szarabasjka: (Wink)
I'm not quite sure what happened, I was coming home from work and a lady called telling me that my parents might need my help.
As all of you that know anything about my parents... is not the first time.
What you don't know is that baby sis moved to the "city" and that older brother moved far north of town leaving me pretty much alone in charge of my always needy parents. AND my other brother, the one who stole stuff from my house moved God Knows where - I don't actually care to say the truth- and nobody else is around.
So I was thinking why would they might need my help. Last time was because they were fighting screaming and throwing stuff around. So I went by and found a million burnt pots and pans, and I remember one time I had to rush home because my dad burnt something so bad fire department was called. I remember I payed the fine.

This is not because of my father who wasn't happy to see me since we're not talking to each other again.
It was my mother's fault, she's "tired of cooking" and everything even the kettle ends up black if she HAS so much as to start the stove.

All this is bad. Right? I offered them that catering service, so they could have fresh good food every day and mom don't have to cook, but she refused, my father just growled something about them being capable of looking after themselves.
So I went out to talk to the neighbor she said they're pretty okay but the smell of something burning start every day or two around three PM.

I was going back to my parent's when the smell hit me and I had this flashback, I don't really remember what I was doing, I think I was changing a diaper, I was like 8 or 9 and my mother passed the door and started screaming and cursing because of the smell, she then held the thing with a towel and trowed it at me. I think it was rice, I'm almost sure it was rice.

I remember having one mark on her pots was death sentence with her, and I can't remember if we were alone or if we had a maid at the time, but I do remember that, I remember because my sisters were near and I heard them running to my bedroom and I remember the slam of the door and my mother saying she'd kill me if it weren't for the bother of a useless body.

I had to sit outside of their house for like an hour, trying my best to breath. it made sense. Because for as long as I remember I can't feel the smell of burnt food without start crying.

I still don't know how I ended up taking care of them.
szarabasjka: (Wink)
I did something, I've been invited to participate in a serious writing competition,. I know, accourding to my LJ my grammar and so are veryu basic, but guess what? my 12 pages short story was good enough to be part of the final round.
so yeah... I'm a writer aside of everything else...

aside of that?
life is messy, hospital is okay and seems like I'm gonna have lots of free time.

bf mentioned before came back from Turkey not long ago and guess what? he's talking seriously about a family and kids and all that, I'm freaking out!

I kinda think this marriage/kids/family is seriously not for me.
but then, then I find the idea of being the only one around my friends that will never be a mother sad enough to feel angry with myself for being so selfish..
so yeah I'm confused

laundry and sleep!
szarabasjka: (Wink)
Okay so.. instead of having a bunch of decent things to say here I am with lots of madness...
for a Start, i have this weird crazy theory about Supernatural S9, what vessels the fallen angels are going to use?

and I'm thinking about the souls of those who were special on earth will gave them vessels.
So we will see Jo and Ellen, and Bobby and so and so several chaarcters back
it'll be awesome if we have Mom and even Dad back huh?

I was thinking about this epi where the angel of the week has no memory of what happened until when he entered Mary's body/memory and everythign he now remembers is bits and spuffs of mary Campbells Winchester's memory, so she stays in the bunker withthe boys, she cooks and bakes a pie for Dean and get to meet Sam and then? when they're all too comfortable... something happens and she remembers who she really is and the boys cry, Dean at first doesn't want to let her go, but in the end being the righteous man he just kisses her good bye as if it were his real mom and the angel goes.

It'll break my heart and still i can't wait.

I was thinking too about angel-now-human cas experiencing needs like going to the bathroom, or eating or not eating LOL.
and what if his human body now feels the wounds angel Cas healed, and has the scars angel Cas never felt, what if the guilt and sorrow for what happened to his wife and kid or to hsi second wife are too strong for him?

