest ignored me for a long long while.


At home when we're all together is like a normal family, kinda, we can rip each other troaths, we skin each other alive, and then? then we go all together for pizza. and we Stunn my mother by it.

I get Dean, and I react for him all the time, I care for him more than I should for a fictional character, but wasn't until this episode, and the last scene that I understood Sam, I know, not wanting to be part of something because you're forced is the reason why I went after the career I chosed, the rest of my family had nbever before tried anything related to healthcare,  why I joined the marines  had two tours, because my grandfather's legacy was wasting, and why I'm always alone, because of my choices i only have few close friends. it doesn't mean that when I had to give up part of my life for my family I bailed.

I wasn't happy, I think I've cried a month thinking about the missing things,you can even read the moping in my old posts, and thinking about the oportunities and the people I had to give up in order to help family still hurts, the guy I gave up after years, to hear he got another girl pregnant not long after we split still is a problem for me.

I get  Sam, NOW! it must be hard to look into your once upon life and see nothing, I guess that you'd love to have a second chance and if you get a seocnd chance you'll hold it for dear life, I kinda like Amelia,  being sammy's second chance, not pushy, and not perfect, I like her because she's pretty much like Lisa * just not dorito collored* but I'm not fond to the dog, not much, stupid Dog peeing on MY/the car, because let's face it, that's what Dean smelled, it has still to grow on me...

What had me thinking while reading a review *which I do quite often just never comment on them* is that maybe, just MAYBE the last scene was made specifically by Jensen, to show us what Sam wants, even to make us hate him a little bit, maybe he's so protective on his character that gave Sam Dean's dream for us not to like him... just an idea tho.
One thing I noticed from Jensen recently is that he even keep tabs on what parts he never got, the ones rumored and then rumored lost... Maybe since Dean gave up on the perfect picnic scenario dream, Sam having it is a way for jensen to tell us he's not Happy on how things are going for Dean the little bit of bitterness and protectiveness that makes me like him even more.



I can't wait for next week!

szarabasjka: (Default)
"he was our responsability, and you couldn't answer the damn phone"
okay first tears so far.

*45 minutes later*
okay this is quite interesting.
I still don't get what's wrong with Sam, I don't know what's wrong with Dean and I don't know what happened to Cas, all I know is that we're back to square one, like in S5 or something.
I adore animals, I do , but stupid DOG!!! and stupid bitch vet... and stupid Sammy for buying it!! Why the car Sammy?? huh? WHY??

Dean is awesome, but what's wrong with Jensen's neck? was he sick? I swear I see swallen nodes on his neck, maybe is my doc side only but there's something weird there.

Dean is awesome! and I'm with him, you do what you have to do, you play whatever game it takes to get back to where you belong, and you learn to like what showed you the game, so I even understand why he teamed with Benny, all I want is to have Cas back!! ASAP! I'm sure Dean did everything to save Cas, he had to have done everything to save Cas.
szarabasjka: (Default)
Tittle: You know... Right?
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: Family
Characters: John Winchester, Mary Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and mention of others
Rathed; G, family
Spoilers: hints of S3
Summary: Sometimes he remembers What is and what will never be

A/N: I tend to think in the weirdest things while preparing myself for stress, this one came from a dream, in my dream someone who passed away long ago wanted me to know he loves me, even not telling everyone around.
***
Dean was thinking about one day specifically, the day he heard of his dad passing away.
he remembers the way he just sat, the loud sound in his ears, not sure if it was his heart, or his voice, or someone else, or a train crashing against the house. He couldn't tell for how long he sat down on the spot, or how long it took Mom to get there.

Now his eyes sting thinking about the first time he fixed the car with him.
It was the first day of School when he was 16, Sammy just turned 12 and the giant freak was already his height.

It was still warm and he was ready for school quite early, and then he moved to check on Dad, he was fixing the old car in the garage "Dad?" and the raspy voice sounded from under it "here... help me out kid... " and Dean helped him out from where h ewas trapped, getting stains of grease on his hands. "I want to get this ready as soon as posible" Dad said hiding his face, not wanting Dean's reading it was his present for Christmas, that's why his parents didn't let him buy the stupidly expensive jeep he wanted.

