I was thinking about that first time, not the very first time -that was... you know.. as all first times crappy- but the first time with him, back in 2003 it was september the 14th and it was around 4pm, I was out of the office and he was there too, we were at his place doing mushroom's soup and laughing because he couldn't make toasties, and I was laughing so hard seeing him run around with the smoking pan that he finally toseed into the sink, I was almost crying he came to me saying that i was mean for laughing and held my arms saying that he'll do something bad to stop me, tried to cover my mouth it caused even more laugh, I remember his laugh just giggles and then we both we're laughing, I remember that the most, then for two minutes the time stoped his lips brushed mines and I was cold no more laughs.
I was sure my crush on him was hopeless, I mean he was so fucking gorgeous and I was just... you know, me... I was there standing looking at him, he bitrng his lips staring at me with those amazingly blue eyes, he said he sorry and moved away, we kinda stoped talking for a while until I couldn't help it and asked him why me? why he wanted to play with me like that
"because is not a game, I like you, you're beautiful, don't you know that?"
and there I was crying saying that I'm not beautiful at all after all the mean things I've done in my life, he got close saying that i need a shrink if I actually believe so and huged me and kissed me first on the forehead then in the cheek then in the lips again and I was prepared this time, we made out, we gropped and kissed for a while.
the rest just came with the minutes.
interesting thing if you ask me, I had this weird feeling today thinking about back then.
Tomorrow I'll be back to the hospital to start my last month this year, can you believe it? I SO hope I can get residency there, maybe I need to change hospital I couldn't care less as long as I can get something ASAP.
dreaming about him after all this time, why I have to see him every now and then with her, and her as usual, being the bitch she is. I remember I was so jealous lol so long time ago...
Guy for today Mr. WELL-KNOWN His Royal Aussiness Heath Ledger please do not open it if you're under 18 ( not_work_safe )
and please don't say I didn't warned you all...
For a start why are you reading this?