Then this little thing, as many know when I just came back i had a terrible hyper vigilance case with insomnia and panic attacks and anger management issues, right? so I got hooked on criminal minds and I still watch whenever I have the time.
this morning I was coming out of the shower, my bf was changing channels and the i found him engrossed on a CM epi, I heard this HUGE!!! gasp and then he was mumbling something, paying atention I heard "turn , turn, Damn it! turn around!!" I looked and saw him standing in front of the TV, it was the finale of S4 *I think* and the reaper was about to shot Hotch, I smiled and went back to brush my hair, he walked by two second after worried face and wild eyed "so... that guy... is the same Hotch that's STILL on the series right? he's not gonna die or anything right?" and it was so cute... I didn't tel him thou...
I know how mean of me, but anyway... I was thinking back then I wasn't even sure what show it was and the characters were hunky guy (Morgan) Hunky Nerd (Reid) Suit guy (Hotch) Old dude (Gideon/Rossi) Blondie (JJ) That other girl (Garcia) and Prentiss. Was it like that? for the fans I mean, not knowing what was about to happen?

If so, COOL!!

Third... I dreamed a dream last night, a dream of me and Dr S.. Why on earth would I dream with Dr S? I like the guy yes, I do but... not like that, he was being very suportive and cute in my dream and then whenI said it out loud, I dreamed with someone of this hospital last night *not the name of course* someone came withthe stupidest idea, "when someone is in your dreams is because he's thinking on you" and I freaked out enough to forget my keys...

Life is messy and I need lots of things to fix it..
szarabasjka: (Wink)
I'm going out on a friday night... OMG!! I'm going out... why am I this surprised?

btw I should check on the other post I have queued so they don't keep being posted without revising and editing.
szarabasjka: (Wink)

So F-listers I need a second of your time to read this, it's poorly written but someone is already working on the beta-ed edition,is it interesting enoug for you guys?

N/A:This is kinda formed complete, comes from thing that have never happened in the kind of life that carries you with your parents work all around 8 countries and almost 20 cities in few years.
N/A2:So you know.. this is a kinda never happened, don't ask and I won't lie to you kind of story.

Invissibles: Teaser
It just happens that certain people is not what we think they are, let's not meniton they tend to be in the weirdest places, as if they belong there but... have you seen them before? are they really there?

It was a regular job, he thought, he and his friend were getting into a house, it was empty most of the time, and a guy who  delivered something said there was a bunch of stuff in there, electronics, and expensive nicknacks.

He got in passing the high fence and got to the door, he felt something, yeah sometimes there's this lady at home, just one, she's easy, older, you'll have to control her, maybe if you hassle her a little she'll obey. he's been said, and it's okay with that plan.

He got his lockpick and started fumbling with it, when from the other side a guy opened the door
".. did you forgot your key or somet..." and gasped surprised, The mug hesitated but got his piece, old but useful smith&wesson .38 and pointed it to the guy
"be quiet, be quiet and you won't get hurt..."
"Then leave" said the guy, dark haired, his skin a tad too dark to be a latino, mideastern maybe? wasn't bulky, but obviously he was fit, and by the way he was behaving having a gun pointed at his face wasn't something new.
"I'll leave, just..." the second voice hit there, ruining everything, now he was sure he had to shoot them.
"Son? what happens who's...." the old lady they mentioned was there holding a piece of papaya on her hand, the Oh My Gosh forgoten on her lips, when a third person appeared, tall and built for a girl, she was holding some fruit and she disapeared, okay one less.
"stay back! stay back and I won't hurt you" But the girl was coming back a knife the size of her arm on hand and runing to him, the boy held the gun by the very back, his fingers holding the trigger so he couldn't shot, the old lady moved to a side letting her kids handle this. He finally could escape and leaving the gun behind ran to the door.

Out of nowhere he felt the cold and the sting of the knife in the back of his knee. and fell, from the door he could see the crazed eyes of his friend bailing him, running to save his life while the boy ran towards the door.
"who sent you" the cold voice of the girl hit him "who sent you" and the knife caressed the back of his other knee making him scream in pain and fear, he wanted to get up but his legs didn't obey, the pain when he tried was too much, the girl had severed his tendons "you have any idea where did you got in?" he shook no desperately "nobody just walks into one of our places without knowing... who sent you?!"
"The other left... sorry" said the boy, looking at the blood on the floor "you're messing everything up, Nerve stop it"
"Sure String, just... " and looking to the house before turning at him "he's gone, where do we put him?" she got closer, her knife finding a place between his ribs. Wait! were they talking about killing him? wanting to hide the body?
"there's some room in the barrel on the back yard, the other one must be almost gone by now..." she hummed
"Mom saw him though... you think she'll care?"
"oif course she'll care, she doesn't like when you do this ourselves" and motioned to the knife "I'm afraid the other will go to the police..."
"and say what?  that they were getting into a house and that we killed his friend?" she choked a lugh "who'd believe him?" he turned to the house and noticed their mother on the door "crap, she's looking"

