szarabasjka: (Wink)
Yeah... I know nobody actually read my fics even less original stories, but now and then I need to read some because I kinda want to edit and enhace bits and so.. and I have to go all the way scrolling down to 2004 and it's annoying since I never actually kept them in one magic post...

Here we go:

Ufinished )
SUPERNATURAL )
Dean Winchester's Birthdays series )
CRIMINAL MINDS )
ORIGINAL STORIES )
Like Real Life series )
Others )
szarabasjka: (Default)
Tittle: You know... Right?
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: Family
Characters: John Winchester, Mary Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and mention of others
Rathed; G, family
Spoilers: hints of S3
Summary: Sometimes he remembers What is and what will never be

A/N: I tend to think in the weirdest things while preparing myself for stress, this one came from a dream, in my dream someone who passed away long ago wanted me to know he loves me, even not telling everyone around.
***
Dean was thinking about one day specifically, the day he heard of his dad passing away.
he remembers the way he just sat, the loud sound in his ears, not sure if it was his heart, or his voice, or someone else, or a train crashing against the house. He couldn't tell for how long he sat down on the spot, or how long it took Mom to get there.

Now his eyes sting thinking about the first time he fixed the car with him.
It was the first day of School when he was 16, Sammy just turned 12 and the giant freak was already his height.

It was still warm and he was ready for school quite early, and then he moved to check on Dad, he was fixing the old car in the garage "Dad?" and the raspy voice sounded from under it "here... help me out kid... " and Dean helped him out from where h ewas trapped, getting stains of grease on his hands. "I want to get this ready as soon as posible" Dad said hiding his face, not wanting Dean's reading it was his present for Christmas, that's why his parents didn't let him buy the stupidly expensive jeep he wanted.

"D!!" Mom was at the door hands in hips and serious face "we're waiting!" But she smiled seeing her boys together, her eyes locked with her husband for a second "you'll fix the misstress when you're back from school D, move... and wash your hands. Now" Dean smiled and passed next to her while she spoke to John "you're gonna ruin the surprise..."
"Yeah" he said sighing "I'm so excited..." and caressed the car with the goofiest smile.
"HEY hands off, I'm watching you..." and leaned to kiss her husband both smiling.
"Oh my God...." Sammy at the door rolling his eyes "Why can't I have normal parents?"
"'cause you're cursed Samuel now go..." John pushed lightly his Wife and playfully smacked her in the ass, smiling even harder when she throwed him a murderous glare and Sammy frowned disgusted.
"go get your brother" Mary caressed Sammy's hair but he flinched away combing his hair with his hand
moaning a Mooooom.
***
"So... you'll be okay?" asked Mom to the rear mirror when they arrived to school, Sam was hidding on the seat.

"yeah yeah... just..." huffed and opened the door and waited for Dean while he kissed his mom's cheek "Come on!! Dean!! you're a freaking nerd!" Dean left the car to get in front of him

"For kissing my mom in front of your friends?" Dean spat angry "then I don't care" and smiling to Mom "see you tonight", Dean and Sam are close, they walk back from school together, and it makes Mom happy to know they're always watchong each other's back, even if she knows they had a fight few days ago when Sam started making dark remarks on how Dean left the footballteam, and lacross team, and track team because he's focusing on HIS grades, the idea made Sam huff and call him names for days, mom knows just as Dad knows but was one of those things they call "the boys thing" and they're sure their Sons would settle things up by themselves.

"Bye Mom" Dean says

"Bye darling, you know I love you right?" And Sam feels he's about to pass out of shame

"Yes mom, I love you too.." Dean's stupid big grin makes Sam want to punch him in the face.

"Bye baby" Mom yells to Sammy "you know I love you right?"

"Yeah yeah..." he says and moves away, Dean stays there for a minute looking at his baby brother while Mom drives away.

It happens pretty much every day, and every day Dean is more and more pissed with Sammy.
One day he just can't stand it anymore and push Sam out of his way and stop talking to him all of a sudden.

One specific morning Dean leaves the car kissing mom in the cheek trough the Drivers window and ignoring Sam all the way to the school and is the same on the way home.

"C'mon Dean what did I do? Is it about me being in the football team now? 'cause I wanted to play with you, that's the whole point of..." Dean finally turns.

"No, is not about the team, I don't care about those idiots! Is about how you act around Mom and Dad, you never listen to what Dad has to say, and he's always more worried about Oh perfect Sammy than he'll ever be for me" Sam groans, is not true, but looks like it's true, even to him.

"And you disrespect Mom in front of the whole school!!!" Dean continues arms rised "what do you want me to say? I can't take it anymore, if I see you doing it again, I'm gonna pounch you in the face one day and I don't want to!!" and kept walking, Sam stays there for one second and moves, anger filling his brain of incomplete ideas and stupid things to say to hurt his brother, but he does hear Dad, He've said a million times, that you have to think the words you say because once they leave your mouth they can hurt more than anything else and even if it only last a second the wound they causes last forever.

"Is not my fault that you have no self-respect, or that you like to kiss your own mom in public..." he says finally "Is not Normal to be 16 and be so attached to your mother Dean...!" Dean Stops and turns again.

"You don't remember Sammy, I get that..." and Just like Dad, Dean breaths deep and sighs slowly "that's why you still have your teeth in place... " and keeps walking.

"What? What is that I don't remember huh? WHAT!!" he yells and stays behind, Dean turns and Sam is getting tired of that, he's not a fucking DOG!

"THE FIRE you idiot!!!" and Sam gasps, he've heard that, when he was six months old there have been a fire in the house, that started at his nursery, Dad had to carry Mom out and Dean saved him, Mom stayed in the hospital for months, and that's why she never wears short sleeves, or skirts or dresses, because of the scars, that's why Dad is always around the house, he knows about the woman Missouri who helped them while they were left alone,and during the years when she needed physical therapy, how that lady used to tell him stories of monsters and ghosts and how it scared him Shitless and How Dean used to fight her for scaring his Sammy. He knows.

"But what does that has anything to do with your Oedipo complex?" And that's it, even if Sam regrets his words Dean gets close and his hands stays just milimeters away from his face.

"Do you have any idea how close we were to be orphans? I still have nightmares, I remember her, twisted and still, fire all over her, and even If I wanted to help I couldn't, I had to take care of you, for Dad, for Mom and for you... what if she died back then?" and Dean sighs "there's a boy at school, one of the seniors, his mom died last may, and he's.. he just..." Dean sighs and shakes his head "it could've been us Sammy, can you imagine a life without her? where would we be? you think Dad would live without her?" and Sam brow raises "you think that... let's face it, I love the man and all but he alone? raising us? we would be some kind of freaks bro, and now you choose to waste Mom feeling ashamed of her saying she loves you? be grateful you have someone that loves you like that Sammy..." and he keeps walking leaving Sammy behind. "like when she travels without warning, I'm always scared she won't be back..." somewhere in the middle of that Sam had to bite the words "It's SAM, not Sammy", those words feel not right at the moment.

