szarabasjka: (Default)
 I'm seriously not sure why i do this to myself; after a couple failed dated R caled yesterday and told me he feels I'm being distracted/unatentive/cold (this is the word he used); and he wanted to know if something was wrong.
and I'm not sure what's wrong, I still like him, I still want him, in more ways than one but... is like this is the limit, this is as far as I can go; as far as I can be with someone.
I might have been screwing the best thing I've had in like 7 years.


Feb. 23rd, 2012 07:31 am
szarabasjka: (Default)
I had a couple weird dreams, wanna know why my dreams are intereting enough to create a whole entry for them? because:

a) I dreamt with Jared Padalecki. we were just walking towards the corner store and back, he went to buy Nuttela because hi wife *who by the love of God I cannot like even trying* had been craving it, and I needed coffee, so we went talking about life, regular things, how he mised his dogs, how he felt about being a dad, and he listening a long boring story of why did I broke with my bf and we laughed, we had like half an hour of insane talking, then he said he had to go back and left me like six block away from home... I woke up for a ER call and felt happy.

B) I dreamt with Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner, I wa oncall, and in real life we've been having problem with a gang bringing people seriously wounded and injuries that are very scary, andin the dream I was worried becaue the gang were attacking our front door, not even guards or police made them go back, I turned my head seeing most of the staff were women I told them "whatever happens you all move to the back to a room and lock the door" then I sat to put my shoes on, male shoes, looked up and saw him; Aaron was getting ready to go out, getting his gun ready, amgg on place and all, he turned for a second and he smiled at me reauringly and said "we're in charge of them? of this place security" and I was giggling like an idiot, then out of nowhere a bang woke me up and we had another ER run...

Those are the reason why I think my dreams are interesting enough to post.
szarabasjka: (Default)
I'm on call tomorrow so I cannot party, instead I had a mild celebration with the ward staff that was leaving this morning with us, among them was one person... do you all remember I'm always saying nothing I ever ask for becomes reality? well last night upon the only crazy star on the sky I wished a kiss, I know my so-called bf, -which I call more gay husband- is not around, he's all the way in the south-east with his family... so there I was standing alone under mistletoe, when the second Dolf, came closer, and started talking, Queen my co-worker and on-call partner literally pushed me to him, but nothing happened, he just smiled and after few more mionutes left, I told her "I wish he could have kissed me"

So... the celebration/party/mess ended and we left, we were walking the two blocks wide parking lot under falling snow talking about how much her son enjoyed christmas when an umbrella appeared over my head, Queen was right next to me, I was sure it was hers... but wasn't. Was Dolf's, I wasn't even sure he was leaving, we spoke for a minute or two while he walked me to my car, me; all time sneakers girl, was wearing this stupid high heel boots and had to look to the floor so I won't fall over my face or sometihng, at the end when I was about to get into my car he bent down and kissed me, wished me Happy New year and... and... *giggle* I'm a 12 yo all over again... okay not all the time my wishes are granted but today from all days I had it and I feel fine... I'll celebrate new year's eve with my parents and I'll go to bed as early as posible...
So.. Happy new year again people, have a blast and please remember that 2012 is just starting keep something for tomorrow

Love you all people!!!

I'm here

Nov. 16th, 2010 09:14 pm
szarabasjka: (Default)
and just saw as much of Criminal minds as you can imagine, just saw the S3 finale, and S4 first epi nd DAMN!! how did I missed this show for that long?

Okay I confess started watching it for Shemar moore that must be the hottewst African American actor ever!! then MAtthew Gray Gubler, but every day that passes I'm more and more smitten with Thomas Gibson, the man is amazing in his acting so subtle, you can see emotions and feeling and sensations crossing his face , he -as just few others in TV this days- has only to move his manly face to make us believe what he's saying, but, quoting another character "what do I know I'm a blinker".
After seeing his so endearing Greg in a show with the always annoying Jenna Elfman, I never got to imagine that the same guy was in other movies, just saw Eyes Wide Shut, never ever before cared for it, Cruise is terrible, Kidman is stiff, the rest just boring, but couldn't stop my self to look for him.

His Hotch is great, Hotch is great, it makes him almost real, he's always so serious and so glum, and you'd think he's not even close to the rest of the characters and then.. first when he was cleaning Elle's place... the nwhen he's with Jack and how he never looses his cool not even in front of people that desreves to be punched in the face.

