szarabasjka: (Default)

isn't he a darling!!??

I just love that song, its kinda sad and I love the mening of it, esp since my life is not preciselly easy. I'm feeling kinda sad

this one is just for the fun

have all of you a great chrsitmas, I know even with my parents and theur nonsense I will.


Dec. 22nd, 2009 05:26 pm
szarabasjka: (Default)
I swear to God I didn't made this up, its just the way it was Iraq included and all LOL

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

This year I've been busy!

Last month I farted in an elevator (-6 points). In February I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points). In June I punched [ profile] dienw in the arm (-10 points). In April I didn't flush (-1 points). Last Sunday I gave [ profile] annabeth_fics a life-saving blood transfusion (50 points).

Overall, I've been naughty (-979 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!


Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

I'm tired

Dec. 3rd, 2009 09:19 pm
szarabasjka: (Default)
I've heard that Ranzi the tall dark and italian is gone, he were fired, amogn with moe people and I'm feelingvery very lucky!

I had Poddie today and the lady Olivieri, interesting!

I'm feeling ok, tired as hell and smelly, arrived from gym and refuse to shower!
szarabasjka: (Default)
ok I kinda throwed a pitty party yesterday but there's alot of thigsa to be grateful,esp in my current state.

I'm grateful that after all I lived, and afgter all I went throught during the last 20 months I still have hope and the security that life will go on.

I'm grateful because I have good friends that will never let me down, and that I'll die for them.

I'm grateful I have a roof over my head and someone to share all of it.

I'm grateful because even thou I had lots of bad things there were some good ones too.

I'm grateful for Bone, for Ivana, Gloria, Gim, for Daniel being ok, for JO and his adorable kid, for my half brother the bastard that thaugt me what i don't want to be.

I'm grateful for uncle Freddy who is always a friend and a paternal figure.

I'm grateful for Ada, Dearest Carlos and for his family that keep him happy and safe when I cannot be around.

I'm grateful for my new mom, and for the fact that she's not in need of chemo.

I?m grateful For Tony and all his support when things were different and his patience with all this.

I'm gratefulfor my parents even if I don't understand them, because they gave me so much, for my sisters and because they are here now, and because we went shopping and I have new cute clothes that means nothing but feels like so much when I remember the time we shared and I missed so much.

I'm grateful for new and old adventures, for crazyness and idiocy that shows me that I'm alive and well.
I'm grateful because eventhou there are million things that needs to be changed I'm her eto change them.

I'm grateful for the hospital, most of my doctors, most of my friends, even for the new two faced interns that look at me like crap and force me to work harder.

I?m grateful for the meal I had yesterday and the water I drank not an hour ago, because there was times when I wanted just one mouthfull of water and bread and there was none.

HELL!! there is a long list more that I was ignoring, and I'm grateful because I finally snaped out of it and I'm starting to live again.


Nov. 26th, 2009 08:59 pm
szarabasjka: (Default)
the song by Duffy, Just love it!!

I'm home, there's not much I could do, I told family I wasn't going because I had the hospital.

then at hospital my darling Dr V sent me home because I arrived not a month ago and sure as hell I'd like to spend the day with family, so here I am, alone and loving it.

saw everyone today, Dr. S my dearest surgeon, the one who operated me, then Dr. Hill and I was dancing on one feet, Saw Dolf Parrado this week aswell and I went into OR with him, thought that going back as soon as they let me was the best thing. now not so sure...

the only contact I had with them today was a chat with my sister and her promotion and her boss and her trip tonight and whatnot, lets not mention I find all the huff a little bit stupid and everything shallow.

tried the gym but no-one was there. the worse part is that I have a ling weekend ahead and without hspital.

ayway happy turkey day to all of you

Happy thanksGiving!
szarabasjka: (Default)
Tired, still not sleeping much, but in a better mood, tomorrow at 2pm I have a meeting with the Surgery chief and the Hospital director.. my life depends on that, lets see what happens.
cross your fingers please...

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From werlecar on IMDb

Pay attention to the first two judges, they set the tone for the 3rd judge the star of the cook off......!

NEW MEXICO CHILI COOK OFF......... .......

If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chile cook-off in New Mexico . Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.

For those of you who have lived in New Mexico , you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza . Judge #3 was an
inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL .

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light

truck, when the call came in... I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:


Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the he!! is this

stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. It took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.


Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang..

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.


Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chile. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.


Judge # 1 -- Black bean chile with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chile.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chile an aphrodisiac?


Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chile. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chile using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chile had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.


Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chile. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.


Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chile with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chile peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about judge number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chile, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too
painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.


Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice
blend chile. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chile. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chile pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chile?

Judge # 3 - No Report.