***
Dad arrives when they already at the table, and washes while looking from Dean to Sam and then to Mary, they're quiet and looking down, he moves his head and she makes a face, that's enough, they had a whole conversation with just that.
"So how was your day?" Mary asks and smiles
"Fine!! it was a great day... things are... huh... seems like things are getting better finally" he bends on the chair and looks to the boys "and... how was yours?"
"Great! too" Mary Smiles "joust.. you know... Bobby called, Rufus and him are... well... they found a lead on something" JOhn's quiet, Dean looks straight to his mom, he knows there's something else, that she'll be leaving soon. Dad let the words fall for them both
"Sweetheart, You..." She raises a hand smiling to John and her Son.
"No, I'm not going, just doing research for them" and John moves to kiss her with an okay and a sigh of relief, Sam groans.
"What?" Dean almost yells and Sams resumes his staring at his plate.
"you okay boys?" asks Dad in his no-bullshit voice.
"Yeah... I'm just... " Dean shrugs and keeps tossing his potatoes around his plate
"I swear the food is okay... just try it, okay?" Mom asks and Dean and Sam look at her startled.
"it's delicious!" both say at the same time
"then eat it, and try to act like a family you two..." finish Dad
***
"DDG" Mom calls when Dean left the car, she's been calling him that since she heard princess Diana uses it for her son, and since he heard what it means Dean's smile is bigger when she calls him that, so he goes back to the car, she's opened the door and open her arms and he without any reservation hugs her in front of his class, Sam is pretty much running away. hearing his mom calling him baby a couple times and sweetie, a couple too.
"Sam Winchester!" Mom shouts and he stops dead on his tracks to see Dean still holding her "come here Mister" she says and he has to go back "I'm gonna be away for a couple days, maybe a week Sammy, be good" and moved a hand, Sam flinches looking behind to his friends "Oh right... " Mom smiles sad and turns to Dean once more "go now, my angel... you're gonna be fine" but he doesn't leave.
"Just... just... be safe okay? and come home..." Mary's eyes fills with tears and holds her oldest son kissing his forehead
"I will my baby..." hugs him once more and then waves to Sam "bye boys... you know right? that I love you?"
"I love you too Mom" Says Dean, Sam still too shocked, she is leaving just like Dean feared, and then they turn and start moving towards the school door, suddenly Sam stops "I'm suck a jerk..." he says looking at Dean's tears, and running back screams for his mom to wait
"What's wrong baby?" Mom has her arms up and he just fly to them "Honey, is okay it's only a week"
"I love you Mom, I do, I'm sorry..." and she does what Mom's all around the world should do, she hugs him tight and kisses his floppy hair
"Nothing to sorry Sammy, I know you love me, I just... know..." she shrugs just liek Dean, making this funny face, and then pulls him away to clean his face "your friends are staring.." But Sam hugs her again.
"I don't care..." the sweet vibration from her laughter make him feel safe
"I will be back soon hun, I will, just... be good okay?" and to Dean, who suddenly was there "take care of him" And Dean's hand lands on his shoulder "God, it is hard to leave you too..." and hugs them both once more "now go, make me proud."

Mom left that day and it took her ten days to be back, by then all his boys were desperated for her.

Dean remembers that because it's the first thing that came to his mind when Dad had the heart attack, he remembers because of the girl, Sam is asking him to say something, Sam keeps asking him the name of the girl who sang at their father's service... and then the sound of a horn wakes him up

"KELLY CLARKSON!!!" Sam laughs, he has all the right to laugh, if he were inside Dean's dream he'd laugh even more. but now and then, Dean wishes he had his mom, even a little longer, he wishes he had that family from his dreams.
szarabasjka: (Default)
Tittle: The song remains the same
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: Family
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam WInchester, Castiel and mention of others
rathed; G
Spoilers: No
Summary: There is only one Song for the Winchesteres, and there will alwys be the same.

A/N: I use to think in the craziest things while preparing for Stress, this one came after I ead tumblr post:
I JUST THOUGHT OF DEAN VISITING CAS IN THE MENTAL HOSPITAL AND HE LAYS IN THE BED HOLDING CAS SINGING HEY JUDE TRYING TO CALM HIM DOWN.
asssbutt:


Dean passed the door and hisheart broke, he'd give alost anything in the world for the guy tied to that bed, he'd give everything to take back his words, his accusations, until he saw the clear eyes clouded with pain and fear.

"Hey.." the only word his dry troath and chapped lips formed, he wasn't coherent enough to understand anything else, fighting his tears got close, the doctor called, told him he had a bad day and worst night, screaming that someone or something was ripping his flesh apart and spent the night shuting calling for him.

"I'll leave you two alone..." said the woman who drove him to the room, and Dean got close wishing the eyes at least could focus on him.
"dean." the whimper that left those lips finally caused the tears to fall, and Dean held him close "he said he'd kill you, he said... " tired eyes turned to a side, to the small table
"is he here? now?" and the sick one nodded
"he's been singing metallica since yesterday, and he said he had you... and he..." his hand traveled to hold Dean's sleeve "please... don't go" and sobbed "I'm afraid".Dean wrapped his arms around the other man's shoulders and pulled close
"don't be, I'm here now, everything will be alright while I'm here..." but the sobs didn't subside, instead he stiffened and cringed scared.
"what? what is he doing?" the head hiding in his chest mumbled
"He's screaming... damn megaphone..." Dea's hands traveled to his ears and blue eyes opened focusing on green ones
"Shhh... " a shadow on the door's small window called his atention "I'm here. yuo'll be fine, he can't hurt you..." moved back to the headboard to rest his head against it pulling the lighter man with him "calm down Cass... I'm here" turned to the door and saw his brother there, it used to work with Sam, "we vanquished a inari demon..." he said "nasty creepy spider bitch... I get to use a ninja sword..." Cas whipered agasin and Dean started rocking him again. "what happens..."
"he's showing me Sam's head..." whimpered Castiel "tell me Sam is okay..."
"he's fine... he's just fine... look he's outsude the door" But Cas didn't moved his head telling he only saw souls in pain out there "close your eyes Cas, I'm here, I'm here you'll be fine..." and Cas started sobbing again.
Dean kept rocking while singing Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Na na na, na na, na na na na


until Cas fel asleep
"Sleep child... you'll be fine" Assured Dean and kept singing.
Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude, don't be afraid
You were made to go out and get her
The minute you let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder
Na na na, na na, na na na na

Hey Jude, don't let me down
You have found her, now go and get her
Remember to let her into your heart
Then you can start to make it better

So let it out and let it in, hey Jude, begin
You're waiting for someone to perform with
And don't you know that it's just you? Hey Jude, you'll do
The movement you need is on your shoulder
Na na na, na na, na na na na, yeah

Hey Jude, don't make it bad
Take a sad song and make it better
Remember to let her under your skin
Then you begin to make it better
Better, better, better, better, better, oh!
and when he feels the weight of his angel friend go heavier, relaxed, more real he starts agau and again for as long as they let him stay in the room.
***
"Your brother is a fucking Saint...." Meg was almost in tears too, she've lost weight and had dark circles under her eyes "is the first time I see Cas asleep since you two left." She sagged and held Sam's arm breathing deep almost in tears.
Sam, he just feels guilt and sorrow, he's ashamed to admit he's reliefed he's not in Castiel's place.
szarabasjka: (Default)
the one I missed
yet I wrote this before
CLOWNS
NEEDS A BETA but I like it just the way it is right now

I'm Batman

Mar. 26th, 2012 08:54 pm
szarabasjka: (Default)
Tittle: I'm Batman
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: Family
Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam WInchester, John Winchester
rathed; G
Spoilers: No
Summary: Dean is Aweome, Dean is Batman
A/N: I tend to think on the weirdest things while preparing for stress, this one comes from the time when I had noone at all I found a Batman.


It was early february, he remembers, the first time he thought about it, it was very late and he just ganked that stupid angry spirit that hurt Dad.

The hug he get for his trouble and split open lip was enough to make him feel fine, Sammy was asleep in the backsit while Dad was singing along with the music, Kansas used to make Dean feel sad, but not this time, Dad's smiling and singing softly, his hands tappin on the wheel.

