szarabasjka: (Default)
[personal profile] szarabasjka
 its been so long.
I don't like the sun the way I used to, i don't feel the same giddy feeling under it.
i don't like your hands anymore, because you're not holding mine, stupid too big too scratchy hands that I miss
i don't like the sound of laughter because like it did years ago it soudns like they're making fun of me.
I don't like the empty space next to me; you were supposed to be here.
I don't like bread because it desn't taste like bets and laughter anymore, I miss the giggling idiot with a smile on his face and mirth in his eyes while i can't stop myself from laughing.
I miss you and I don't like it, I shouldn't have to miss you like this.
I don't like gold, it was your color and every coin looks faded, I don't like the stupid green briefs I still see every time I see into that box, or the picture with the sweaty you, if you were here I won't ever complain of you smelling bad. you greasy big bird, I miss you. the string is there to remind me of you, but it hurts more now than it ever did.

if you were here, I'd have someone to cry with because i can't stop myself when i think of you and I couldn't stop myself when I saw your tears, and you never could stop yourself when i was crying... what a sad picture we made, couple saps being dumb; being dumb alone is not the same, with nobody to clean my tears and then the snot of his own face.
I don't like the sun, the bread, the green briefs because my heart is broken, I don't like missing you and crying without you here  because my heart will never be whole again.

and nobody cares.

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szarabasjka

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