"D!!" Mom was at the door hands in hips and serious face "we're waiting!" But she smiled seeing her boys together, her eyes locked with her husband for a second "you'll fix the misstress when you're back from school D, move... and wash your hands. Now" Dean smiled and passed next to her while she spoke to John "you're gonna ruin the surprise..."
"Yeah" he said sighing "I'm so excited..." and caressed the car with the goofiest smile.
"HEY hands off, I'm watching you..." and leaned to kiss her husband both smiling.
"Oh my God...." Sammy at the door rolling his eyes "Why can't I have normal parents?"
"'cause you're cursed Samuel now go..." John pushed lightly his Wife and playfully smacked her in the ass, smiling even harder when she throwed him a murderous glare and Sammy frowned disgusted.
"go get your brother" Mary caressed Sammy's hair but he flinched away combing his hair with his hand
moaning a Mooooom.
***
"So... you'll be okay?" asked Mom to the rear mirror when they arrived to school, Sam was hidding on the seat.

"yeah yeah... just..." huffed and opened the door and waited for Dean while he kissed his mom's cheek "Come on!! Dean!! you're a freaking nerd!" Dean left the car to get in front of him

"For kissing my mom in front of your friends?" Dean spat angry "then I don't care" and smiling to Mom "see you tonight", Dean and Sam are close, they walk back from school together, and it makes Mom happy to know they're always watchong each other's back, even if she knows they had a fight few days ago when Sam started making dark remarks on how Dean left the footballteam, and lacross team, and track team because he's focusing on HIS grades, the idea made Sam huff and call him names for days, mom knows just as Dad knows but was one of those things they call "the boys thing" and they're sure their Sons would settle things up by themselves.

"Bye Mom" Dean says

"Bye darling, you know I love you right?" And Sam feels he's about to pass out of shame

"Yes mom, I love you too.." Dean's stupid big grin makes Sam want to punch him in the face.

"Bye baby" Mom yells to Sammy "you know I love you right?"

"Yeah yeah..." he says and moves away, Dean stays there for a minute looking at his baby brother while Mom drives away.

It happens pretty much every day, and every day Dean is more and more pissed with Sammy.
One day he just can't stand it anymore and push Sam out of his way and stop talking to him all of a sudden.

One specific morning Dean leaves the car kissing mom in the cheek trough the Drivers window and ignoring Sam all the way to the school and is the same on the way home.

"C'mon Dean what did I do? Is it about me being in the football team now? 'cause I wanted to play with you, that's the whole point of..." Dean finally turns.

"No, is not about the team, I don't care about those idiots! Is about how you act around Mom and Dad, you never listen to what Dad has to say, and he's always more worried about Oh perfect Sammy than he'll ever be for me" Sam groans, is not true, but looks like it's true, even to him.

"And you disrespect Mom in front of the whole school!!!" Dean continues arms rised "what do you want me to say? I can't take it anymore, if I see you doing it again, I'm gonna pounch you in the face one day and I don't want to!!" and kept walking, Sam stays there for one second and moves, anger filling his brain of incomplete ideas and stupid things to say to hurt his brother, but he does hear Dad, He've said a million times, that you have to think the words you say because once they leave your mouth they can hurt more than anything else and even if it only last a second the wound they causes last forever.

"Is not my fault that you have no self-respect, or that you like to kiss your own mom in public..." he says finally "Is not Normal to be 16 and be so attached to your mother Dean...!" Dean Stops and turns again.

"You don't remember Sammy, I get that..." and Just like Dad, Dean breaths deep and sighs slowly "that's why you still have your teeth in place... " and keeps walking.

"What? What is that I don't remember huh? WHAT!!" he yells and stays behind, Dean turns and Sam is getting tired of that, he's not a fucking DOG!

"THE FIRE you idiot!!!" and Sam gasps, he've heard that, when he was six months old there have been a fire in the house, that started at his nursery, Dad had to carry Mom out and Dean saved him, Mom stayed in the hospital for months, and that's why she never wears short sleeves, or skirts or dresses, because of the scars, that's why Dad is always around the house, he knows about the woman Missouri who helped them while they were left alone,and during the years when she needed physical therapy, how that lady used to tell him stories of monsters and ghosts and how it scared him Shitless and How Dean used to fight her for scaring his Sammy. He knows.

"But what does that has anything to do with your Oedipo complex?" And that's it, even if Sam regrets his words Dean gets close and his hands stays just milimeters away from his face.