"That was great Dean" he said turning his proud face to his son "You're gonna be a Hell of a Hunter when you grow up..." and caressed his head, fingers tickling the short hair "you'll be a great hunter and we will be a team..." smiled and checked on Sam on the mirror "we all, the three of us..." Dean felt weird, proud and scared at the same time.

Then it hit him, yeah it might be the first time he helped dad, and it might be the first time he killed a monster, but that showed just one thing, he was like a Superhero, the lady the one that was being haunted by the spirit of his stepfather. she hugged dad first then dean and she kissed his cheek, and Dean felt it, like in the comics he had righ under Sammy's head on his duffel.

"where did you took that?" Dad was frowning at the comic on his hand
"from the store..." Dean pointed to the one they just left
"you had no money son... did you..." and Dad gasped "you stole that magazine?" Sammy was giggling on Dad's arms
"yeah..." Dean didn't understood why Dad was so worked up about it
"you're not supposed to steal stuff!!"
"but... but... Dad we just took, Sammy's diapers and..." pointed to the mac-n-cheese boxes, Dad shook his head no and sighed
"No Kid... it's different, we need this, and Sammy needs them, if I had a job or we had any money left we would buy them instead of lifting them, okay? stealing stuff just for the sake of it..." and motioned with his head no.


Dean remembers that, and remembers Dad coming home two nights ago after a very good night hustling poker with five comics, all of batman, all about Jason Todd, the new Robin, all but the last one, and Dean started thinking there was noone cooler than batman, and Robin, And after reading that Jason was a thief made him more sure he was The Robin here... Dad was all Batman was, except for the millionare part... but who needs money when you have awesomeness?

there in the middle of the night, on a random road, with Dad smiling and singing he started changing the words on Dad's lips "I'm batman" he murmured and smiled Dad turned to him.
"try to catch some sleep" said Dad tossing his huge leather jacket over him, it smelled like gun powder and soap, smelled like Dad, And Dean closed his eyes, as long as the smell were there Dad will be there with him.

Years latter he was wearing the Jacket when he lost Dad, but never anything hurt him more than his own joke
"I'm batman" he said to Sam, and had to keep his tears until Sam was asleep, if Dad was gone... yeah he was the new Batman
szarabasjka: (Default)
Tittle: Don't you cry
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta not yet
gender: Family
Characters: John WInchester, Dean Winchester, Sam WInchester and mention of others
rathed; G
Spoilers: No
Summary: Sometimes he wishes he could have donne things different.

A/N: writing this story I've cried more than in the last three years


little by little
I've come to this point
on my own I've been searching my way


It is Dean who notices Dad's change, music is the first thing he notices, he used to let the same tape go on and on, mostly good ol' rock, but now... this synfonic thing is... different, and he's not the one to ask him to change to something else.
It started right after Sammy left, It still hurts Dean and Dad's not even talking about it. Dean went to Bobby and he just smiled and held him close, ignoring the fact that his shirt was wet and that Dean was sobbing.

John knows, John was just one door away kicking himself for not conforting his son, he knew that if Sam leaving left him incomplete it was ten times worst for Dean, the boy's life was to make Sam happy.

But he did it because it had to be done, he had a million ways to make him stay, But Sam was not Dean, his mind was ready for everything, but not his heart, Sam craved a different life like he once did. And a much as it hurts he was willing to give his son the chance to find his own way. The words harsh as it were still burn inside his heart, in his mind and bring tears to tired, used to this shit eyes...

I lost you so early
the days went so fast
you don't know I prayed every day


John is standing behind a column, people walking around looking at him like the fly in the milk, it's Dean's first hunt alone, because he needed time to check on Sam, Dean is strong and brave and he's ready, he wish he could be man enough to say his son there's nothing else he could teach him, that he's proud of him, that he loves him and that every time he looks into his eyes he see his Mary looking back *how wrong that sounds?* he remembers Dean's eyes on him the first time right after he was born, all he wanted was to See Mary, but he couldn't pass the craddle without getting glued to those tinny open eyes, so big, and so green and fix on him he'd swear over his soul he saw one of those smiles, the ones that show that Dean knows how handsome he is, the little devil, right there in the tiny face, it amazes him that Dean never grow from that innocent look, after all this, after the girls and the horrors.

The first night when Dean was crying silently on his arms while Sammy slept as if nothing had happened in the back sit of the car John knew there was something in Deanny, that he'd be the one close to him, always, Sam always felt like a borrowed blessing while Dean was his baby, HIS son.

He felt like a bastard for thinking that, for making Mary cry, because he's sure she'd cry if she ever hears him talk about their baby like that. Sometimes wishes his boy could forget everything, like something, a spirit, a djin, something could come to Sam and erase his memories, he sometimes, like right now seeing him smiling and hanging out with his friend holding his girl's hand, like there's no evil in this world, he wishes

a song to remember
a song to forget


Dean is the one that did his best, Yet Dean is the one he's sure has no idea how much he loves them, how could his perfect son think he's not making his dad proud of him, when everything makes him special, because John might have teached him how to hunt, and the rules, and all, but there's something else, a gentle soul, a tender heart, a honor and righteousness unearthy on his boy.

He had no right to lash out on him, but as someone made him understand he was just protecting his weaker son.

you'll never know how I tried
to make you proud
and to honor your name but
you never told me goodbye


When John left, when he had to leave his boys alone, his heart died, he regrets everything that came out of his mouth, but it was what had to be done.

Someone showed him when his boys burnt his body, he could hear Sam saying a prayer for him, while His Dean was asking why, why he left him, why he said that, why...

Dean is the one always taking care of things, since he was four, he used to drink more than he should, used to neglect the baby to get up surprised he was drunk sleeping again, to find him bathed tucked in bed, always clean and fed, Dean... Dean never had someone like that, maybe Bobby, John feels jealous of how easy Bob makes Dean smile, and how easy is for his son to tell the man everything he's always keeping away from him, even if he gave him "The Talk" is Bobby who gave him the best advises, and the one Dean's goes for condoms that first time.

That's why he stoped, that's why he kept sober for long time, to make it up for Dean to find him way too busy trying to be the perfect son, the perfect soldier not needing him more, Sam didn't need him either, he had Dean...

now that your are gone
casting shadows from the past
you and all the memories will last


Dean Still remembers the only time Dad took them to the carnival, Dean won a teddy bear for Sammy, Dad bought tickets for the wheel and Sam screamed like a girl the whole time held by the hand by both Dad and him, hid his face in Dad's neck for hours almost crying of fear and shame for it, he was only eight but Sam was always way too different from Dean.
John remembers so many things from the sleepy kid in way too big pajamas holding his baby brother when Sam broke his first teeth, to the teen with freshly cut hair going out on his first date, He remembers Sammy first day at school and the last fight, the moment Sam said: "This is not the life I want for me... I want more than monsters and blood, me and my brother deserve more than your vengeance." It hurt, hurt so deep, the same words once Jim said Mary told him, right after leaving with him, leaving her life behind, How could he do this to Sam? so he did the most painful thing ever, he let his son Go.

don't you cry
or suffer over me
I will be waiting for you
don't you cry
angels never fade away
I'll be watching over you
see you through


Sam and Dean crying burning his body, better than seing his perfect Son broken and unconscious on a bed, better than having Sammy crying his eyes dry for his brother even if he puts his all Winchester trade mark poker face. At first he's not sure if its true or just one of the first tortures in hell.
John wanted to be there for his boys and not even Sam's resentement made him change his mind.