The girl took out her phone and dialed by memory
"Duck? I have a cold one in my front yard do you have somewhere i can hide it?" and the voice from the phone made her jerk and pull it away "not my fault... the stupid mug came into the house to rob us, and ended up without flexors on both knees, I can't just drive him to a hospital he's seen us!!!"

the sound of a siren broke the silence and the boy cursed loudly
"get things ready" he said moving to the house, the lady came crying loudly and two cars entered the garage just seconds after the police car parked at the door, an older guy and two girls and a boy arrived. the knife disapeared from the girl's hand and a window appeared broken.

right when they were taking him out, no explanation, no questions, the girl got closer, feral look on her face "you just appear near here again and your two boys will die, you hear me?".he swallowed hard and nodded "good, nobody messes with US, nobody messes with invisibles, it took us too much to be this safe to have you ruining everything!" a cop got close she turned sobbing "I still don't know why...?"

"Aw, miss, this people.. they're just born bad, don't let him upsets you" and smiled at her offering her a hankie


So what you guys think?


Nov. 19th, 2012 09:45 pm
szarabasjka: (Wink)
So, it starts like long ago when a patient got conscious while we were on ER and kinda punched me, I noticed right then that I tendo to have my mouth tight and my teeth gritter whenever I'm under stress, so this time it wasn't even that bad...
but then last friday something happened I heard this crack and I was sure I chipped a tooth or something and decided I'll make an apointment with my doctor andf tah.. irght?
WRONG!! saturday I had this terrible pain, that needed even painkillers of the prescription kind and no chance to see the dcotor, Sunday I went to Dolf's dad burrial so no chance either and th epain was getting worst and worst...
today I went to see her and guess what?
I had to have my molar removed because the crack sound I heard was....*drumrolls please* the root of my teeth getting socked into my jaw... YEp... I got that far, so the doctor made a whole lot of a mess and set me for surgery today.. I went in at 10 and went out around noon minus a molar and feeling dizzy, let's not talk about me under drugs, that has to be funny, but since they had to drill my bone to get the rots off I have now a very very swallen face, and lots of pain, AAANNNDDD!! I can't eat anything solid at least until thursday, when they will remove the bands that are attaching my mouth closed...
I can't wait for this year to end, it only brought problems and freaky accidents
szarabasjka: (Default)
I kinda was dumped into the Stereck Bucket even before watching teen Wolf, seriously, I was convinced when I started watching the show that they were a couple.
but while I do support the show and them *for polls and so* I'm a longer time and bigger Supernatural fan and I support them over other shows like criminal minds so guess where I'm gonna vote?

Still not voting for either because Jensen finds it offensive, tho Misha finds it funny to no end, and because even if the kids joke about it, I'm sure they have their reservations about the subject, right?

they having fun with this side of fandom makes me quite uncomfortable, I'm not saying is wrong, I'm not saying I'm against I just don't see why should I vote...

I do not think it's that important I do not think it's gonna affect the fandom in anyway or the shows for that matter.

the ammount of hate showed for this on Tumblr and other sites is absurd....

maybe I'm just Mature old...
szarabasjka: (Default)
... if you remember with a smile that second in the first kiss, the exitment and the fear, the tingling nervousness and the feeling of hands/arms holding you, like wanting to keep you there when you'd fly away, like you were so delicate, when the heat from the other's skin is enough to make you believe life is perfect.
you think that moment is what real loves feels like?


Feb. 23rd, 2012 07:31 am
szarabasjka: (Default)
I had a couple weird dreams, wanna know why my dreams are intereting enough to create a whole entry for them? because:

a) I dreamt with Jared Padalecki. we were just walking towards the corner store and back, he went to buy Nuttela because hi wife *who by the love of God I cannot like even trying* had been craving it, and I needed coffee, so we went talking about life, regular things, how he mised his dogs, how he felt about being a dad, and he listening a long boring story of why did I broke with my bf and we laughed, we had like half an hour of insane talking, then he said he had to go back and left me like six block away from home... I woke up for a ER call and felt happy.