"Do you have any idea how close we were to be orphans? I still have nightmares, I remember her, twisted and still, fire all over her, and even If I wanted to help I couldn't, I had to take care of you, for Dad, for Mom and for you... what if she died back then?" and Dean sighs "there's a boy at school, one of the seniors, his mom died last may, and he's.. he just..." Dean sighs and shakes his head "it could've been us Sammy, can you imagine a life without her? where would we be? you think Dad would live without her?" and Sam brow raises "you think that... let's face it, I love the man and all but he alone? raising us? we would be some kind of freaks bro, and now you choose to waste Mom feeling ashamed of her saying she loves you? be grateful you have someone that loves you like that Sammy..." and he keeps walking leaving Sammy behind. "like when she travels without warning, I'm always scared she won't be back..." somewhere in the middle of that Sam had to bite the words "It's SAM, not Sammy", those words feel not right at the moment.

***
Dad arrives when they already at the table, and washes while looking from Dean to Sam and then to Mary, they're quiet and looking down, he moves his head and she makes a face, that's enough, they had a whole conversation with just that.
"So how was your day?" Mary asks and smiles
"Fine!! it was a great day... things are... huh... seems like things are getting better finally" he bends on the chair and looks to the boys "and... how was yours?"
"Great! too" Mary Smiles "joust.. you know... Bobby called, Rufus and him are... well... they found a lead on something" JOhn's quiet, Dean looks straight to his mom, he knows there's something else, that she'll be leaving soon. Dad let the words fall for them both
"Sweetheart, You..." She raises a hand smiling to John and her Son.
"No, I'm not going, just doing research for them" and John moves to kiss her with an okay and a sigh of relief, Sam groans.
"What?" Dean almost yells and Sams resumes his staring at his plate.
"you okay boys?" asks Dad in his no-bullshit voice.
"Yeah... I'm just... " Dean shrugs and keeps tossing his potatoes around his plate
"I swear the food is okay... just try it, okay?" Mom asks and Dean and Sam look at her startled.
"it's delicious!" both say at the same time
"then eat it, and try to act like a family you two..." finish Dad
***
"DDG" Mom calls when Dean left the car, she's been calling him that since she heard princess Diana uses it for her son, and since he heard what it means Dean's smile is bigger when she calls him that, so he goes back to the car, she's opened the door and open her arms and he without any reservation hugs her in front of his class, Sam is pretty much running away. hearing his mom calling him baby a couple times and sweetie, a couple too.
"Sam Winchester!" Mom shouts and he stops dead on his tracks to see Dean still holding her "come here Mister" she says and he has to go back "I'm gonna be away for a couple days, maybe a week Sammy, be good" and moved a hand, Sam flinches looking behind to his friends "Oh right... " Mom smiles sad and turns to Dean once more "go now, my angel... you're gonna be fine" but he doesn't leave.
"Just... just... be safe okay? and come home..." Mary's eyes fills with tears and holds her oldest son kissing his forehead
"I will my baby..." hugs him once more and then waves to Sam "bye boys... you know right? that I love you?"
"I love you too Mom" Says Dean, Sam still too shocked, she is leaving just like Dean feared, and then they turn and start moving towards the school door, suddenly Sam stops "I'm suck a jerk..." he says looking at Dean's tears, and running back screams for his mom to wait
"What's wrong baby?" Mom has her arms up and he just fly to them "Honey, is okay it's only a week"
"I love you Mom, I do, I'm sorry..." and she does what Mom's all around the world should do, she hugs him tight and kisses his floppy hair
"Nothing to sorry Sammy, I know you love me, I just... know..." she shrugs just liek Dean, making this funny face, and then pulls him away to clean his face "your friends are staring.." But Sam hugs her again.
"I don't care..." the sweet vibration from her laughter make him feel safe
"I will be back soon hun, I will, just... be good okay?" and to Dean, who suddenly was there "take care of him" And Dean's hand lands on his shoulder "God, it is hard to leave you too..." and hugs them both once more "now go, make me proud."

Mom left that day and it took her ten days to be back, by then all his boys were desperated for her.

Dean remembers that because it's the first thing that came to his mind when Dad had the heart attack, he remembers because of the girl, Sam is asking him to say something, Sam keeps asking him the name of the girl who sang at their father's service... and then the sound of a horn wakes him up

"KELLY CLARKSON!!!" Sam laughs, he has all the right to laugh, if he were inside Dean's dream he'd laugh even more. but now and then, Dean wishes he had his mom, even a little longer, he wishes he had that family from his dreams.

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