now I'm a man and
I'm feeling you still
could it be you were there all along
a time to surrender
a time to forgive
with solace I give you this song

Sam felt sad since he was nine and found out what Dean never wanted to talk about, felt lost since the moment he understood, right when Dean didn't even showed Dad the college applications every teacher gave him, when Dean gave up his life for Dad, for the family, for the hunting. But the sadness that filled him the moment dad told him to leave... that dispair and sadness. he wanted to stay, to ask Dad to forgive him, wanted, needed Dean on his side instead of crying hid in the impala, needed his Dad to say he was proud of him, or at least that he understood instead of that "if you go, then stay gone"

now that you are gone
casting shadows from the past
in my dreams I hear your voice at last


Dean remembers the minutes Dad spènt with him at the hospital "I love you both" he said "take care of Sammy" Dean was so shocked to hear that he thought it was because of the accident and the damage he suffered that softened his Dad, after all; only when he was hurt Dad pampered him
"I'm fine, I'll be fine, now... we have the colt and..." Dad shook no with his head and his eyes always sad and distant seemed so different "you must know I'm proud of you two Dean, and I'm sorry for..." sighed, turned nervous and bit his lips "I..." Dad actually gasped and moved one step at the side, held Dean's hand and then whispered something in his ear And Dean for once in his life hated his Dad.

don't you cry
or suffer over me
I will be waiting for you


Sam never expected it to be truth, the family business, as he wasn't expecting Dad sending him away, he wasn't expecting his brother or the rage and need of revenge that filled im after Jess died, he wasn't expecting the fire in Dean, the anger the pain, he was expecting his brother to be there for him, How selfish, he thought seeing Dean alone in the junkyard pretending he wasn't crying, pretending he didn't miss dad.

Dean's sorrow was so big that chained his dad's soul to this land, every tear was like an iron nail, and if he ever knew.. He's sure he'd just let it go, he could've forgoten his dad in order to spare him some pain, but he never knew until the first time he was in heaven, the first time someone killed Dean Winchester, and when Archangels sent him back he kept thst memory, because he's special.
The same way Sam knew Jess was fine and that deep inside Dad always were proud of him too, the only bitterness he ever felt against Dean was gone.

don't you cry
angels never fade away
I'll be watching over you


It was a night when he lost his mother and it was a night when he saw his Dad go, it was a night when he sold his soul to save his brother and he lost his family on a night too... He lost Cas on a night and every time he remembers his loses it's dark outside, How could he believe Mom after all this time? how could he believe her after seeing what he saw? yet, every time he thinks about Castiel pulling him out of hell he thinks on his mom aswell and his heart breaks again...

Life has changed them, the world is a crazy scary place where Dean and Sam lost Bobby, lost Mom and Dad, lost their friends and the last chances of love and a normal life...

The last stand took place near to the ruins of what once was their home, Bobby's place... in a snowy december night Dean Saw the last of his father, as a ghost. Bloody and hurt the boys smile to the shadow in front of them, CAs left telling them he'll be back after fixing something for their parents.

After all this time Dean gets to see Dad again and being an adult, being a cynic, because lets face it, things like this can actually turn you into a cinic, he smiles and his arms itch to be hugged by the man that raised him, but there's no chance for it, behind them inside the light Sam can see another face, Mom is there, calling Dad, she's smiling too, the second Dean sees her he gasps, She holds John's arm but instead of pulling her husband back comes forward to his boys, Dad is forbiden, Castiel made them all promise, no chance to touch him, but Mom... she was never part of the deal. please let her touch me. they beg.

I can see you tonight
in the pale winter light
father and son again
the bond of blood will never end


"My angel" she hugs Dean and Dean just sobs, so loud and so painfully that Bobby is crying behind them "Look at you, you're a man..." she smiles "you've been so brave, baby..." her hand on his cheek makes him close his eyes and shudder "and you're so good" she leans and kisses his forehead "Nothing would have been done without the righteous man... My angel..." hugs him once more and whispers "I'll be watching over you sweetie." and moves to Sam, almost pulling herself away from Dean's clinging hands "Sammy..." Bobby moves to Dean and he holds him for dear life while John smiles faintly.

"Mom" whines Sam, his face as damaged as Dean's, cuts and bruises in every piece of flesh exposed, Dean is a soldier and never show how much it hurts but with Sam is different
"You'll be fine my baby.." Mom hugs Sam so tight he feels like she'd never let him go again, and as if he would never stop feeling her next to him "My brave boy... wish I had more time with you, but your Dad made a great job with you... just look at you!" and moves back to look at Sam "my brave boy" holds him again and kisses his forehead before repeating the same "I'll be watching over you" Dad holds his hand out for her and John calls for Bobby
"Take care of my boys Bob" Bobby mumbled under his breath that he always does "you two are the reason for everythimg I ever did, if I didn't let you see it... if I ever..." John sighs and shakes his head "I'm sorry for... for everything" the light behind them grows and Castiel appears near to Dean
"it is time..." and then Mom and Dad are gone.
That's the first time in years, since they burnt Dad's bones they cry without shame to show their tears, Cas study the faces and the tears, Bobby moves from one to the other with a hand on their shoulders and orders to get a grip.
from hesven Dad is watching his boys whispering and crying tears that become flickering Stars "Don't you cry..."

***
Fin
******************************************************************
Here's the link to the video that kinda inspired this story, edited it like a million times and this sick leave gave me the time
Link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SV78TtehOZg
szarabasjka: (Default)
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made.

Title: Fooled again - Morgan

Rating: PG

Prompt: They show us what we want to see, the profile says different
Characters: Dereck Morgan, BAU team
Summary: One might be fooled to think that what we see about the BAU is real.

A/N: There's alot we don't know about the team members, what they have inside.

A/N2: I tend to think on the weirdest things while preparing for stress, this came to me last year but couldn't make it out in the way I wanted it, it is a weird personal statement in the words of the BAU members


One might be fooled to believe that SSA Morgan i jut this though alpha male macho guy, he's not really... one mighty think that going out every time with a different girl is a way to show that he can, but is not, he never dates the same girl twice *or at least not in a row* because he's afraid, afraid that he might hurt her, afraid that he'd not be good enough for her, afraid that he might love her too much, big bad Morgan is afraid of being hurt... go figure... he think looking at himelf in the mirror at morning, but he've seen Gideon, he's seen Hotch, and he's just afrai of not being that though, not being able to deal with what they went throught.

One might be fooled to think that he's well adjusted and that he is over everything bad that happened in his youth, but he's not, at night he wakes up covered in cold sweat and trying to move away from invisible hands that never really leave him.

One might be fooled to believe that Morgan does not mis thoe who left, he' the one cold and ignoring the abent one, but he does, in his locker he still ha a pic of Elle on their trip to the island, right before she got hot, he kept JJ's baby pic for months, he has things from Jason too, he has the paper where he wrote the "we know is not you" when they worked with the CIA.

He kept the badge the reaper left with Hotch, because it makes him remember he almost lost a friend, that Reid got shot, that he wasn't there for them, the part where he was the one in danger is never that bad when you considere you should be taking care of others.

One might be fooled to believe that his mom and sisters aren't there all the time, he's sure they're safe, he' sure they have what they need, all of them, he' sure... because that's what Dereck morgan does, being there for everyone.

He tries to fool himelf to think he only jokes when he calls Garcia sweetheart, but he does that because she's warm and caring and mean every word, he's always miling at the idea of her, just a he feels the same warm weird feeling inside for Spencer, or for Emily, he likes to use her first name, it makes him think on his baby sister, Emily might not need a brsther looking over her but till... it make him feel important. until.. she needed him and he lost her.
The betrayal still feels like a burn.