B) I dreamt with Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner, I wa oncall, and in real life we've been having problem with a gang bringing people seriously wounded and injuries that are very scary, andin the dream I was worried becaue the gang were attacking our front door, not even guards or police made them go back, I turned my head seeing most of the staff were women I told them "whatever happens you all move to the back to a room and lock the door" then I sat to put my shoes on, male shoes, looked up and saw him; Aaron was getting ready to go out, getting his gun ready, amgg on place and all, he turned for a second and he smiled at me reauringly and said "we're in charge of them? of this place security" and I was giggling like an idiot, then out of nowhere a bang woke me up and we had another ER run...

Those are the reason why I think my dreams are interesting enough to post.
szarabasjka: (Default)
as I tried to explain a friend that said:"(as if it were so simple) go for it if you want it"
well guess what? I DON'T
Kali: well he's been my chief since internship and we always had this long discussions about different topics and he always tried to piss me off with the most outrageous ideas, and then started the sexual remarcks, but after I said him to stop he did, apologuized and said he's my friend, and I bought that.
Allie : well maybe he does cares for you now
kali : he's the one guy I went to when I had problems, he was like a father figure at hospital and all. Once like two years ago he offered me a ride and I accepted and he held my hand, i just broke with my BF back then and he asked me "don't you want to have someone to hold like this?" I seriously thought it was a way to say i should be more open to relationships, you know as in an advise or something
Allie : uh-huh, you're so silly
Kali : LOL sorry to flood the whole screen
Kali : then once again we came out of surgery around 3am one night and he offered me a ride and wanted to hug me and then I simply avoided any time together alone with him ever since until last tuesday
kali : I still don't know why I accepted the ride, I thought he moved on then while we were going to the parking lot he asked if I was seeing someone, he's always interested in every intern or resident, so I said the truth. He asked me what kind of guy I was waiting for, and you know started saying stupid pick up lines as in joking
and out of nowhere said he always liked talking to me, and asked me if I had like half an hour so we could talk I kinda see it coming and still said yes kicking myself for doubting him
Allie : I don't see anything wrong on that, what's all the fuzz? you should get over the fear and start driving
Kali : suddenly we were at the door of a motel. I was seriously shocked!!!
Allie : Oh wow... now that's something *mouth-open icon*
Kali : he said he liked me since I was an intern, checked on my age a million times before force-kissed me
Allie : how did you got to a motel ?
Kali : he turned somewhere and he didn't stoped until we were outside the place. I, opened the door and said that if we didn't leave right then I'll go walking and he drove off, but instead of going home he parked and asked me if I got scared and telling all this crap about not being happy with his wife and then he kissed me.
he's prety much calling me everyday and I don't know what else to do
to complicate things I dropped my phone on his car.
Allie : So, that's why you weren't answering it?
Allie : They always say that, remember? you're the one, I knew it from the start and so...
kali : he said he likes me but never said anythingabout me being the one or anything, he asked thou if I wanted something and I said "not from you, but I kinda see it coming, and if it were M I wouldn't even think twice"
Allie : Right because talking about Dr M would ever help your case
Kali ; I don't know maybe... the case is that I asked someone else to go with me to pick my phone, he opened the door with this creepy lusty grin on his face that melted when he saw I wasn't alone.
Allie : wow... hey sorry I'll call you in a while okay? but my advise? don't think about this too much and if you feel like.. go for it! Cya

Go for it? seriously? great advise so-called friend...*pouts* not helping...
szarabasjka: (Default)
Okay what's the cry?
lets start with this...
since I started internship I had this doctor following me all the time, he used to make weird very sexual remarcks, and well I always dodged the ball being serious and being as far as him as posible, yet when he's kinda behaving decently we had great fun and a great time together as friends and colleages
But then he offered me a ride and I dumb me accepted, as a result we were talking and he finally had the guts to tell me he liked me since I was an intern and out of nowhere he kissed me, I'm still in shock...
the cry is here.. WHAT was I thinking to accept that?!
What shoud I do about that?
I think he's married!! FD's S I can't do this right now-.
szarabasjka: (Default)

life is a mess, had the craziest night last night...