Nov. 4th, 2009 07:00 pm
szarabasjka: (Default)
my eyes burn, my head hurts and I get myself in a lot of trouble already...
I'm gonna be part of a Kick boxing tournament... just because...

saw the first part of SPN season 4 today and had lunch with my sisters because is Louise *the youngest* birthday, we laughed until I cried, and then came home had a bath, had a call from a friend that would have a job for me, at least something to fill my days while I decide what to do with the rest of my time... not sure what to say...

I'm starting gym tomorrow, just because I need the exercise, I need to get another keyboard aswell.. this one is making me MAD!!!*flames out of my mouth*

at least had the chance to be near to Sean without the extra presure of being quiet when is about violence we both have lots of things to say LOL

I'm home

Nov. 3rd, 2009 08:04 pm
szarabasjka: (hook)
and I've been for a while, things have changed, that's true, things are less messy and less inocent that used to, I'm old, I was old when I left, and I only got older...

suddenly I feel like life is no longer important, at least not the life I had before all this, suddenly light is brighter and even simple watter tastes better, and then the things that used to be bliss for me are shallow and stupid and so irrelevant.

I arrived home a saturday morning to find my place just like I left it, even my dirty laundry was there, dust over my stuff 'cause my sisters knows I don't like people touching my stuff, and I feel in bed and slept, slept for like an hour, feeling finally home but I was restless, I've spent the rest of the time trying to get some sleep, I'm here for a while now and I finally am doing some laundry, I saw Bone and we only had troubles, there was nothing to talk about, we went to my once fav coffee shop to sit oin front of each other for like an hour without saying a word... I mean, he used to be my best friend and there's nothing I could tell him... I've seen things I've done things, and I cannot express in words how I feel about it, I'm not sure if I'm ready to share stuff, even now that I finally can, I tried, damn I tried to be me just arriving, going out and doing stuff, but couldn't, walked the whole city, passing streets and streets, seeing people and being alone, but open spaces made me nervous and even a small noise make me jump, laughter once one of my fav sounds ever sounded like a mock and I couldn't stand it, kids that used to annoy me make me want to cry.

went to a park to feed doves, sat on small places by myself trying to find myself, went to see people at the hospital, and one of my old nurses called me the John Carter of my hospital because after almost two years I still know more about that place than new residents, I need to talk to the chief to see if there's anything I could do to go back, I need to know if there's still at least a part of my old life I can take back, even though I think my dreams are different now, if there's any left.

weird as it is is hot for this time of the year, I'm afraid, and it took me like ten minutes to type that, afraid of myself and to sleep, I closed my eyes alone on this place and felt people calling my name and the same feeling when someone poke you to keep you awake when you have to, when other's lives depends on it, and I was awake again and was imposible to fell asleep, last night finally slept for more than an hour and it only caused me to feel worse.

I have like a million different kind of cookies people keep bringing for me, and I'm tired, is like I hadn't had enough water for a life time, I'm tired of the look people throw at me, like I'm sick or ruined, or... ruined, I'm tired of the tone they use, like they know what it was like, like they know what I've done, like they know how it feels.

But is worse when people try to act like I never left, they talk about stuff I didn't know have happened and I feel out of place, sometimes I feel like going back just to be in my own safe *oh the irony* enviroment

what makes me laugh is that even if i try nothing taste the same, nothing feels the same, nothings looks good enough and I feel like I'm poluted, like I'm darker in someway and that I turn bitter everything, because people just stares at me...

on sat night I went to a party dressed up and we even had fun, then out of nowhere a band of kids started teasing me, for God know's what reason and all I could think about was to kill them, in how easy was to get them on the floor, no tbecause I needed to because I wanted to... but do I really want to? am I the animal I feared to become?

there are so many things I try to forget and not to talk about, and I'm not gonna vent here, no, not because is safe and now I can write anything I feel like, because here we're all faceless and there's no risk of being caught, no... I'm not that weak, I've dealed with more than just few months of that, I've faced worse things than bullets and screams, and I'm not gonna vent here like some kind of sorry-ass wuzz.

Actually think I needed to put this down so I can make heads and tails and fonally digest it and put it behind.

I finally saw Watchmen, finally saw Appaloosa, and My Bloody Valentine in 3D, I went to see my parents and my mother was happy , my father, well he asked how long it'll take for me to be full civilian again... it'll take like 45 days, he's not pleased... I'm the black sheep nothing else to his eyes. and I couldn't care less, so...
at the end of this long loong tirade... I have to say I'm back I missed you all, and I still miss most of you because I did all so low profile that must of my friends in real and ciber life haven't heard yet.

I'm not sure what's gonna happen with my life, but I'll try to do something decent, at least for a while,right now all I want is some more water and peace, once the sleep came back the other problems left and I became more me i'll be ready to face life.

my best regards to all

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