One might be fooled to think he doesn't pray, but he does, since Penelope got shot, since his Pretty boy was shot on the knee, since Hotch was stabbed, since JJ left and then came back, sicne then he prays every day, not to be safe, not to survive, he prays for this little family to be united and to have them around for many years.
but SSA Derek Morgan wouldn't want us to know that.
szarabasjka: (Default)
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made.

Title: Fooled again - Elle

Rating: PG

Prompt: They show us what we want to see, the profile says different
Characters: Elle Greenaway, BAU team
Summary: One might be fooled to think that what we see about the BAU is real.

A/N: There's alot we don't know about the team members, what they have inside.

A/N2: I tend to think on the weirdest things while preparing for stress, this came to me last year but couldn't make it out in the way I wanted it, it is a weird personal statement in the words of the BAU membersOne might be fooled to think she doesn't regret it. After all is Elle Greenaway bad ass FBI Special agent, cold hearted bitch... you have to be if you want to work with sex crimes.

One might be fooled to think she doesn't miss them, that she never cared for them, but how could she not? we haven't seen the care on Morgan's hands helping him on the car, the worried look on JJ's eyes holding her go bag, Reid's soothing voice reading all kind of crazy stories for her even when unconscious, she remembers his voice, remembers him waiting for her, remember and misses him like the little brother she never had, until she met him.

Now she's no longer mad at Hotch, after all it wasn't his fault, she started crying at the hospital, she pretended to be asleep when she felt Hotch's lips touching her forehead and an I'm sorry so heartfelt, right there, after the weird dream/hallucination she had with her father it felt like she had someone again, is not only respect she feels, is not only that she looks up to him.
She've checked on them now and then, she was right there in Haley's service, wanted so bad to go to him, to make him feel the same kind of comfort she felt when he gave her his jacket.

She was there when they filled her desk, delivering a package, Morgan looked at her in the red wig for way too long, she thought he knew... Elle saw the second Emily Prentiss sat on her chair, cleared her desk and set her stuff on the surface once had her pictures and personal effects she even looked at her and smiled, how is Elle Suposed to hate her if she smiles like that? DAMN!

One might be fooled to believe there's nothing she regrets, she doesn't regret the shot, doesn't regret killing the bastard, but seeing her team, her once upon a time family she does regret leaving like that, whtout explanation, without looking back.

"It eats your soul" said Gideon once on the plane when the rest were sleeping "you have to deal with it, and find something to fill the empty it leaves..." patted her hand and smiled at her, now she wish the love of her team were enough to her back then.

Now as a police officer, seeing what scared her at first every day there's no one day she doesn't wish she could go back, one might think she doesn't mind but she does, even after all this time she loves them and thinks about them every day.
szarabasjka: (Default)
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made.

Title: Fooled again - Hotch

Rating: PG

Prompt: They show us what we want to see, the profile says different
Characters: Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner, BAU team
Summary: One might be fooled to think that what we see about the BAU is real.

A/N: There's alot we don't know about the team members, what they have inside.

A/N2: I tend to think on the weirdest things while preparing for stress, this came to me last year but couldn't make it out in the way I wanted it, it is a weird personal statement in the words of the BAU members

One might be fooled to think it doesn't matter, that the cold serious expression is just the way things are inside, but no...

Sometimes the fact that there's finally a family he belongs with is important, sometimes he feels like he's betraying his mom, and his brother...

He remembers when he was seven, he was just this little thing, too small to defend himself, too scared to try to do so, too traumatized - now he recognize- to act against violence, because he feared everything, for how things were at home... beaten just because he was too small to fight back, and being The Hotchner's son... the Drunk's son made it hard, that's why he cares so much for Reid's feelings because he knows how it is to be teased and bullied for something that's not your fault, he remembers when shameful tears rolled down his face, after that kid punched him, blood running from his nose, leaving its taste on his mouth, while everybody was laughing...

But he grew from that, next time he cried was because his dad passed away, how can you feel releif for that? what kind of freak he was? no more pain was the explanation. Aaron looked to his brother, to his mom. "no more..." repeated

One might be fooled to think it doesn't hurt... that he lost Elle, that he couldn't help Gideon, that Reid almost were killed because of him, That Rossi is now under his orders... That Haley took Jack away, that she left him, you never - he will be sure of it- never see it all on his face, never let it show on the way he's acting, but it hurts, soemtimes he let it show, JJ is the expert on those, is like the lady has a third eye directed exclusively to him, for those moments when he's feeling bad.

One might be fooled to think he's okay with having lost Haley, with having killed foyett with his bare hands, that he never rememebers it... but the second his fingers stumbe upon scars on his skin, even if not those scars he remembers, and his heart aches, his gut churns and his mouth wants to say her name... every day he feels it was just fair to kill Foyett the way he did, it doesn't take the pain but makes it more beareble, every day he touches a scar it happens, every day while getting ready for work.

One might be fooled to think he doesnt' care, doesn't feel flattered by the fact that every lady he've worked with is often calling and asking for his help, Kate, Andi, Cece, that he ignores the longing looks from even his teammates, Garcia, Emily and even Jennifer, he cares, but not like that, because he was Haley's, he might pretend, he might want to fool himself about getting over her, but no... he's trying, dating Beth is just a response to his own needs, he sometimes needs to feel... something, something more than concern and protectiveness, more than the weird blind admiration Reid shows when he looks at him, just like Jack, More than Morgan's constant search for validation. he needs to feel... something else than Rossi always trying to figure him out.

One might be fooled to believe he's just this serious cold FBI agent, but he's not, he needs to be more than that, he needs to be the man he was born like, he needs to feel more.
szarabasjka: (Wink)
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made.

Title: Fooled again - Garcia

Rating: PG

Prompt: They show us what we want to see, the profile says different
Characters: Penelope Garcia, BAU team
Summary: One might be fooled to think that what we see about the BAU is real.

A/N: There's alot we don't know about the team members, what they have inside.

A/N2: I tend to think on the weirdest things while preparing for stress, this came to me last year but couldn't make it out in the way I wanted it, it is a weird personal statement in the words of the BAU members

:::
You might be fooled to believe the feelings expressed towards Morgan were real, after all he is the teaser, always making jokes about looks, always with endearment terms, always touching...
But the only thing that made it easy to stay after the first case was not Morgan, right after that, when everybody turned curious prying eyes towards the unfamiliar, not remotedly adecuated form in the room, the voice came from Morgan the first moment, even before the amazing smile faded something else captured full atention, okay, Gideon was there but also Hotch.
There's one thing about Hotch, for the first 20 minutes you spend with this BAU team you might not even notice him, he's just there being serious, quiet and giving orders and useful insight about pretty much everything, knowing almost as much as that big brain. and back then? without Prentis, without Elle, there was something else... the same quiet powerful person but his eyes were more alive.

maybe was because he used to be happy, when she heard of Jack coming something kinda died inside of her, but after all.... it is Hotch we're talking about,he loved Haley fully, as one of those rom coms, absurdly too much and with such blind devotion it was both infuriating and admirable, after all the fact that he would never cheat on her made him more perfect and easier to love. and Jack was the perfect cherry over the freaking perfect cake... and she wanted him to be happy at all costs

She kept her blonde hair because he married a blonde, so he might like blonde hair, not like she has a chance anyways.