I'm tired, I'm tired and need my bed, did nothing actually...
szarabasjka: (Default)
link related to nice stuff I saw last night and need to comment later, since tomorrow I'm notgonna be here

anyhow,... her eit is
szarabasjka: (Default)
so.. am I acting absurdly tryin to copy my teachers? I'm not as good as I thought I was and I'm getting more and more nervous, the fact that my times is ending irritates me to no end for no good reason.. and scares me lik eyu all have no idea. th estory, th eone I left in scratch will have to wait until tomorrow already, life has been messy but at least I have tomorrow

Germany lost, how bad, in the other hand the team is young and they're amazing, they have already millionary contracts for most of them and they're gonna be big names *they are in my bok* so even loosing they won
Ozil is 21 and I feel like such a cougar for liking his pretty face LOL, when the game ended all I could think was "aww, poor kids, wish they could see how great they look edon that big field agains all those big names"

and Noyer*SP?* the goalkeeper, he will be the next Kahn

OOOH BTW, the song? that song? here:

About S4

Nov. 8th, 2009 09:17 pm
szarabasjka: (Default)
From Percy Bysshe-Shelley


I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away".

Ok I have had some scoop on S4 SPN Sean and Ivana tried to sumarize stuff but they two failed!! THIS IS MUCH BETTER!
Dean... I love him he's so fucking good! MOnster movie made me laugh.
Sam Ieven fell for the big one, poor thing so confused and so pathetic!

I put a whole season on two days, that was interesting to say the least.

not sure if I'm staying,'cause a friend has a NGO thingy going on in South America and I'd love to go help him, what do you think? is not like I have lots of thigs to do staying here right now.


Nov. 4th, 2009 07:00 pm
szarabasjka: (Default)
my eyes burn, my head hurts and I get myself in a lot of trouble already...
I'm gonna be part of a Kick boxing tournament... just because...

saw the first part of SPN season 4 today and had lunch with my sisters because is Louise *the youngest* birthday, we laughed until I cried, and then came home had a bath, had a call from a friend that would have a job for me, at least something to fill my days while I decide what to do with the rest of my time... not sure what to say...

I'm starting gym tomorrow, just because I need the exercise, I need to get another keyboard aswell.. this one is making me MAD!!!*flames out of my mouth*

at least had the chance to be near to Sean without the extra presure of being quiet when is about violence we both have lots of things to say LOL
szarabasjka: (Default)
did nothing but prepare mysef for tomorrow, ad to write a million letters just in case, stil don't know what's gonna happen

Slipknot is great...
OH!1 btw I found this in Growyourwings journal

I don't know if ask for luck or what.

szarabasjka: (Default)

NOW, its very important.
*please don't kill me? I couldn't resist it since some of you tend to be way too dramatic to my taste*weird look at Hi5 lurkers

we need as many votes as posible.
ok about serious matters, the meeting got cancelled and I'm staying here biting my nails until monday..
I'm actually more calmed, kinda gave up any hope, and things are less and less scary, even tried my uniform this afternoon, I can't believe how much weight I gained lol*blush* just in case I shud start working out.

uncle Freddy already signed out a meeting with my parents and family for monday ight, just in case, we can always cancel it if things goes well.
lets just say it out loud:WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT!!
szarabasjka: (Default)
I dont want to be the one
The battles always choose
'Cause inside I realize
That I'm the one confused

lol, suonds awfully good right now,did I mentioned I'm dusting my entire Metal/rock collection? no more pop for me.
tomorrow I have this meeting to knwo what's gonna happend with the letter, and why did I ignored the two before┬┐ I still can't find a reason in my head.
so lets brighten up the day.
btw with the letter in hands I've been excused from Hosp until monday... now it feels like is real.

szarabasjka: (Default)
I haven't comented this yet because I was sure that my residency will help but I'm been drafted!!! I'm in reserve, that's true, but I'm a qualified MD I'm not suposed to be drafted like that, even tried to excuse myself...
now this is the last thing I need, I just get free again, I just solved things out in my life and this?*sigh*

lets see what happens even if I have to call Georgie himself I'm not going anywhere.

have this bitter taste in my mouth, with all the what if's, things could be so much worse for what I know, God *sigh while rub her eyes* this can't be good
I wanted to travel, guess my wish is granted lol how ironic.
need to ask some of the guys if they have the same letter, I don't want to be there alone.
what am I going to tell to my family.

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