The way he held Strauss hand at the crime scene right after she suspended him, ho whe's always there for Reid and Prentis, how he's always worried and checking on JJ.

as I mentioned before I'm smitten to the bones...

and then.. this gallery:
has pics that for once make my ovaries want to explode!! how weird is that?
szarabasjka: (Default)
waas hell!! why gangs think is funny to fight during my nights? HUH?

anyhpw. liife is fine, M picked me up and we had a quie decent nap, I'm excited and eager to go to bed again
so.. good night LOL
szarabasjka: (Default)
is not my fault that my job doesn't let me see him, is not my fault that my life time dream is coming true at the same time i should be worried abou thim, is not fair and is not good.
I'm hurting, and I'm disapointed of how selfish one can be...

in other news sister is doing stupid stuff and Daniel is waiting to know if he's a father or not, is not lik eI only have him to worry about.

love his hew haircut thou.

off to bed, another on-call tomorrow and then on sunday and then on monday too...
szarabasjka: (Default)
Dr. V said I shouldn't forget I helped them yesterday, not sure what that means... more responsabilities?

Daniel called, he's in need of a countable GOB, because he dated this girl Renee like three months ago, who was seeing this other two guys at the same time, now she's knocked up and is pointing fingers trying to get her bump a daddy, just me but Daniel, my cousin is not stupid, sure enough he's been careful and he's not making me an aunt without my permission, Oh NO!!! I tried to find a way to do things easier for him, and I'm being the responsible adult there, thou he's an adult already, his dad went somewhere in south America to live with a woman, his mom died when he was like seven, and he's all alone. he needs someone, and that someone is gonna be me, if I can help him.

I'm not blaming her, no, my cousin is a dog, a real dog but with one girl at the time, and then, he sticks until the end, and then he chase some other, this one jewel he found was with three guys at the time, so who's the one to blame?

Sometimes I feel I'm unfair with my own gender in order to protect my loved ones, this kid needs me now and I'll be with and for him no matter what, and if out of bad luck is his baby... I'll be hapy to help him too.

Tony called, about the missing date on last weekend when I was on-call, he said he wants to talk to me, and I'm scared. is it over? is it on? did he heard about Marcus? doe that makes me an hypocrite now thati'm reading this together?
szarabasjka: (Default)
how har dis to find a person that is a little bit of a geek, a little bit of a smart person, a little bit of a kid that likes 20's 30's music, and clothes, that likes dark stuff, that likes horror movies and books, that's artsy and likes crazy socks just like me, that lives to drink coffee and laughs all the time?

HOW hard to find someone you like so much it scares you to death!! *squee*
its so easy with him...

I'm gonna keep writing the story, insanity is one of those who already has a end and its gonna be so COOL!!

I'm gonna be on call the rest of the week... yeah.. life sucks, give me a helmet LOL

In my opinoin, life is what we made of it, is not what luck or destiny gave us, is what we did with every decission we made, with every choice we've taken and with every path we took, now stop complaining about what you made of yourself and for yourself.
szarabasjka: (Default)
... like past loves are like wounds that has a crust over it in your heart? and then something happens that removes that crust and makes you hurt all over again like a fresh wound?

I just feel like that, remembering the time when love was something So special, and forgeting that I lost it because life moves on and I decided over my own life not caring for others...

Stupid crust that causes pain and blood all over again.

Josh B-day

Jul. 21st, 2006 09:47 pm
szarabasjka: (Vigg2)
today is a normal day had fun with Huitzil he's amazing, stupid Dulce, she ruined his life...

anyway, I'm listening metal gear solid and after an afternoon of god of wars I'm ready for bed lol
Need a good present for Josh I'm gonna see him tomorrow, he had to see some relatives today.

the weirdest thing happened this afternoon I said' its Josh Borthday!!' and someone said
'he's not a LOTR boy, is he?' my answer'nah hah'
'then why you care about Josh Hartnett's birthday?'

I know I'm kinda weird when is about actors but Josh is not an actor as far as I know...

in diferent news, is Josh Hartnett's bday too lol, so my goose and JH has the same b-day, that's great
Josh Hartnett pic spam

yummy )

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