When nobody is watching, when nobody else is paying atention she stares at him, he more than once said he admires and respects her, and there are few moments now and then... once he called sweetheart, he sometimes jokes with her, he trusted her when she was so out of her deep for a job she was sure couldn't handle.


That's what she remembers, that and the sad pityful look Derek Morgan gave her, she hates profilers sometimes, That's what she remembers, and she remembers she was once mad at him, it was all Gideon's fault, but she was hearing it, how he ended the whole matter.

Everything changes when you see your life in danger, and in this case she risked others aswell... not others, her friends, her family, and at the worst times she can only hear what happens. Then came HIM, her real boyfriend, she might like teasing with Morgan and she might like Kevin, but there's still this ember inside of her, for Hotch.

Once and only once her heart nearly stopped when he said those words "Garcia I love you" she nearly died right there... just like when she heard the flowers were sent by him, as a thank you for having Gideon yeah.. but still from him.

After Elle left she felt weird, especially because the one taking care of her was Him, after JJ was forced to leave she felt weird because he was working his ass off to keep the spot waiting for her, When Emily left she felt weird, heartbroken and all to have her back and he wearing that facial hair that had her panting.

There'sw so much to love about Hotch.. she'd stay there, for another decade if that's being close to him, there's so much to love about him, even if he never really loves her back.

One might be fooled to believe that seeing him with Beth doesn't hurt, yes it hurts, is only after that she broke up with Kevin Lynch, it's only after that Morgan took her out, one might believe she has to chose, but there's no choice, she's there for the long run, inside her colorful shell she's as dark and rotten as the rest of them
szarabasjka: (Default)
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made.

Title: Every time you laugh an angel has his wings broken

Rating: PG-13

Prompt: : Dean's Birthday
Characters: John Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester
Summary: This is why Dean said "I don't even like to be singled out for birthdays... even less by God"

A/N: I tend to think on the weirdest things while preparing for stress, this came to me last year but couldn't make it out in the way I wanted it, it is a weird personal statement in the words and in the mind of Dean.

A/N: I'm a huge fan of John but needed it to be abusive, I do not think he'd be like this all the time, only when he was really frustrated at Sam and was Safer to lash out on his stronger son.

***

Dean saw how his attempt of nice dinner finished, as usual with Sam doing what he does best, being a brat. And dad being mad at someone, and since today it can't be Dean, he smashed the table and all that was on top against the nearest wall

"What I've said Samuel!!! you'll do your job, and that includes cleaning the fucking guns, not Dean, not me, YOU!!" Sam snorted and said something nasty
"I'm not gonna do anything, so don't tire yourself" laughed again, knowing Dean will defend him, held a book and sat back in front of the TV, Dad got his belt and moved towards his freshly 12 years old Son.

Dean by instinct held Dad's arm."Please..." Dad turned to him.

"this is not about you!!!" Dad barked and Dean gasped, Gosh! he knows better than to gasp when Dad lash out on him, scrunched his eyes and bit his lip for what was coming.

"What is wrong with you? you're acting like some kind of bitch Dean, man up, boy!!" Sam snorted even louder before another fit of laughter left his mouth.

"You see? You not only have me as a failure, he's not good either" got his book and left the room, Dad turned at Dean, his eyes full of contempt and sighed shaking his head no. "do something useful... clean this mess..." on his way to the door Dean heard "it's all you're good for"

And Dean's eyes filled up with tears. while scraping mashed potatoes from the wall and fixing the table's broken leg he whispered to himself "Happy Birthday Dean, I'm glad you're here with us..." before the only sob he let out filled the air for a split second.

Drabble

Nov. 4th, 2011 12:29 am
szarabasjka: (Default)
Tittle: Respect
Universe: Supernatural
Rated: G (thou some mentions of sex and medical terms)
Characters: John Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, OFC

***
John was sure that his 11 years old son needed to hear this from hin after what he saw few nights ago on the car

Dean looked at him funny the next day, it was like Dean knew he hooked up with that blonde again... there was nothing wrong in that He thought to himself, after all I'm not cheating my wife... she's ... it took all his willpower to even considere the idea of Mary been dead, even after eight years, three months and twelve days, three hours and seven minutes he mumbled seeing his son once more looking at him.
Sammy was next to Watching that stupid cartoon,some kind of yellow little monster.
'Dean, come here...' said bracing himself for whatever that little mouth could spew
'yes sir?' asked him, his head down, brow scrunched and bitting his bottim lip, as if he was sure was about to be punished
'tonight you and me will talk, okay?' said trying as much as he could to avoid the subject
'yessir.. ' he huffed and was going back to the couch 'if you think you have time for us...' mumbled under his breath and John pretty much could hear him.
***
'Sammy is asleep' said Dean when Dad passed the door that night 'we did homework and you have to sign the permission form for the Museum's visit he's going on friday' and moved to the small space they had a kitchen in 'do you want something to eat?' Dad turned to the TV it was 21Jumpstreet on, Dean wanted to be like Hanson, h've heard
'its okay... come here' he said Scratching his neck 'we'll talk about... uhhh... what you might have seen...' cleared his troath 'the other night'
'what you were doing with that lady from the dinner?' Dad nodded 'I know what you were doing, we live in motel rooms dad, I've seen movies...' John swallowed hard, what was his kids watching while he was out? 'I'm not watching... just... you know... I see things, kids talk about it...' shrugged 'no big deal' and Dean moved away
'Still I think is time for us to talk about few things'
'like what?' said Dean cheeks already pink and obviously flustered, kids at school said that dads tend to have this "talks" with them, and even if Dean is curious,there's alot he does want to ask, he rather don't have to talk about this with Dad just like it were the weather of Sammy's clothes.
'things... uh... things dads have to tell their sons, let me see how we should start this...' Dean almost laughed Dad's cheeks were pink even with the beard there and it was awkward for him too. 'Whena man loves a woman... no... when you... boys about your age will start feeling changes, and seeing them too' Dean got close 'have you noticed something yet?' Of course Dean did, his voice was changing already and the voice coming now was stronger and lower, Dad got up and got to the fridge while he was answerig, he brought a coke for Dean and a beer for himself.'Exactly, then you'll start having hair in places... you know like adults have... that's caused by hormones, don't ask me the names... that's pure bull... testosterone is the main one thou...' said Johm kicking himself in his head for messing things up 'and you'll start liking girls' Dean groaned.
'that will never happen, girls are... weird and have no idea what a car is or why glocks are better than colts... or' John laughed and held his hand up
'trust me you will' John was sure he was only 11 and still half the ladies in every town turned to see him, he was a looker and John was proud of his boy, the one who looked more like him but had Mary's eyes, and Mary's heart..
'nahhh' said Dean laughing 'I don't like them, they always look at me and make me uncomfortable'
'one day you won't mind it' cleared hsi troath again and started with the sex part of the conversation.
'ew... are you saying that you and mom...?' Dean gagged and shuddered looking away blushing furiously, and John had to smile, but then Dean's eyes opened and turned to him 'and you and the lady from... Am I going to have another brother?!' shriecked and Johm coughed his beer
'NO!! NO!!! Sex is not always to make babies, I thought you said you saw things on TV, sometimes it's just for fun...'
'Naahh one's.. thing getting all messy on a girl for fun? naahhh!!' more blushing.
'well, one day you'd understand that's not a bad thing... but the important part is that...' got cut by Dean's groan 'What?'
'now I have to explain all this tp Sammy? he'll be so confussed, he still thinks girls gives you cooties' Johnlaughed now, hard, and for once in a long time felt silly.
'one day i'll have this conversation with your baby brother, until then you'll keep this to yourself, it's like a rithe at certain age'
'Thanks God, 'cause I'm not saying him his thing will grow at the sight of a girl...' John gasped
'think you didn't get thing sright kid... but we'll go over details latter, okay? what's impoertant is that you have to know that you have the right to decide if you want to bwe with someone or not, there's nothing in this world that feels better than to wait for the right one...'
'like you and mom?' John smiled
'I want to believe that, yes' nodded 'is not as important to be the first thsn to be the definitve, and you have to respect the people you're with, no matter thwt you'd never impose your desires over another person, or let anyone decide for yu, first comes your self resect and respect for your partner and then...'
'okay, okay I get it...' said raising his hand 'respect comes first, but what if... you know is a... a hooker?' John shook his head
'is still a lady, and you'll respect her for what she is'
'so... when you almost knocked the lady outside the 7/11...'
"nope.. it was a guy... " Dean looks at him confused
"she was wearing a dress..."

"there are some guys to like to... uhh... sometimes... Uh " okay, don't blame him, imagine you had to explain this to your own kid "I think that's a different conversation for a different time." he smiled "just be respectful, okay?" Dean is still looking away witht he cutest lost expression picturing aguy dressed as a girl, with boobs... and only nods "you're supposed to do everything to keep them safe and make them secure and cared for..."

Drabble

Jun. 13th, 2011 12:57 am
szarabasjka: (Default)
Tittle: Let you down
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta Lovely [livejournal.com profile] chiazu
gender: Friendship
rathed; G
Spoilers: not really but a little about S6 finale
Summary: its S7 first epi, and Jensen has to let Dean Cry, it is always hard.



"I'm fine" he lies but Jared knows better, it was hard for both of them when any of them had to cry.

"You're not" Jared murmures and smiles, they hear the voice over the rest "Once more and we're done, please Jensen get to your mark I promise the micke is working this time" Jared hates the stupid thing, Jensen is still trying to control his breathing.

"One last time J is almost weekend, okay?" and Jensen smiles a hollow smile that doesn't reach his eyes. Still too wired up. They hear the action! and Dean takes over and his lines are powerful and emotional, making Jared's skin crawl, promising he'll always protect him and that they'll stop apocalypse and they will help Castiel "Because he's one of us, and we always help our family!" Dean says turning around and taking the guns they got in the Impala's trunk.

"Now let's finish this" He says cleaning his face and ignoring Sam's attempt to comfort him "It's my fault I took him for granted, I deserted him the way I deserted you so many times," he says and sobs "as I did with dad, with Bobby, but this time I'm gonna do things right, we're gonna help him, he doesn't know what he's doing." Sam gets the gun he passes and Dean keeps talking "I won't let you guys down... not again" he finishes walking towards the drivers side of the car.

Another shout calling it a-wrap, and Jensen sobs one last time before huffing and turning to Jim and Jared, Jared open mouthed looking at him.

"What?" Jim clears his throat and smiles, telling him what a great job he did. Jared had tears on his eyes "What?" Jensen asks once more smiling this time his real smile

"think I just fell inlove with you" says Jared and the both of them start laughing

"After seven years? it's a little late J" Jensen jokes and sighs once more, Jared get close and hugs him

"Great job Jen, that was great" and Jensen cries for a minute or two held in Jared arms, Jared not wanting to let him go, wanting with all his heart to tell that he never let him down. NEVER.
the End
szarabasjka: (Default)
Supernatural drabble/Short story yet again


John hid from them, held his bottle and sat on his bed, Dean opened the door, his oldest son, a man already, walked straight to him
'are you serious? are you just letting him go?!!' and throwing his hands up 'Just like that?' John couldn't look up, he couldn't look to Dean's face, to his eyes, to Mary's eyes filled with tears.

'Dean, I can't do anything else, is not like he's gonna hear me...' it was true, sometimes he remembers Mary saying she never wanted the life their parents had, she wanted to be away from everything, and Sam, the kid was acting pretty much like his mother once did

'you can!! you can tell him to stay, tell him to stay with... us' and his vioce broke, Dean never cries, he never complains, he never talks back, that's Sam's job, and now, seeing his son crying over this brakes his heart, he wish he could reasure him, but John is afraid that if he tries to speak he'd start crying too 'please Dad, make him stay...' and fell at the foot of the bed crying.

It all started like a year ago when Sam turned 17, and started worrying about SAT's and all that, he sent college aplications without telling them, he ran away once already and Dean brought him back, but this time? this time he said he was going to college, and no order, no words, not even treats worked on him, not even Dean pleas.

now that he saw his firstborn crying his heart out at the foot of the bed Sam was packing in the next room 'please... Dad, we have to be together, say something... make him stay!' he kept begging, and John had to do something even if that means feeling every shard of his heart mving inside his chest again, looking into those green eyes, moved and held Dean up.

'Son, listen to me, I can't make him stay, he has to want to stay with us, he's not like you, you want this...' but Dean shook his head

'NO... no, I had to stay , had to, there's no other way, we have to be together, we're a family' and sobbed again, John sighed, and after an awkward silence tried to finish this

'I'm sure he'll be fine, you know it...' but once again Dean shook his head 'Sam is not himself right now, Dean, you have to...' Dean jolted scaring him a little

'he's not himself...' and ran to his duffle before running out, John sighed, yeah at least one of them was acting as usual.

after one long swing of the JD he had in hands heard the first, a bump and a groan, Sam screaming and Dean huffing, knowing Dean Sam would need some help. Ran to the door, opened it and found them fighting, they kept doing it for a while, they needed this, maybe if they could let it out... but wasn't working. That was obvious for the ammount of bruises they sported already, a puddle of something on the floor and some salt they throwed while fighting, then John saw it, gleaming in the slim light, Dean had something in his right hand, a knife and was holding it against Sam neck, while his youngest was trying as hard as he could to push him away.

'Dean NO!!!' and in a half second was over them holding him to take the knife away, he saw blood on Sam's arm, and the youngest started crying.

'He's not himself, He's not himself, if he were my brother he'd never want to leave...' screamed Dean trying hard to escape John, Sam was crying, and he needed to control this.
"Wow," John thought "Dean was a man now, a strong one for sure"

Sam was there looking like a small boy, staring amazed from his wounded arm to his brother, the one who cared for him more than anybody else, even more than Dad, but then Dean got still

'he's fine....' said and his voice broke, the clang of the silver knife hitting the floor startled John a little 'you really want to leave...' and Sam moved closer

'I have to, Dean, how come you can't understand...?' tried to hold Dean's arm and he swated it away

'don't touch me you... ' and sobbed

'you're supposed to be on my side Dean, you're supposed to understand' cried Sam

'that you don't want to be with your family? no Sam, I don't get that, I'm... I understand why dad think you're better off gone...' and turned to leave, Sam moved and held Dean's arm

'you don't understand!! is Stan...' Stanford got cut when Dean throwed him to the floor in one blow

'Dean!!' John got close 'enough' and Dean clenched his jaw and started leaving.

'you're right Sam... I dont understand why your family isn't enough for you' and left the room

'what you told him?' asked Sam 'you're not happy unless I have no choice, right?' the bitterness of every word hurt like hell, but John had made his mind and couldn't go back, it was for the best, it was to give Sammy a chance.

'you've said you're gone... then stay gone... Dean does not deserve this' he went to his bedroom and stayed there the whole night. When fianlly came out found Sam packing, Dean spent the whole night out.

Maybe Dean had Mary's eyes, and that heart that...God, Sometimes... but Sam was like him, more than he wanted to admit, and had that stuborness only Mary had, and now, he had to give up on him, for good. crossed the room, picked up Dean's stuff and left, without a word, he had no strenght to say anything or he'll beg him to stay, found Dean asleep in the car, tried hard not to wake him up, his heart kept telling him to do it, so the boys could say good bye, they needed that.

'Hey Dean...' Dean sat 'we're leaving in 15, wanna go to the bathroom or... to...' Dean sighed, shook no 'I warn you, I'm not gonna stop until noon; doesn't matter if you have to pee or if you're hungry.. we need to get to Minnessota tomorrow' put the duffel in the back sit 'the room is still open in case you need something, I'll be right back' pointed to the diner across the street 'do you want something? Pie?' could see his eyes swallen and red when he nodded 'just 15 okay?' and moved away.

It took more than 15, he saw Dean entering the room, and saw Sam coming out after few minutes, crying like an orphan and his arms itched to hold him close, Damn pride.

Saw Dean coming out after another couple minutes, and he sat on the car quietly, John still had to be sure Sam was okay, waited until the bus left before going back to the Impala, holding the slice of pie for Dean 'lets go Son...' said serious 'everything okay?' Dean only shook his head 'don't worry, everyting is gonna be fine' right then he decided he'll give Dean the Imapala, they had the truck for a while and this was his boys' car anyways, he'd take care of it, after all it was the closest to a home the boys had.

after few weeks, Dean's bruises healed pretty well, except for the small one on his chin, it looked luke some kind of birth mark, you had to know where to look to find it, somewhere in California Sam's had healed too, the mark on his arm was pink and almost gone, but not completly, there was a small shadow, you see, there are some scars that are emant to stay, those remind us that we've lived, that we've suffered, but show us too that we're stronger now.
szarabasjka: (Default)
Tittle: Jokes.. and how they escalate...
Universe: Supernatural
Author: Kali
beta no yet
gender: Brotherly love
rated; G
Spoilers: None
Summary: Dean and Sam always had this prank wars that end up in a mess, this is the story of the first one.

A/N1:(THEN)Supernatural drabble/story/thingy, I started thinking about this this morning while changing dressings and it kinda came to life now...

A/N:(NOW) I tend to think on the weirdest things while preparing for stress, this came to me a while ago, but now it makes sense.

***
Sam woke up when something cold and slick moved near to his leg, and sat up in bed to find a huge snake, he screamed and moved away as fast as possible, so fast that he couldn't remember if Dean's laugh or Dad rushing through the door came first, but he does remember the second he noticed it was a fake rubber snake that Dean had in cold water before. and Dad wasn't amused.

That was one stupid joke his older brother had no right to play on him, of course he did it only because Sam painted nun robes over every girl on Dean's Only Playboy mag he could keep away from dad, and Sam did that because Dean accidentally *he claimed* left All of Sam's pants at Bobby's, left all his own pants on a laundromat before pushing Sam into a puddle of mud, and then while Sam had to stay at the motel went out to the movies, but he did it only because Sam ruined his fave shirt with giant sparkly pink sticky thingies, and Sam did that because Dean added nair on his shampoo and now he had this stupid *we girls will call it adorable* short haircut that made him look like a four year old... and he was 10 already!

Of course the Nair came after Dad sent Sam to call his eldest son who was talking to a girl on a diner and Sam cried and cried saying Dean left him on a park not telling him where he was, the girl gave Sam ice cream and ignored Dean ever more, and he did it only because Dean found the ugliest ever Clown costume and jumped him when he opened the motel's room door, Sam really cried that time, Dean said he was sorry... but Sam needed revenge!

Even after Dad told them to cut the crap out they kept doing it, Dean put dolls in Sam's school bag and the whole school saw them when mysteriously it tore open right after first period, So when Dad arrived and had Dean' beeper back, Sam sent a message "thanks for last night, love. Roberto" Dad looked at him funny for a while and gave him the "Condom talk" again with extra bits that had Dean in three shades of red.

After the message and the snake things kinda were fine for a couple of days, maybe because Dean was working out like crazy, that has been the only way for John to control him, after one night police called asking for Dean Winchester's parents, the trip to the station were tense, Dad even asked Sam, very serious, if this wasn' one of his jokes, turns out that Dean has been gambling

'what were you thinking Dean, poker?' Dad said mad 'you're not even 15 for chrissakes' Dean was sitting right behind him

'Is not that serious, and I'm making good money, is better than the cards... less dangerous' he explained, but he was banned to walk around, they went to school and then Dean was working out and after he was meant to stay at their room. that's why Sam was so mad when Dad took only Dean to catch an angry spirit, he wanted to go too, made a whole show because he wanted to go too.
"bad luck runt, I want dinner warm when we get back" teased Dean at the door.

by the time Dean and John came back Sam was asleep, the angry spirit gone and they were fine, at least for the next four days, dad went away and the boys stayed in school, Sam only get to pull one more joke on his brother, Dad's old leather jacket, the one Dean wore day and night, Sam took it and hid it at school, on his gym locker, then he woke up in the middle of the night to see his older brother crying, still looking for his jacket, and he felt bad, how could he be so mean, Dean never hurt him for real...

It was exactly one week after the night Dad and Dean went after the spirit that a guy went missing, at least kids at school said that some kid others dared to go at night to the Murphy's haunted house were missing "they say you can hear screams on that house again... because he's there...." whispered someone to Sam at lunch, and he of course had to tell dad.

It was late and Sam and Dad entered the house, Dean was nowhere to be found and John Winchester had a million things in his head, maybe he was out with a girl or studying, or gambling again against his direct order, he had a list of things he'd like to do to his son for going missing like that, but first had to finish this angry spirit, hopefully without having Sammy hurt, the kid had an EMF reader in his hand and the thing was going crazy, so Dad got the sawed off and started walking ahead, they heard steps and a voice and followed it, more sounds and the needle on their devise was jumping again, dad prepared his gun and pointed Sam the door, Sam got his gun and turned the knob
At three both jumped into the room, Dad fell flat on his back, Sam screamed and Dean screamed.

***

'Don't want to hear your voices or I'll smack you two black and blue!!' Yelled John the moment they got in the car 'and I don't want to ever EVER hear of your jokes again, is that clear?' both kids nodded 'I can't hear you!!!' *damn parents never make their minds* and both boys went for the safe 'yes sir' too scared to say anything else, after a beat Sam pulled Dean sleeve 'I have your jacket I'll give it back... I'm sorry... I didn't meant to make you cry...' Dean smiled 'Don't worry Sammy... ' sighed 'as long a it's safe... I'm sorry I tried to scare you there...' motioned with his head to the house and snorted 'never occurred to me you'd tell Dad...' Sam smiled too 'yeah that was kinda dumb' both chuckled while Dean pulled his brother close.

Surrounded by his arm and feeling safe and cared for Sam felt guilty 'I'm sorry about the mag...' Dean shrugged 'but the clown...' said whinny

'hey! I said I was sorry for that!!' Dean's voice loud enough to be heard and both held their breaths.

Dad first grunted and then started laughing, scaring both kids 'What were you two thinking!? this jokes aren't even fun...' and he kept laughing until they got to the motel and while his sons got ready for bed.

When Dad got close they were moving from brushing their teeth *it is weird how they tend to do those things together* 'Hey.. rascals' both turned 'seriously, no more pranks okay?' the usual Yessir were heard and John kissed Sammy's head and held Dean close for a second 'good night boys' both kids smiled.

Years after, they started another pranks war, after all they were together again and they will be with Dad in no time.


***
The end

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